The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

pollyanna_26

Monna I've offered a get out re the ark project to Mar .
When I think of the "Man in the Hat " I always picture him striding through Discworld . I would imagine he has the power to magically transport the elephant on our behalf .
Perhaps Lyn would be the ideal keeper once she returns from her holiday . She could take it on a very slow amble on the allotment in between her dog walking duties . If you need rescuing or backup she is near enough to organise us into action .
I'm glad you have a friend who knows you well to accompany you on your viewing you may find it's suitable or may not but at least you will have a chance to think things through .
Well done with putting the house up for sale . You now need to summon your best school marm voice and get the family cracking on sorting their stuff themselves .

All this talk of housing has reminded me of a book I read recently .
Many may be familiar with the tale including Mar . It's called Highland Hermit which tells the story of James McRory Smith who lived for over 30 years in one of the most remote cottages of the British Isles in a run down bothy until 1994 .
He lived alone without mains services and it's a very interesting read for those who like such things .
When my eldest daughter lived in Scotland she lived in four different areas three of which were in "Rob Roy Country " I was really taken with the Bothies . One house she lived in had a view of not official bothies but various wooden structures generally painted green which merged into the surrounding trees very well. Once these mainly unofficial dwellings were pointed out to us my youngest and I noticed more each day very cleverly hidden unless you looked hard . We both dreamed for years of such a home until the real life practicalities kicked in . Just as well in hindsight .

polly

fuddle

NM i subscribe to HP at £1.99 a month for 50 sheets of printing whether that be rich photographs or black receipt printing. My printer cost around £30. The ink is delivered to the door when I start to run out. The printer communicates with HP over WiFi. I don't do a thing.

Just thought I would share as although £24 a year it's still a lot cheaper than buying in ink cartridges myself. It works for me anyway. HTH

fuddle

I'm pleased to read that you're not just going along with the annexe house and daring to give way to what you want Monna. i have to admit to catching up yesterday and being really cross at family's suggestion. I wrote a PM to you but decided not to send it. They're your family and who am I to feel frustrated enough to share it with you eh? In my defense I was peeved with the fireplace people fixing my plasterwork and making a mess but still, I am pleased I didn't send it.

You shudda been over the water monna. Your family, and you, managed quite well then and you'll manage quite well in different bits of the island.

Can I also play devil's advocate with the 'we'll be here to help you when you need it' idea? For all the good will in the world, if you need family to be right on hand in that sort of circumstance then I would think that carers would be in the picture anyway because they're busy people. Not that you'll ever need that sort of help being made of steel. Well aside from that heart of yours that is.

Your life, your finances, your retirement, your time to do what the heck you want. Your family have to stand on their own feet and find their own way accessing a little help and and support from you, not having you footing everything and thinking it's good to pop you in the annexe. No.more tears you, are you hearing. Those tears were because, i reckon, your family have come to you with a cracking solution for them and what seems to be something suitable for you and you know that to reject that idea, which is what you want to do, is to cause upset for them.

I think I'm very much on the wavelength of greenbee who has subtlety​ been suggesting what I think but unfortunately I sometimes can't do subtle, especially not with you but it's how you've trained me to be over the years

Cheapskate

Fuddle - you've said what I was thinking, too! I've been having family issues for several months, so not feeling too charitable to extended family right now!! :rotfl:

Monna, when I think back over all you've told us about your life, the more I admire you and agree with fuddle; this is YOUR time, and being selfish is not always negative - don't rush into something just to please or make others' lives easier, you have time to make the choice that's right for YOU. After a lifetime of putting others first, do that for yourself for a change!

I think my tough times may be slowly ending. Mam's house seems to be sold (fingers crossed!) 10 months after we put it on the market, to a nice first time buyer couple, but we still have loads to remove from it, including all mam's clothes!! :eek: . Uni is nearly over, got 2 assignments and my dissertation to finish in the next 3 weeks, so plenty of late nights! :rotfl: New windows and doors might be going in during May or June, so a bit more mess to come, but nothing like the horrendous upheaval of 3 months building work whilst we were still living here. I will be so glad to just have a mees-free home to look after, have an end to mam's passing and finish uni - my poor little brain is absolutely fried! :T. :rotfl:

A xo

ivyleaf

Sending you very best wishes Cheapskate

Thinking about the elephant, if Lyn could keep it on the allotment she'd have no worries as to fertiliser, would she?

Fuddle brilliant post! I feel monnagran should keep all options in mind but do what feels right for her. monnagran darling, please excuse my talking about you as if you're not here


Did anyone else find driving particularly :eek: yesterday? OH set out to collect SIL, to give him and his guide dog a lift to the vet. He turned the corner near our house to get to the main road, only to watch a truck driver drive into the road from the other end, "park" at an angle right across the road, and start unloading, so no one could get past in either direction. Luckily OH had no one behind him as yet, so was able to reverse out of the road and find another route.
But even once he was on the way, drivers kept pulling out in front of him, or cutting him up. Even SIL, who has very little sight, was led to exclaim "What are they doing?"

Even DS, the most patient and laid-back of drivers, who resolutely refuses to get stressed about driving as a rule, had to drive in central London yesterday and said he'd never known it so crazy and that there were "a few terse moments".
There was a full moon on Tuesday night so that probably has something to do with it.

Not a very restful night last night either, particularly as some foxes decided at one point that our road was the place to be. In the end someone came out and made a noise - I think they were banging a wooden spoon on a saucepan - and scared them away. OH slumbered peacefully throughout.

ETA I just re-read my post....Just to make it clear - it wasn't the foxes that were banging a wooden spoon on a saucepan

monnagran

Oh Wow! There is not much doubt which way folk are thinking.

I do hope that I haven't given the impression that DS2 and DIL are putting their own interests before mine. They cheerfully acknowledge that this arrangement would suit them but are perfectly prepared to accept that I will have the last word. They really do care about me as I do them, but although pretty ancient I am not over the hill yet. In fact I shocked them. In the middle of our discussion, DS2 made the great mistake of trying to talk over me. Suddenly I went into headmistress mode and snapped icily, "Excuse me. I am speaking. Do NOT interrupt!" Stunned silence. Neither of them, not even my son had heard that from me before.

Fuddle: Yes, mum. No mum. Three bags full mum. You can't half tick a person off, can't you?
I have listened, read and inwardly digested and pledge a solemn oath to only obey the dictates of mine own heart. Will that do?

I love you, you fierce, bristly person you.

Thanks all of you. I do appreciate your kindness, concern and wisdom.

Now. The family left at 4.30 am to catch the 5.30 ferry. They hope to escape the worst of the traffic on the way to Cornwall.
I am revelling in having the house to myself. Well, myself and two hounds. I am planning an indulgent, totally unhealthy lunch. Possibly bacon and eggs and, if I can be bothered to go up to the shop, mushrooms. A quick whip round the house and an afternoon knitting the last consignment of chicks for this year. Lovely.

Cheapskate: Your life seems to be slowly coming together at last. House renovations are the very devil aren't they? I bet that the next person who says, "It will be lovely when it's finished," Will receive a well deserved punch on the nose.

Ivyleaf: Thank you. I feel a whole lot better about giving up my car after reading your post. One tends to forget what it is really like out there on the roads.

Have a good day all.

x

silvasava

Monna - after reading Fuddles post it has crossed my mind that your DS and DiL have many more years ahead of them and more time whereas you probably want your 'forever' home now especially after recent events.
Not sure I'm putting this across very well.

nursemaggie

Well all this business about me buying another printer it seems I need one to come back so I will still have to pay to check in. I cannot see the point of this as I still have to check my case in, it's not going to go down a telephone line.

I have not had to print my ticket with Air Malta. I just present with my case and my passport. It takes a few seconds. Not worth £29.99 each way. I just feel I am being conned left right and centre. Stop the world I wanna get off.

I can't see me affording to go again.

mardatha

Why don't we get an inflatable elephant and blow the blo00dy thing up where we get it to... erm wherever its going!? I've lost the plot now and forgot what we need it for anyway

mcculloch29

pollyanna_26 wrote: »

heI've just caught up and noticed the pink candle shaped like a rose .
McC Thank you for answering my locker question a couple of weeks ago . I did some reading up online and the lock problem seems to have affected a lot of people and lost some their money . If there's an iffy lock out there it's sure to have my name on it . If we could have a reliable gap between appointments I'd order for delivery from the Coop on the site .
I hope the funeral has gone as well as can be . So sad to go so soon x

Thanks, happy to try and help.
The funeral was one of the most comforting services I have been to, so personalised and very much 100% him. Years ago I remember my friend's mother telling me about a formal cathedral funeral service she attended where there was no eulogy and the name of the deceased was only mentioned once.
This was the antithesis of that, lots of shared memories, and music personal to him.

I have just ordered Highland Hermit with my Amazon Prime subscription. Just my sort of book!