The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

silvasava

Agree that no one should suffer abuse - mental or physical - male or female.
My ex once said to me that I should have been born a man - my response was - so should you!
Needless to say things went downhill from there.

Not having a very good couple of days - my aunt has had a number of strokes and has dementia. Her DH is a bl***dy saint in the way he has been caring for her but she had another short spell in hospital just after christmas and has deteriorated to the extent that she now has palliative care. She is only 6 years older than me, we were brought up living a street away so her and my uncle were like a big brother and sister. DH drove me up to see her yesterday and I'm coming to terms with the fact that she will probably not make her next birthday in April. I have also realised I am the last person to have memories of some family members - the end of an era - very sobering.
Went to my Age Concern class this morning and my lovely 80 year old who is getting to grips with her smart phone bought me a bottle of champers and a box of choccy's to say thank you! With the events of the last few days I don't know how I kept it all in.
Need to get my arris in gear and finish sorting the bed linens for the CS or ragging & stop being maudlin.
Hugs to all

nannywindow

Nursemaggie I'm sorry that I brought back such awful memories and thank goodness he is now your ex.

Silvasava Many hugs. I know you have the inner strength to get through these tough times.

Well after "sock gate" my DH somewhat redeemed his self by making a chicken curry from scratch, which was delicious. However I don't really know why he made enough for about 14 people:rotfl:so my freezer will be full again!

nan

ivyleaf

So sorry about your aunt silvasava xx

Enjoy your curry nannywindow

Jazee

Afternoon fencers, I have come on here to have a moan so look away now.

I for one will not be sorry to see the back of January. I have been limited in what I can do since badly spraining my ankle just before new year, the paid stuff is just pants - even made the national news - and now we're having house improvements done, so I am sitting here on the coldest day we've had for a long time with no heating.

I could go on, but I won't. That will do for now.

Hope you're all ok. I'm going to go and cuddle the dogs to try to keep warm.

CRANKY40

ivyleaf wrote: »

mar - believe it or not, we've never tried online grocery shopping! Should do really, but I worry that they will bring a load of stuff with short dates that all has to be eaten within a day or two.

If they do then you ring their customer services and [STRIKE]have a moan[/STRIKE] inform them politely of the situation. You get a refund and you get to keep the stuff. What's not to like about that?

silvasava wrote: »

DH drove me up to see her yesterday and I'm coming to terms with the fact that she will probably not make her next birthday in April. I have also realised I am the last person to have memories of some family members - the end of an era - very sobering.

Have a big hug. That is all.

Monna when we moved house I threw/donated to charity about two thirds of the household contents. I promised the house troll (previously the house elf AKA Master Cranky) that if he missed anything at all I would buy it again for him. Two and a half years later and nothing missed yet.....just saying :rotfl:

nursemaggie

greent You're so right. I was mentally abused for 25 years with my first husband. You think it is all you. When you are told 50 times a day you're useless, you're mad, you can do anything for yourself you believe it. It took me the 25 years and someone else to tell me to get out before I realised what he had done to me. He did it to our son as well. It may be why he does not speak to me.

Once I had moved I found it was him that was dependent on me. Of course I met someone on the rebound and he turned out to be physically abusive. I was much quicker in knowing what was going on with him. What I did not know was he treated our son the same. The annoying thing is DS's School knew and never told me or I may have left sooner.

I only meant to make you all laugh at his strange idea of thrift. It's all a long time ago now, will be 8 years since we left this year.

Jazee the answer is a thick fleece throw. Wrap it round you and snuggle up. They seem to create their own warmth. You will be surprised how quickly you throw it off. I got a nice long haired one last winter for £10 in Wilk0. They still had them last week when I went there.

Work is often bad in the New Year. The let down after Christmas. More people change jobs in January than any other time. I hope it gets better.

nannywindow, great you have a freezer full of ready meals and curries improve in keeping even in the freezer.

Jazee

Thanks Nursemaggie. I am wearing DH's big fleece dressing gown now. It even has a hood.

monnagran

Cranky, I get you. Last November I took advantage of the family being away for a few days to have a toy cull. I put a whole bin bag full of stuff in the garage nd waited to see what was missed. Nothing was, so bit by bit it all found its way to to the CS.

I am being more radical now and removing much, much more. It's quite ridiculous the amount of stuff one small child accumulates these days. If you don't keep on top of it, it builds up until you can hardly move. I have to be a bit careful as it's not really my stuff to dispose of.

Jazee: fingers crossed that once January is out of the way things will improve for you. In the meantime wrap yourself up well. There is nothing more miserable than being cold.

Nanny W: your DH must be fun to live with! You can't know what he'll do next. Enjoy eating your chicken curry for the next month or so.

Silvasava: it is a sobering thought that as the previous generation disappear one by one we are next in the firing line. I find that when I read in the paper about someone my age I find myself thinking, "Oh dear, poor old thing," picturing someone much older than me. I'm sorry about your aunt, it is a rotten way to end your life.

greent: you are probably right. I have endured so much mental and emotional abuse as an adult, and survived, that I almost feel that it is OK. I have never experienced physical abuse so have no idea if I would ever survive that. I suppose that neither of them are acceptable and it's a matter of the devil you know.

My, its freezing today, isn't it. I have had the heater on in my room so it is now full of children and dogs as its the warmest place in the house. Cbeebies is on and Pickle is curled up in my rocking chair having a picnic, one puppy is sitting very close to her hoping that a few crumbs will be dropped and a very large dog is spread out on my bed snoring loudly. I think I will have to go downstairs and sit in the kitchen.

x

camelot1001

Sorry to hear that Silvasava, it's a very difficult time for you.
nursemaggie, so pleased these men are your exes.
I do hope things improve for you Jazee, January can be such a long, miserable month although I have to say it hasn't been as bad for me this year, don't know why.
Goodness me Nanny, is your OH related to me? I once went out to buy bread and came home having bought a new car.

I was all ready for bed last night, took out the bin bag and as I was locking up I felt something at the side of my foot. The conservatory is cold and unused so I thought it was a mouse, or even worse a rat. As I moved towards the inside door I felt it again, hopped about a bit screaming inside to reach a torch only to trip over the bobbles on my slipper, they had come undone and it was one of them that I had felt! What a wally, my heart was racing and it took me ages to get off to sleep.

Hoping for a more relaxed evening tonight!

nursemaggie

camelot :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::T