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The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

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  • It's all becoming clear!
    Occ health phoned my L&M today, she suggested CBT, he wasn't sure whether she meant Compulsory Bike Test or !!!! & Ball Torture, but actually she recommended Cognitive Behaviour Therapy!
    Unfortunately the waiting list is ridiculously long so Occ Health has suggested my L&M pays to go private!
    £45 -£100 per session, obviously my L&M's line manager is worried that work will be asked to pay as they have caused the problem, hence her desire to point the finger of blame in my direction!
    Chin up, Titus out.
  • Islandmaid
    Islandmaid Posts: 6,626 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    Hester - I,d like to show her where to poke her finger of blame x
    Note to self - STOP SPENDING MONEY !!

    £300/£130
  • Softstuff
    Softstuff Posts: 3,086 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Islandmaid, I'd like to show her where to put more than her finger. She's a nutter and a determined one at that.

    Ivyleaf, fingers crossed for your hysteroscopy.

    Lemon curd is also lovely on pavlova with raspberries, if there's any left after Greenbee and her spoon ;)

    Hugs to all xx
    Softstuff- Officially better than 007
  • monnagran
    monnagran Posts: 5,284 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Thanks Greenbee, I'll have a go. I love lemon curd and am hoping to put little jars in the mini hampers I am doing for people who live on their own. I'll have a practice run when I get back from Cornwall.

    Fuddle, thanks. I will have a go at yogurt as well. I love the Greek stuff with a dribble of honey for breakfast. It takes me back to eating breakfast n a cafe on a hillside, overlooking the sea on the island of Symi. Sheer bliss.

    Hester it strikes me that it's not the L&M that who needs therapy, it's the morons who couldn't organise a you-know-what in a brewery never mind a team of men trying to do a job of work.
    Next time they have bright ideas about expensive private treatments for stress I would be tempted to advise a course on man management and organisational skills for the idiots in charge.

    Ivy: it's a bit scary but what a relief to get things moving.

    Tablet about to run out of charge.

    Praying for a good nights sleep for you all. Except Mila and Softstuff of course who will be busy, busy, busy while we are slumbering.

    x
    I believe that friends are quiet angels
    Who lift us to our feet when our wings
    Have trouble remembering how to fly.
  • Softstuff
    Softstuff Posts: 3,086 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    monnagran wrote: »
    Praying for a good nights sleep for you all. Except Mila and Softstuff of course who will be busy, busy, busy while we are slumbering.

    x

    Count me out of the busyness. My tiler finished 10 minutes ago and given that while he has been here we've been getting up at 5am each day, I think I'm going back to bed. Tiling looks lovely, as do the bags under my eyes :rotfl:
    Softstuff- Officially better than 007
  • burtha
    burtha Posts: 903 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    Ivy , fingers crossed the camera will not be to bad ,but at least they seam to be doing it quick ,which is always good

    Monna , lemon curd is one of dh favourite things , he would put it on anything he could .....

    Hester , the woman sounds mad ...and desperate , may be the nail in her coffin if she carnt handle "this" one ....If it was me I would write everything down , names dates,who else was there ect, ... are you part of a union , don't know if that would be a help or a hindrance ,but may be a source of information .....otherwise
    at a loss as to what to say ....

    My day has been busy , day out with 2 teenage children lol, who despite pretending not to have fun with there ageing parents ,I am sure they had a good time :rotfl:
    Back home tea time for babysitting duties , till after she was bathed and bed , then dh replaced me so I could decorate the club for the kids party , wrap the gifts and 2 pass the parcels .... then seamed to do an hours therapy session I the bar .... so now still, wide awake , lots to do tomorrow ,shopping as soon as ,a few bits of stuff I forgot for the party , then a outfit to make ...All before 2 30 start ...hey ho .... can't even chill with a glass of something till late as after party will have dgd then football practice , maybe will if I am still babysitting when dh takes teenage kids to pictures ....
    Roll on tomorrow/ today
    At this rate will not need any makeup for the natural looking bags under my eyes ..lol
    £223/ £250 GC
  • Hester please don't even think of paying this yourself as they could use this as an admission of the stress being caused at home. As others have said document everything and where possible keep e-mails or CC someone in. I would also advise any interaction your L&M has is in front of a third party. I would also ask for another Occ health opinion. She sounds very biased. Could Your L&M go to his doctor to ask their opinion of CBT in this context. Situations like this make my blood boil.
  • silvasava
    silvasava Posts: 4,433 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Hester - not sure how CBT could help your L&M. His issues are as the result of someone else's behaviour not of his. I second Juliettet's advice too.
    Small victories - sometimes they are all you can hope for but sometimes they are all you need - be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
  • Silva, I think the assumption is that he needs to adjust his reaction to other people's behaviour.
    Personally I think if I'm working for someone who is an idiot no amount of CBT on my part is going to make them less of an idiot but if he tries then they can't keep blaming him for the situation they have put him in.
    Chin up, Titus out.
  • moneyistooshorttomention
    moneyistooshorttomention Posts: 17,940 Forumite
    edited 28 October 2016 at 1:11PM
    silvasava wrote: »
    Hester - not sure how CBT could help your L&M. His issues are as the result of someone else's behaviour not of his. I second Juliettet's advice too.

    I must say I was thinking that her suggesting CBT like this about equated to a comment I read one time about the women working in a boring/mundane/positively health hazardous job were "happy as larry" because they'd been prescribed tranquillizers:eek:.

    Personally - I'd rather have my mind and emotions fully under my own control and be able to see clearly just where the source of any negative emotions was (ie someone else's fault or "just one of those things" and to do with me).

    You don't adapt people to the job. You adapt the job to people.

    I strongly disagree with that particular modern day fashion in thinking that goes "It's not what is happening to you that's the problem - it's how you personally are reacting to it that is. So just change yourself". The number of times I've seen that particular piece of nonsense written somewhere in all seriousness in recent years is rather numerous - and I'd dearly like to give the idiot writing it a piece of my mind each time and ask them just how happy (or at least content) they personally would feel in the circumstances they are telling someone else to change their mindset about...
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