The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

greenbee

You might need to bring a kitchen Mar - mine isn't currently functioning But otherwise, if you do the dusting, I'm happy to provide puddings

nursemaggie

I can't give him a big cooked breakfast at 10.30am he just pointed out to me that to get to work for 11am he needs to be on the bus at 10.15am the bus does not stop outside. He will not eat puddings and cakes he is not a sweet tooth.

We went out to dinner on Friday night his first day off last week was my birthday celebration. He did not have a pudding there and there were about 20 different choices. We went to one of those Chinese buffets, was not very good all very greasy cheap takeaway stuff. Nothing like real Chinese food.

DS said he will take me to a carvery next year. It was very nice to go out though and have someone else pay for the meal.

greenbee

It sounds as if he's going to have to think about the structure of his day nursemaggie. If he can't eat straight after getting up, then he needs to think about how long it is before he CAN eat and get up in time to fit in a decent meal.

Moving his main meals to breakfast/lunch and having a light meal when he gets in will make it easier for him to get to bed before midnight, in which case he should be able to be up by 6.30/7am and therefore have over 3 hours in which to eat. If he's not prepared to work with you to adapt, then he'll have to eat what you can afford to give him.

CRANKY40

It might be easier if you said what he does like nursemaggie? Maybe there's other ways of making things that he likes? For instance sausage and pasta bake is good, but it would dry up in the oven. I would fry chopped up sausages with onion and mushrooms and add some sort of tomato based sauce. Cook the pasta separately and cool. When everything is cold, mix it it one bowl and leave it in the fridge. It can be reheated on the hob in a pan in minutes rather than have the oven on for hours. I've been know to do the same with spaghetti bolognese. It does it no harm to be reheated in a pan on the hob with the spaghetti already mixed in.

nursemaggie

We eat food from around the world and very rarely eat English food. I guess you are mostly older and after all I am not so old fashioned as DS says I am.

We are having quorn sausage pasta bake today. I don't do it with tomato sauce I make it with cheese sauce. I made a mistake while making the lasagna yesterday. I thought get the lasagna sheets out and went and got out the nice posh pasta we bought at Ald! a few weeks ago. After I had put it on to boil I realised what I had done so I left it to cook. I made the lasagna and then when I made the white sauce I did double put half the white sauce on the lasagna then added the cheese for the pasta bake. I never cool it just keep it on the heat while I add the vegetables, meat or fish. If you add Italian herbs and spices it needs baking to bring out all the flavours.

I think I know why my aunt cooked so much braising steak for my uncle. He had a heavy job got in at odd times and 1lb of braising steak and a mountain of mashed potato fills a man. She cooked carrots and onions with the steak and they mostly had over cooked cabbage with it.

DS was born not that long after the BSE scare so we did not eat beef for a long time. I guess he has been brought up on chicken. When we moved here it was by far the cheapest way to feed him and chicken has just got cheaper. I can now buy 5kg for £15 so why buy anything else. That lasts us a month. Sausages we like sausage egg and chips, or toad in the hole neither of which can be kept warm.

I think the best idea is to get him to call me when he knows what time he will get home. It's dependent on him getting the bus and not having to wait an hour or if he's lucky getting a lift.

Thanks for all of your help.

greenbee

nursemaggie wrote: »

We eat food from around the world and very rarely eat English food. I guess you are mostly older and after all I am not so old fashioned as DS says I am.

I find this quite insulting. Either that or you haven't read our posts.

We've made suggestions that have included a wide variety of foods (I'm not aware that tagine is English, nor lasagne), but it's been difficult with no indication from you as to what your DS does like - only telling us what he won't eat when we make suggestions. You said he was snacking on supermarket biscuits at work, but when we suggested homemade cakes and puddings told us he doesn't have a sweet tooth.

Several people have mentioned changing his eating habits so he eats his main meal earlier. And slow cooking/thermal bags have also been mentioned.

Asian foods are unlikely to have made it on to the list as they tend to need to be freshly made - although you could do stir-fry and just prep everything in advance. Belly pork slow cooks well and suits chinese flavours.

Curries are great for slow cooking and batch cooking and freezing, but rice needs to be treated with care.

Your son is very lucky that you are so considerate of his likes and dislikes, particularly given his unwillingness to adapt his routine and eating habits. My parents weren't so indulgent when I worked shifts, and now I have to fend for myself. And I don't live on mince and chicken breast either. I batch cook when I have time to ensure I have healthy food available when I don't have time to do more than shove something in the microwave/into a pan/into the oven. My freezer is full of a variety of dishes that mean when I get home from a work trips I can eat something healthy and delicious with little effort - thai vegetable curry, aubergine curry, pheasant ragu, a selection of soups, fish stew, seafood risotto, lasagne, vegetable lasagne, tomato-based sauce for pasta, chicken stock, lamb tagine, pork and mustard casserole, smoked mackerel, home-smoked trout, cooked chickpeas, bulghar wheat, freekeh, quinoa, millet, black beans, fagioli all'uccelleto, goats cheese, blue cheese, feta etc

BTW - I'm not older than you. In fact I'm not really old enough to have a son your DS's age, and happen to know some of the others on here aren't either. They've made suggestions based on your questions about the need for calories and to be able to prepare in advance. With more information we might be able to come up with something that meets your needs, but so far you've just told us why what we suggest won't work, not what might.

Nargleblast

It is very easy to have a regular routine when you are at home all day, e.g. get up at the same time, eat the same types of meals at the same times, go to bed at the same time. I assume nursemaggie worked shifts in her previous life so will understand that when you work shifts, normal eating regimes go out of the window.

I sometimes do 12 hour night shifts. I would prefer not to eat anything at midnight, but I have no choice, not if I want to survive till the end of the shift. I could not possibly go from 5.30 in the evening until 7.45 in the morning without food, so I have to choose foods that are not too heavy for middle of the night eating.

As greenbee says, the young man needs to adapt his routines for workdays, if he is not to make himself ill. I am sure nursemaggie knows all this, but it is the usual problem - how to feed the family proper, nutritious food on a tight budget, especially if a family member works odd hours.

greenbee

Nargleblast wrote: »

It is very easy to have a regular routine when you are at home all day, e.g. get up at the same time, eat the same types of meals at the same times, go to bed at the same time.

I may work from home, but I work different hours almost every day of the week as I support a global client base. These hours vary so I can't say that all Mondays are the same, all Tuesdays etc. Sometimes I don't know when I'm going to get a break between whenever I start and finish. That's why slow cooking/thermal bag cooking is a godsend. That way I can at least use a break to get something going. If I start at 4am I don't tend to want to eat - just a cup of coffee - so will prep my breakfast the night before so I can grab it when I have a chance. If i'm finishing late (anytime between 11pm and 2am) I try to make sure I've eaten well before then but like you often want a snack before bed - and a bit of time to wind down. I do try not to book a 4am start after a 2am finish, but there are times when the scheduling doesn't work... there is no way I could do this if I didn't work from home, obviously.

fuddle

Nursemaggie it's been a heck of a ride for a while eh? Your head must be spinning with stress and change.

One thing that might help is that men don't need to be consuming masses of high calorific foods to sustain a manual work life. Yes DH is in a management role but he's also pretty hands on at the moment and working 12 hour days. It is routine and not at all shift work but please allow me to go through a typical day of eating?

He takes milk, oats and honey for breakfast. For lunch he has leftovers from the meal the evening before, an afternoon snack of a banana and a meal when he gets in that is veg heavy with a little carbs and a little protein. For supper it will be crackers and cheese typically.

I know these suggestions won't fit with your DS's needs but hopefully an illustration that active working men don't need to be continually fuelled with expensive meals to get them through the day.

Have you talked to DS about what he thinks, what he would like and how he can help solve these problems i.e. snacks appropriate, is there a microwave, toaster at work etc.

Nursemaggie it's like everything. There will be a way, it's just finding it. I hope tge period of trial and error is minimal and that you can solve it soon within budget.

pollyanna_26

Just popping in to wish Softstuff , Nurse Maggie and Floss a great day tomorrow . I hope the sun shines for you and you enjoy the day - you may need the thermals !!!
My laptop was very unwell since last Tuesday afternoon - had to be closed down until a solution was found today . I have not read back yet so just hugs to any who need one .
Out early tomorrow so will catch up soon . Take care all x
polly