The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

fuddle

Monna I commend those staff for asking the questions again and 'ere's me thinking chuck. Would I trust someone else's say so in assessing your needs? No chance! I'd find out for myself because it's important in safeguarding you and it's important in safeguarding myself against mistakes and that of the trust I would work for.

A PM awaits your return monna.

LilySue anyone who has a moomin for an avatar is super cool please accept my belated welcome to the thread.

Floss

At the end of the day, if an adult has an income, they should contribute to the costs of whatever household they live in. They use water, fuel, food, and have a roof over their head after all.

moneyistooshorttomention

It would depend a bit on the circumstances imo as to what age an adult child started getting treated as A.N. Other Adult and charged more than the "extra costs" towards household costs. Maybe around 25 perhaps? That would give them time to go to university (if applicable), get established with a job or career hopefully and they would count as an adult in employers' eyes at any rate (ie having to be paid the full hourly rate).

I've told someone before now when I felt they werent paying enough to cover the "extra costs" of them still living at home and they saw my point and duly offered more to their parents. So I'm fair both ways:rotfl:

Personally - I wouldnt be treating an adult Child differently if I were in rented accommodation to what I would if I had a mortgage-free house (as neither circumstance would be to do with them personally iyswim). I also don't think its relevant to the Child how many other children their parent has (be it none or 20). Just as long as I wasnt any worse off because they were still living at home would be the aim and start charging them a bit more if they were still living there after what I felt was a reasonable "Leave Home" age.

nursemaggie

Money it is part of benefit law and it is not just adults. If a teenager gets a paper round or a part time job they have to contribute to the rent and council tax. They can end up having to pay more than they earn so I did not allow him to get a part time job while he was at collage because for every £1 he earned I would have lost two.

Apparently he has to pay just under £20 per week to cover his share of rent and council tax, even when he had no income at all. All I can say is Thank God he has got a job even if it is only a three month contract and for only 10 hours a week. Actually he is working more than full time because two departments are fighting over him and they both want him full time. If he had not got this job I would have had to pay it along with the £50 a week extra it costs to run these useless heaters.

Relevant act Regulation 11 / 13 of the Housing Benefit (Decisions and Appeals) Regulations 2001. They have to suspend your benefit every time your child has a birthday, if you go into hospital (that one was for 6 months even though I was only in hospital a week) If a man comes to your house. If someone malicious finds out you worked for an hour and earned a couple of quid.

This is the nightmare of being on benefits and your punishment for leaving a husband who beats you.

No one is a scrounger they would not put themselves through all this all the time you never know when it will happen. At least this authority is nice about it. In West Sussex I was treated like dirt. We moved all the way from a little place on the coast in West Sussex to a dirty depressed town in the North West because rents are cheaper here compared with the rest of the Country.

I would not move back the people are lovely. If you ask a stranger a question in a public place here, say at a bus stop you ask which bus you need, before you know it there will be 50 people telling you which bus is the best. On Easter Monday DS was at the Bus Station when this happened. Everyone makes you feel like they are family.

fuddle

Debating on the tough thread historically ends badly for the thread and the people who use it.

Seedlings, seedlings everywhere! I do love it although everytime something gets transferred to the plastic greenhouse something else gets it's place on the windowsills. I don't 'do' clutter :eek:

Well my change to wholemeal flour from refined white ended badly. It made my tum poorly again which, seeing as it has more of the grain, was always going to happen. So, I'm back stripping my diet right back again in order to get better. GQ I'm joining you on the primal way - Marks Daily Apple as my guide again.

I will have to bake for the family and not have anything, as I can't not bake. :eek: I am admitting to DH bringing in 50p tiger loaf from Lidl daily. I draw the line at baking bread and have it staring at me all day without eating it.

Crochet wise I'm still on with my orange cotton jumper but need more yarn and at a stand still with my blanket for the same reasons. We put down a deposit on a loch side cabin in North West Scotland for a week in the summer holidays so extras are not allowed this month. I'm getting round this by using up my old and never to be replaced stash of acrylic yarn to make up into a jumper. My fingers can't be idle. Having read elsewhere Mar fondling pure yarns it will be this I wear should I ever meet her. Repel. :D

mumps

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

It would depend a bit on the circumstances imo as to what age an adult child started getting treated as A.N. Other Adult and charged more than the "extra costs" towards household costs. Maybe around 25 perhaps? That would give them time to go to university (if applicable), get established with a job or career hopefully and they would count as an adult in employers' eyes at any rate (ie having to be paid the full hourly rate).

I've told someone before now when I felt they werent paying enough to cover the "extra costs" of them still living at home and they saw my point and duly offered more to their parents. So I'm fair both ways:rotfl:

Personally - I wouldnt be treating an adult Child differently if I were in rented accommodation to what I would if I had a mortgage-free house (as neither circumstance would be to do with them personally iyswim). I also don't think its relevant to the Child how many other children their parent has (be it none or 20). Just as long as I wasnt any worse off because they were still living at home would be the aim and start charging them a bit more if they were still living there after what I felt was a reasonable "Leave Home" age.

Gosh, I think I was an adult long before 25. By then I had two kids at school and had sold one house and moved into a bigger house where we planned to stay till the kids were grown up. I think 18 is a bit young, maybe the old 21?

mumps

nursemaggie wrote: »

Money it is part of benefit law and it is not just adults. If a teenager gets a paper round or a part time job they have to contribute to the rent and council tax. They can end up having to pay more than they earn so I did not allow him to get a part time job while he was at collage because for every £1 he earned I would have lost two.

Apparently he has to pay just under £20 per week to cover his share of rent and council tax, even when he had no income at all. All I can say is Thank God he has got a job even if it is only a three month contract and for only 10 hours a week. Actually he is working more than full time because two departments are fighting over him and they both want him full time. If he had not got this job I would have had to pay it along with the £50 a week extra it costs to run these useless heaters.

Relevant act Regulation 11 / 13 of the Housing Benefit (Decisions and Appeals) Regulations 2001. They have to suspend your benefit every time your child has a birthday, if you go into hospital (that one was for 6 months even though I was only in hospital a week) If a man comes to your house. If someone malicious finds out you worked for an hour and earned a couple of quid.

This is the nightmare of being on benefits and your punishment for leaving a husband who beats you.

No one is a scrounger they would not put themselves through all this all the time you never know when it will happen. At least this authority is nice about it. In West Sussex I was treated like dirt. We moved all the way from a little place on the coast in West Sussex to a dirty depressed town in the North West because rents are cheaper here compared with the rest of the Country.

I would not move back the people are lovely. If you ask a stranger a question in a public place here, say at a bus stop you ask which bus you need, before you know it there will be 50 people telling you which bus is the best. On Easter Monday DS was at the Bus Station when this happened. Everyone makes you feel like they are family.

£20 seems reasonable if he is working but how on earth is he supposed to pay it if he has no work? That doesn't make any sense to me.

Sounds like he should have a good chance of a permanent job if they are fighting for him. Is that on the cards? Would be great if he got full-time permanent. I'm sorry haven't read all your posts so not sure how old he is, I get a feeling it is his first job but I might have that wrong. Anyway fingers crossed for him.

nursemaggie

Thanks Nargleblast for your compliment. We are very proud of the way we have managed.

I hope you realise now why there are so many young people who are homeless. Two of us have been living on a single persons pension for nearly two years. I could have made it easier for myself by throwing him out. I've had to pay what the law says he has to pay for out of no income. We have not got any debts. Thanks to this thread and others we have been able to live on very little.

All of DS's friend who still live at home pay nothing for their keep. He is disgusted. He has actually said if you don't pay towards your keep how do you know how to look after yourself when you leave home. He is shocked how many young men have never done any cleaning or cooking.

I am seriously worried he will never be able to save up to leave home because he cannot save up a deposit to get a flat. The funny thing is all these young people living for free at home are not saving. You need around £3000 just to move into a rented place. Then you need money for the essentials.

[Deleted User]

FUDDLE you're not alone with a house full of tiny seedlings, every windowsill at the back of the house is awash with pots of tiny plants and pots in plastic bag overcoats waiting to be awash with tiny plants too. The peas in the polytunnel are beginning to grow up the nets and there are climbing French beans growing on to replace the first lot of peas when they are over. We have the new parsley and the first courgette planted out in the polytunnel and we've decided to abandon the autumn sown broad bean plants as it's not so much a sorry sight as a disaster area, they look so ragged and sad they're never going to make it! Still harvesting parsnips and have still got some leeks left in the garden but they're beginning to go up to seed. Today it feels like spring, I got so hot walking Cookie I had to change into a short sleeved top when I got back.....LOVE IT!!!

monnagran

Nursemaggie: I don't know about anyone else but if I were 60 years younger I would be travelling northwards tomorrow to sweep your DS off his feet and pursue him relentlessly. What a catch! And well done you for bringing up such a well balanced young man.

Tell him to watch out for a wrinkled old crone with dubious morals!

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