The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

ivyleaf

Wishing good luck to your Ds with his job application nursemaggie

monnagran

Lovely replies. I realise that life is very different now but most people on this forum seem to be in agreement that money does not make for a happier family life, although I suspect that enough of the folding stuff makes things a lot easier.

I also stayed at home to bring up my boys. As I adopted them I felt that I owed it to them and to myself to enjoy motherhood and family life as much as possible. We lived in a very affluent area and were quite obviously the misfits whose children (and their mother) wore other peoples' cast offs and who didn't have the latest toys and gizmos. But guess whose house every other child in the neighbourhood wanted to go to. And guess who had Mothering Sunday cards from all sorts of children who weren't hers.

Yes life was hard and I did worry sometimes that my children were missing out a bit. However, my DS2, if asked, will tell anyone that he had " a magical childhood." Not so much DS1, but I use to tell him that the inscription on his tombstone would almost certainly be, " It isn't fair!"

Having said all that, I'm glad that I made the choice I did and the experience stood me in good stead when i became a single mum who had been right royally fleeced by her ex. Making a penny do the work of two was a way of life by that time.

x

[Deleted User]

Don't let the rest of the world including relations throw you off stride for even a millisecond MANCBIRD, it's your life, it's your time, it's your choice and no one no matter how good intentioned has the right to tell you otherwise. Friends understood our choices, they didn't have to approve, family less so but no one ever told me we were wrong to do what we did. My In Laws used to 'explain me' to their friends and relatives, I was paraded before them like a circus freak show with the 'this is poor Lyn' speech and felt like a two headed giraffe but one of He Who Knows cousins said to me one day ' How I envy you the courage to follow your own path, I'd never be able to, they wouldn't let me'. Like Martin Luther King I HAD A DREAM and my dear old He Who Knows dreamed it with me, we've lived it for years and are still living it today, it makes for the utmost satisfaction and not a single regret. We are singularly fortunate folks and feel blessed, totally blessed!!!

nursemaggie

Thanks Ivy I do hope he gets this one.

Softstuff

Good luck to your DS Nurse Maggie, hope he gets in.

As regards doctors doing it for the money, I don't believe they are, if you look at a junior doctors salary and working hours, they earn less per hour than my half sister will in a call centre in her new job. And nobody's life is in her hands.

http://www.businessinsider.com.au/junior-doctors-strike-reasons-and-interview-2016-1/?r=US&IR=T

I think if you head into a profession where your responsibilities are so weighty and your hours so long, it has to be a vocation and I'm convinced it still is for many doctors. Compare a doctors earnings (even a senior one) to a banker, someone in mergers and acquisitions, an IT consultant, and doctors don't come out well. And the other jobs don't take as much further education (which also used to be free, but now has to be paid for).

silvasava

I've thought for many years now that respect for employees of any sort has deteriorated ever since personnel departments became human resources, often treating people as commodities.

Floss

I know that at work my employers support our JDs through study leave, CPD etc, and our commissioning arrangements do not require weekend work from them, nor are we an acute trust, so ours are slightly better off than some.

mancbird

MrsLurcherwalker wrote: »

Don't let the rest of the world including relations throw you off stride for even a millisecond MANCBIRD, it's your life, it's your time, it's your choice and no one no matter how good intentioned has the right to tell you otherwise. Friends understood our choices, they didn't have to approve, family less so but no one ever told me we were wrong to do what we did. My In Laws used to 'explain me' to their friends and relatives, I was paraded before them like a circus freak show with the 'this is poor Lyn' speech and felt like a two headed giraffe but one of He Who Knows cousins said to me one day ' How I envy you the courage to follow your own path, I'd never be able to, they wouldn't let me'. Like Martin Luther King I HAD A DREAM and my dear old He Who Knows dreamed it with me, we've lived it for years and are still living it today, it makes for the utmost satisfaction and not a single regret. We are singularly fortunate folks and feel blessed, totally blessed!!!

I love this Luckily I'm past the point of really caring what other people think about this

My sister had her baby before I did and went back to work when her baby was 5 months old, putting her in nursery 12 hours a day. I didn't want to do this but because she had done so, it was expected that I would do the same. It was hard explaining to family my reasons for not wanting to do that without looking like I was criticising her and they struggled to understand why I didn't want to do the same

I think they have given up now tbh. My dad makes a joke of how I'm the rebel because I do what I want. I'm not in any way a rebel, I just do what I think is right for my family and me

mancbird

Wishing your DS lots of luck nursemaggie

mardatha

I call MrsL MrsL because the only other Lynn I know is a horror.
Re Mardatha... mardy isnt a word up here, we don't use it - so I didn't know it meant something not nice. And I was trying to use "Ardatha" who was a character in a book I liked, but somehow the M jumped in there. My name is Mary but I hate it so don't call me it!