The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

Softstuff

My best friend describes me to new people as a dark horse a bit out of left field. Apparently at first sight I come across as a normal middle aged woman. Then after a few conversations they see a bit more of me, and I'm not quite as normal. It used to bother me, being different. I think now though I'm resigned to it. Fitting in and behaving normally takes such a lot of energy and effort that I'd rather put to other uses.

Ginnyknit, very glad your DS didn't just roll over and take it. Principles can sometimes be expensive, but that's because they're the most precious thing we have.

Got a quote for the retaining walls out back.... :eek:

greenbee

Ginnyknit - your DS has done the right thing doing what he believes in. I hope he has a reasonable redundancy package. I've been made redundant twice now, and although the uncertainty was worrying, both times it has made me rethink what I can do, and led on to something different and better (well, mostly better... there are bad days in all jobs). The 'acting up' experience should be valuable. Hopefully he has some time to work on his CV and research options.

Softstuff - this 'buy a house to do up' thing isn't all it's cracked up to be is it? I can't even face getting quotes at the moment

Softstuff

greenbee wrote: »

Softstuff - this 'buy a house to do up' thing isn't all it's cracked up to be is it? I can't even face getting quotes at the moment

It's swings and roundabouts. The things I can do myself tend to work out more cheaply than I imagine, or if there's something I need to get, a few days (and I'm not kidding I do it for hours at a time) googling can find me the same thing at less than half the price. However, getting people to do things I can't or aren't allowed to, that's scary.

Going to focus on finishing my chair today though and try not to think about it too much (old tub chair from charity shop, painted in shabby style, reupholstered in linen also fro m charity shop).

moneyistooshorttomention

Softstuff wrote: »

Ginnyknit, very glad your DS didn't just roll over and take it. Principles can sometimes be expensive, but that's because they're the most precious thing we have.

Think that's my quote for the day basically.:T

I've certainly found principles have cost me - more than once - during the course of my worklife (jobs I would otherwise have got/a job I got "made redundant" from). Overall - I've sat down sometimes and tried to work out in good hard cash terms exactly how much they have cost me literally. It was worrying to see the effect those principles were having on my finances sometimes in the short term (being single meant mine was the only salary coming into the household to pay all the bills and, latterly, the mortgage with).

As far as I can figure out - I don't think I made a loss overall across the whole of my working lifetime because of standing by my principles. In fact being a stubborn wotname generally has certainly caused me to lose some battles - but I think I might have won the War overall. Being a stubborn wotname has caused me to "stick to it" in various respects that a weaker person wouldn't have done and I think I probably gained on the "swings" what I lost on the "roundabouts" and I think I probably haven't lost out financially overall (even if I did in the short-term sometimes). I do often look back and shudder at the thought of just what my life would have been like if I'd been a weaker person (and its not good - I would have been one heck of a sight worse off/had a LOT worse health/etc).

mardatha

Ginny pity the rest of the workforce hadn't all said the same thing eh? and forced the boss-who-could-only-spare-ten-mins-of-his-valuable-time to find & train a new workforce.

fuddle

Too many are just relieved to have a job come what may. We didn't have to move back north when redundancy hit DH. He was offered a position driving around the South but it would be less money and hotel stays for him mon-fri most probably as we lived near the depot that was soon to not be there. We never really faced DH losing his job but with the lower income we couldn't afford private renting in the South.

The next bit is surreal. When DH explained that he couldn't afford to live in the South they were able to offer him the position of heading up a new depot in Durham of all places. So he keeps his salary and rents are cheaper. We live in a place I've always wanted to live and finally after paying all the South bills to close accounts we are finally able to feel contentment and somewhat secure. I'm home. That's secure in itself. Took a lot to wotk that out though!

So moral of the story is redundancy shakes worlds and strips confidence but something will most probably turn out for the better in ways we just don't see coming.

fuddle

I've an appointment booked with a very tough head teacher re: SATs teaching next week. She would like to explain the teachings in more detail so I can understand the process. Ho Hum. I know of her reputation but she doesn't know me. She will because this shy lass is no more when my kids are concerned... and I will be telling her that I have experience of working under 'triple Ofsted outstanding' head for nearly a decade and have seen that excellent SATs results can be acheived by a very different approach. Oh gawd. I could do without this.

Floss

Oh Fuddle, how lucky your DH was with his new job, and your new home. Hope your meeting goes the way you want.

silvasava

Gird your loins Fuddle - beware we are all armed and completely dangerous and we've got your back!

Softstuff

Pitchfork at the ready, standing right behind you Fuddle.

Broke a toe, again, the other day. I used to have long elegant looking toes that I could pick things up with. Now they're shorter, knobbly and half of them can barely wiggle. Ho well.

Chair's coming on well though.