The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

lillibet_dripping

Thanks guys! I've calmed down a bit now. Have spoken to my sister (three hours drive South!) and she agreed that we have got to the point where we have to present the pair of them with a 'fait acompli'.
Soooooooo, I called mum and said that, after speaking to the restaurant/hotel, we had cancelled our Christmas get-together.
I have also said that I will pick her up at 13.00 tomorrow to go to the hospital.
Dad has been transferred to the Acute Medical Unit and had an ECG and obs done but we won't know more until the consultant does his round tomorrow morning.
On the 'phone to mum, I got very short shrift - one word answers and a very huffy 'goodbye' - oh well, can't help that.
Thanks again for your support - ooooo, I was SO cross earlier!

[Deleted User]

Well done LILLIBET, your parents will never admit it to you but despite them being grumpy and ungracious about the whole thing I think somewhere inside they'll both be very grateful to you and your sister for taking the initiative and making their lives not only easier for them but safer too. It's a good deed you've done there petal, you're good daughters and the parents WILL forgive you eventually! xxx.

Floss

Lillibet well done on the fait accompli. Late FiL only accepted he couldn't drive after his stroke in June after the consultant told him the hospital had contacted the DVLA and appraised them of his medical condition

Softstuff

So, it looks like plans are moving on apace to our New New Year. I bought a bottle of sparkly wine and a bottle of white yesterday (both reduced, 2 quid for a nec bottle of wolf blass sparkly). With that, Iveleafs Prosecco and Shanks77s booze haul, I think drinks are sorted (I have plenty of tea for non boozers). We might be a little short on food yet, curiously enough like Ivyleaf, I also have leftover shortbread. And a packet of mixed nuts.

Space isn't in short supply here, though it's all undecorated, we have spare space and a big covered patio. Only 1 loo though... but a huge forest behind if you get desperate.

Think I'm coming to terms with things now. It just hurts. So I'm working twice as hard on renos just to make it stop.

Lillibet Dripping, well done on the parent wrangling, sometimes just giving them a bit of a shive is in their best interest. My grandad at over 80 was put in a geriatric ward when he was sick once, with people much younger than him. He said "What the hell have they put me in here with all these old !!!!!!s for???".

camelot1001

Well done on taking a stand lillibet, why are old parents so stubborn? I hope they, and you, are ok.

Softstuff - I'll bring the gin, I quite like a G&T so the world and his wife now bring me bottles of gin from holidays, as a thank you, for christmas ..........! I also have some crisps left from the festive holidays.

Just one child today after school, he managed to make me feel sorry for him - he'd had a nosebleed at school earlier - so I picked him up on my way home instead of him getting the bus. My friend is still at the hospital, been there since Saturday just waiting.

Knit_Witch

I can provide mincemeat muffins and Channel Island milk for the tea :beer:

meanmarie

Oh dear! I find nothing attractive about getting older......im only 70 !!!!!!, the thing that I find most difficult to accept gracefully is the way my very loving children treat me........can you manage that Marie, I'll do it, theres no need for you to drive to Cork, get the train and we will collect you, go and sit down , I'll do the dinner. All this I welcomed before I had my hip replacement, but why can't they realise that I am now brand new???
Lillibet, I know that your situation is different, and that you and your sister are acting with love, but it is very hard for those of us moving into God's waiting room to accept the move, all will sort itself eventually, so try to be patient!

Bet none of you envy my offspring when I become unable to drive etc

Love to all

Marie.

nursemaggie

If someone in the family had said to me "come and stay with us and we will do the move for you."

You would not have seen me for dust. Trouble is Monna it is my family that think I am still 35 even though the older two are older than that. I can't wait for them to offer help but I don't think it will ever come.

Floss

Marie, you're ahead of my late in-laws, you accept that you will be one day en route to that waiting room. They on the other hand had no thought of it whatsoever, and no thought given to any possibility that they may be unable to look after themselves which led to several refusals of minimal help in the home despite their gp insisting that they needed it. I appreciate that they were of the "we'll manage" generation but their later years could have been so much easier for them if they had accepted the assistance they were entitled to.

greenbee

Softstuff wrote: »

Space isn't in short supply here, though it's all undecorated, we have spare space and a big covered patio. Only 1 loo though... but a huge forest behind if you get desperate.

I've just finished work for the day - with a client in Australia, who was telling me about the kind of wildlife you have in your forests. I'd have to be VERY desperate to take advantage of your offer...

On the plus side, I have a couple of bottles of prosecco, quite a bit of gin (not much tonic though) and some red wine.

Also some leftover mince pies in the freezer and a few sausage rolls as well as the remains of the ham.