The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

monnagran

Softstuff: you poor darling. Just when you think things can't get any worse life shows you that it jolly well can and will.
And now, while you are dealing with your own grief and bewilderment, you have to put it aside to support your friend. You will do that brilliantly because you are such a warm and loving person.
You are in the right place here, as much as you are loving and comforting your friend you know that we are all here for you. Let it all out here and experience the warm wave of love and hugs coming in your direction.
Sorry if this doesn't make much sense, it is the middle of the night here.

And I thought that 2016 couldn't be worse than last year.
Chin up chicken.

x

camelot1001

Softstuff, my heart goes out to you. You have done all you can for the fluffy little chap, first by giving him a loving home, second by seeking help and third by knowing when to let him have professional help. It must be heartbreaking.
Your loving heart has welcomed your best friends niece into your home, you are a truly special person.

fuddle - how frustrating for you, someone is in the wrong and they aren't going to admit it. Hope you get sorted soon.

Got the 2 spare bedrooms sorted last night by accident! My friend's mother is receiving palliative care in hospital, her OH has to go to work, make hospital visits and generally keep the house running, friend spending more and more time with her mum. Anyway, I have been watching their children on and off over the past week and thought they may need to stay here the night (which I was quite looking forward to). The mum has rallied round so her OH came home, best if the children sleep in their own house.

So I have freshly made beds if they do need to come, will be taking them to school today. Such a sad time for the family.

lillibet_dripping

Oh golly - so much sadness around again.
Softstuff - my heart goes out to you. You did your best for the little man and made a very brave decision.
fuddle - do you still have anything from maternity appointments/clinics? That should show your NHS number.
Monna - what on earth are you doing awake at that hour?

Popping up the A14 to visit the olds today. Dad, despite a triple bypass operation two years ago, has become very breathless again. He went for a chest X-ray yesterday. I rang last night to see how he'd got on and got 'yes, fine thankyou'. I'm going to see for myself today!!

silvasava

Just sending huge hugs to all who need them. Feel a bit useless as I can't do anything practical to help any of you but send love and wishing you strength for the hardtimes you are experiencing xx

[Deleted User]

SOFTSTUFF it must indeed be heart breaking to have to let the pup leave your lives. You don't know and never will if his behaviour is the result of bad breeding, bad handling or just an aggressive personality in an Alpha dog but one thing is certain, you are NOT the cause of any of it. You and your DOH gave the pup a chance where many folks would have said no. If the trainer can't fix him there's no way you could have lovey or anyone else and he'd have become more and more of a danger to you and everyone else if his aggressive behaviour continued to grow and he had become unmanageable and dangerous. It's unfortunate that now and then you do get a rogue personality in a dog, I have a friend in the village who got a husky pup so sweet and cuddly but as he grew to adulthood he became very hostile to first her husband who wasn't allowed into the room she was in and then the children who were aggressively seen off as they tried to have contact with Mum. It got so difficult that they contacted a husky expert who said he'd assess the dog and when he looked at the dogs pedigree he said that the breeding on both his Dams and Sires side had produced the ultimate Alpha Dog and that he'd never make a pet in a domestic setting as he HAD to be top dog in the pack. The pup went on to be the best lead dog in one of his teams that he'd ever had because it was so dominant. Nothing you have or could do will have made any difference to pups nature. Chin up love, the hurt will dull and you definitely have done the right thing.

ivyleaf

lillibet Sounds like a typical Dad, not wanting to worry you! Thinking of you specially today x

camelot What a kind thing to do for your friend :A

Softstuff What a shame, no wonder you're so upset! but you are doing the right thing as even the trainer is finding him a challenge, and there will be the right dog for you coming along later when you feel ready. How kind of you to help with your friend's daughter at such a difficult time for her ((HUGS))

Monnagran I hope you got some sleep in the end! Do you have that annoying thing whereby you drop off all right but then wake up later? xx

We're collecting DGS from after-school club later. Looking forward to seeing him, first time since Christmas come to think of it! Not sure what else is happening today. No doubt there will be washing to do at some point!

Just been watching a segment on BBC Breakfast showing people who'd come to lay flowers at a mural of David Bowie. Being old enough to have bought "Space Oddity", it was very poignant to see people of all ages, from my age group down to teenagers. What a huge influence he has had on music.

mardatha

Has anybody seen this place or been there? I would LOVE to go there.. I need a map lol
https://1940sexperiment.wordpress.com/2015/12/13/the-blitz-wartime-tea-room-hebden-bridge/

fuddle

Aw it might have been flooded Mar. Hebden Bridge was one of the places caught up in the rains over Christmas.

Good news. I called the Dorset practise manager to make her aware of my struggles. I now have all our numbers, an apology, agreement that my request should never have been denied over the phone and that she will have a chat to the receptionist to work out the thinking behind the refusal. At least it's over with.

Now going to knit and watch TV all day. I'm having a day off!

monnagran

FUDDLE: Thank goodness for that. What an unnecessary kerfuffle over what should have been a routine procedure. Enjoy your knitting day, I will possibly join you as I am pushing on with ballet cardigans. Pity we aren't nearer we could have had a cosy, gossipy day together.

Lillibet & ivyleaf: yes, I usually sleep for 2 or 3 hours, wake up and read for 2 or3 hours and then go back to sleep. It doesn't bother me as I don't have to get up for work any more. YAY!

No use to you Mar, but there is a similar tea shop in east Cowes on the Isle of Wight.

The Sun is shining here and although the chill is setting in it is DRY.
So it is a quick bracing walk and, as mentioned before, a cosy day in the rocking chair with my knitting.

Oh, it's so lovely to feel alive again.

X

nursemaggie

By tea time will have been here a whole week. It only feels like a few days. Must try to get some stuff to a charity shop and need to get rid of all these boxes.

So glad everything is sorted fuddle I admire your determination. That is two of us sorted and we can now concentrate on those who need us. Enjoy your day off.

Softstuff Knowing there was nothing you could do does not help your feelings I know, it was not meant to be. Concentrate on your friends daughter. Having the opportunity to help someone else may be just what you need right now.

Monna I hope being up at three in the morning is not a regular thing we are all still holding you up. Your post made sense to me.

lillibet dripping Will be thinking of you. When our parents get old they can be as worrisome as children. As an Older parent I worry about the amount of worry I give to DS being so young.

He has had to put up with, me collapsing and being rushed off to hospital the day after he finished exams as college, no money for food while I was in hospital, the refusal of his older brother to help, my cancer diagnosis, two forced moves and being aware I was not really coping with it all. It's a lot to take when he is not yet 22.

I am sure you will cope with whatever it is but your dad will not have had the result yet. It could be another week yet. Remember they are trying to protect you from the worry too.