No More Chardonnay for me! My booze-free Diary

Dansmam

Hey chardonnay, massive hug, I could have written that.Like honey bear says its like being given a new LIFE. How great is that x

Dansmam

Crossposted, seem to be doing that a lot today...

Honey_Bear

Chardonnay wrote: »

Your post has helped me so much and I actually have a smile on my face because it's hit me that we now have freedom! Freedom to do what we want to do, to not live our lives around alcohol. I know it's early days for me yet (Day 22) but just pottering around this morning, doing little jobs, I found myself singing to myself. If I'd have still been drinking I'd have been languishing in bed feeling sorry for myself!

"It's like being given time" - what a great way to look at it! I guess the old brainwashing will be hard to break but every day we don't drink, it is gradually being reversed. Hope you had a nice time last night and have a lovely Sunday lunch today! Off out for a walk by the river and coffee and cake! :cool:

I don't want to sound braggy, and to be honest I don't keep count now but I know exactly how to count the days when I want to, like last night when I particularly wanted to post about the 'being given time' issue.


It is a completely new freedom and that's such a brilliant way of putting it, Chardonnay, and it feels like riches to me, as well. I had an okayish life while I was drinking and now I have a life full of the riches of time - and how often as we get older do we realise we haven't got enough of that!


OH tied on one good and proper last night - I left him in the pub with our friends, and came home because the evening had got to the point where I had nothing left to offer. Lovely people, but !!!!!! and therefore not particularly interesting company for sober me. They didn't and don't mind, and one of them actually asked what it was like being sober when everyone else was drunk - fine, I said, because none of them appeared to be but I realised they probably were after the number of empty bottles at the table. I left about half an hour later, though!


I stayed awake until he finally rolled in over two hours later, very, very drunk, as in falling over, but he's a happy drunk (unlike me - I had a nasty habit of getting ... nasty) and I just wanted to know he was safe and dose him up with ibuprofen before he went to sleep. That achieved, we both know he's going to be feeling pretty grotty today and I'm not. And that's his choice, so it's fine. He drinks about one third of the amount he used to when I kept him company and he was with people whose company he really, really enjoys, so getting twitchy with him would be plain silly.


I've made tea, cleared something up that's been annoying me, made coffee, fed my blackbirds, robins and wagtails, been to our excellent corner shop and picked up whoopsied cream and crème fraiche, run the dishwasher, sorted out a semi-blocked drain (oh the glamour!), finished deciding on a dessert for six this afternoon and am about to make us bacon sandwiches for breakfast in bed. He's taken two paracetemol and is snoozing. I know which life I prefer!


And I really, really enjoyed everyone's company last night, with the humungous bonus of being on the receiving end of some exceptionally thoughtful, kind and generous service in one of my favourite restaurants.


This is so, so worthwhile, so when things conspire against you and you think a glass of wine sounds like a good idea, please remember that life without it, for some of us, really is more enjoyable. Hang on in there.

MarylandCookie_2

What a fabulous post HB, and just the way I want my Sunday mornings to be. I managed a works do Friday and drove, and really enjoyed myself. I did have a glass of wine with lunch yesterday, but stopped at one and although perused the cocktail menu for a wine went for a mock tail, which was lovely, and then I wished I'd not had the wine.

Have a great Sunday all x

Chardonnay

Dansmam wrote: »

Hey chardonnay, massive hug, I could have written that.Like honey bear says its like being given a new LIFE. How great is that x

Sending a big hug back to you Dansmam. That is so true - I am actually finding this exciting now!

Thanks for your support!

Chardonnay

Honey_Bear wrote: »

I don't want to sound braggy, and to be honest I don't keep count now but I know exactly how to count the days when I want to, like last night when I particularly wanted to post about the 'being given time' issue.


It is a completely new freedom and that's such a brilliant way of putting it, Chardonnay, and it feels like riches to me, as well. I had an okayish life while I was drinking and now I have a life full of the riches of time - and how often as we get older do we realise we haven't got enough of that!


OH tied on one good and proper last night - I left him in the pub with our friends, and came home because the evening had got to the point where I had nothing left to offer. Lovely people, but !!!!!! and therefore not particularly interesting company for sober me. They didn't and don't mind, and one of them actually asked what it was like being sober when everyone else was drunk - fine, I said, because none of them appeared to be but I realised they probably were after the number of empty bottles at the table. I left about half an hour later, though!


I stayed awake until he finally rolled in over two hours later, very, very drunk, as in falling over, but he's a happy drunk (unlike me - I had a nasty habit of getting ... nasty) and I just wanted to know he was safe and dose him up with ibuprofen before he went to sleep. That achieved, we both know he's going to be feeling pretty grotty today and I'm not. And that's his choice, so it's fine. He drinks about one third of the amount he used to when I kept him company and he was with people whose company he really, really enjoys, so getting twitchy with him would be plain silly.


I've made tea, cleared something up that's been annoying me, made coffee, fed my blackbirds, robins and wagtails, been to our excellent corner shop and picked up whoopsied cream and crème fraiche, run the dishwasher, sorted out a semi-blocked drain (oh the glamour!), finished deciding on a dessert for six this afternoon and am about to make us bacon sandwiches for breakfast in bed. He's taken two paracetemol and is snoozing. I know which life I prefer!


And I really, really enjoyed everyone's company last night, with the humungous bonus of being on the receiving end of some exceptionally thoughtful, kind and generous service in one of my favourite restaurants.


This is so, so worthwhile, so when things conspire against you and you think a glass of wine sounds like a good idea, please remember that life without it, for some of us, really is more enjoyable. Hang on in there.

Not braggy at all HB! If you can't talk about it here, where can you talk about it?!

It's so true about feeling free. You start to realise just how much time you've wasted living your life around alcohol and its effects!

I haven't had the experience of being around !!!!!! people yet but that will be coming up soon I think. I actually don't feel worried about it now. I think it will be more interesting to see what I used to look like. Saying that, I don't want to sound like I'm holier than thou and judging people as that's the last thing I want to do. It will just be a new experience for me as usually I would be one of those !!!!!! people!

It sounds like you are great with OH. We do have to realise that these are our decisions and just because we've decided that it's the right path for us, doesn't mean that other people will decide that for themselves. I hope your OH didn't feel too rough today. We've all been there! I used to be more of a soppy drunk - telling everyone that I loved them etc - embarrassing!

It sounds like you had a lovely productive weekend. Feeding the birds and pottering around - lovely and peaceful (apart from unblocking the drain! )! Peace was something I didn't find a lot when I drank. Well I did while drinking, but it was an artificial peace and the next day I would feel far from peaceful!

Lovely to hear that you enjoyed last night so much! Your posts are always so inspiring to me! At the moment I don't even feel tempted to drink but taking it one day at a time and trying not to get complacent

Chardonnay

MarylandCookie wrote: »

What a fabulous post HB, and just the way I want my Sunday mornings to be. I managed a works do Friday and drove, and really enjoyed myself. I did have a glass of wine with lunch yesterday, but stopped at one and although perused the cocktail menu for a wine went for a mock tail, which was lovely, and then I wished I'd not had the wine.

Have a great Sunday all x

Well done on driving to your works do and really enjoying yourself MC - that's really good to hear! Also for having just the one glass of wine with lunch - that's true moderation! I'm going to a cocktail evening soon. That's going to be.....interesting! :eek: I'm planning on trying some mocktails too though

Chardonnay

Day 23 and still feeling really good! The Allen Carr book is really starting to resonate with me now. I'm about halfway through. It's making me feel really good about not drinking and that I'm not missing anything at all. I think I might be on this pink cloud thing that people talk about at the moment. I hope it lasts but I do know that every day might not feel so good. I am still just trying to take it one day at a time. I haven't had any real "tests" yet. My first one will be in just under 3 weeks time but at the moment I feel really good about it and don't have any thoughts about drinking at all.

I've been thinking about things that I would like to achieve during these 100 days (and am hoping deep down that I never drink again but not doing that to my brain at the mo as it might frighten it! )

Meditation is one thing that I've wanted to do for ages and had half hearted attempts at it but never really committed to it. I've downloaded an app called Headspace which has guided meditation and seems really good. There are 10 x 10 minute free meditations and I've done day 2 this morning. I have found it a lot easier than trying to do it from a book. You do have to subscribe after day 10 if you want to continue but it's not too expensive and I figure it will help me a lot with not drinking, where I will be saving a lot of money, not to mention improving my health (and mental health!). So definitely could be worth investing in! I will decide once I get to day 10.

I would also really like to push on with my running. I am now running 5k twice a week and a short run on the other day, and gradually getting a little faster. Drinking used to really drag me down physically and affected my running so I want to take this opportunity to push myself and see what I can achieve.

I will chart my progress here. Have a great Monday all!

Honey_Bear

Chardonnay, do whatever it takes to make you feel good! Meditation, reading, running, all of them are time and effort invested in yourself. Speaking from experience, the fear of taking the first sip gradually lessens until the point comes where taking it is a no-brainer because the quality of life without booze is so much better.

I get more done on bad day now than I did in a week when I was drinking. It feels lovely!

It felt a teensy bit lonely on the Giving up / Cutting down thread when I was the only person stopping completely so your decision to give this a go is a real morale booster for me. And as always, I'm very conscious that there will be people who will be considering stopping who need to know that it's possible, has positive connotations and relatively straightforward before they make the commitment.

You're doing brilliantly!

MarylandCookie_2

Hi Chardonny, thanks for the encouragement - I really enjoyed my mock tail on Saturday, it was a mojito less - very yummy!

Your doing really well and seem really focused. I know what you mean about running, I did a bit last year and got up to 10/12k, and would like to start again. We should do it and cheer each other on!

Happy Monday night everyone :0) xxx