No More Chardonnay for me! My booze-free Diary

Chardonnay

Maryland_Cookie wrote: »

Well done Chardonnay, gosh I could've written your post. I love a drink, but when I'm out socially I can't moderate, can't say no and not have an off switch. I did dry January, then fell off the wagon beginning of Feb, which made me feel so poorly I've not had a drink since.

I know how you feel about looking to the future and worrying, I'm the same, but am taking it one day at a time. I also read a lot of sober blogs wgich helps me. I''ve had a weekend without the booze, had a couple of social bits and bobs but feel ok. It's lovely to wake up at the weekend and feel good to go not hanging my head in shame. Keep posting, we can cheer eat other on x

Hello! Lovely to see you. Interesting that you are are the same with drinking. Sometimes it takes a really bad night to give us the kick that we need to do something about our drinking. I had a similar night a year ago, when I felt ill for a week, and it was that night that made me realise I needed to do something about my drinking (I've stopped and started a few times but this is the first time I am really committing myself). Well done for not drinking since the beginning of Feb - you must be coming up to a month now?

Yes you are so right about taking it one day at time. Hard to do sometimes but it definitely helps. I just try to think now "I won't drink today" and leave it that. Sober blogs have really helped me too. Realising how many people are in the same boat with the same thought processes makes you feel not so alone. And reading about how peoples lives have improved, not diminished from not drinking alcohol really gives me hope for the future.

Well done for not drinking at the weekend at your social occasions. I agree, it is a wonderful feeling to wake up fresher and not waste the day with a hangover! You keep posting too, it's lovely that we can all support each other!

Chardonnay

Day 16 today. Had to think about what day I was on!

All good here. I've started reading "The Easy Way to Control Alcohol" by Allan Carr. I read it last year but was very half hearted so it didn't really stick. However, I did give up smoking using his book 17 years ago. Again I had read it once but hadn't really committed to giving up in my mind, but when I read it the second time, I was ready, and it clicked.

Not sure if the drinking book will have the same effect but at the moment, I just want as many tools in my sober tool box as possible, so definitely nothing to lose with reading it.

Have a great Monday all! :cool:

Honey_Bear

Maryland_Cookie wrote: »

I can't moderate, can't say no and not have an off switch.

This is absolutely me, too. And I wish, really wish, I could have moderated and thereby carry on but no matter how many times I promised myself I would stop I never did. This, just not putting alcohol into my body, is more straightforward. It's tough in the early days and then, I promise you, it gets easier.

cavework wrote: »

Yesterday as usual I drank a whole bottle of wine while watching the Emmerdale omnibus BUT now it's non alcoholic wine and a whole bottle has just 26 calories! (£2.50 from Morrisons)
Could not believe the difference , I actually remember the whole story line..
Glad you enjoyed the video .. I'm sure it was based on me although I have never hit someone on the head with a ....... as far as I can recall.. or have I ?
xxx

You had me worried there! Isn't the difference wonderful? It feels like a miracle now, waking up the morning 'after' and feeling - great!


I tried the Morrisons AF wine and much as I wanted to like it I couldn't stomach it at all. What I'm sure was worthwhile was steadily working my way through all of the AF alternatives until I found the right one for me and compared to the price of booze, even the trial and error period was cheap. In the long run it's saving me £££s because even when I plan to have three or four Beck's Blues, I only ever manage a couple. I'm told alcohol dries out the throat, which is one of the reasons people keep tipping more booze down their throat and non-drinkers just can't keep up with that level of consumption.

Chardonnay wrote: »

Day 16 today. Had to think about what day I was on!

All good here. I've started reading "The Easy Way to Control Alcohol" by Allan Carr. I read it last year but was very half hearted so it didn't really stick. However, I did give up smoking using his book 17 years ago. Again I had read it once but hadn't really committed to giving up in my mind, but when I read it the second time, I was ready, and it clicked.

Not sure if the drinking book will have the same effect but at the moment, I just want as many tools in my sober tool box as possible, so definitely nothing to lose with reading it.

Have a great Monday all! :cool:

For weeks I read and read and read everything I could get my hands on, and I'm absolutely certain it was one of the things that got me through the early days, so carry on doing what you're doing, because it's working.


When I finally managed to give up both smoking and booze without any of the traditional supports (patches, hypnosis, AA) it was because I was totally committed to doing so and knew that it was time. The thing that has totally taken me by surprise is that, apparently, I have willpower. If you'd asked me 10 years ago I'd have said I was the most weak-willed person on the planet, so the sense of achievement is something that feels really, really good. And in the early days of going AF, the fact that I managed to stop smoking nine years before by myself, cold-turkey, kept me going when I thought I was going to give into temptation.


I can honestly say I would no more pick up a glass of booze and take a swig any more than I would take a drag of a fag. Just *yuk* !!


I love reading people's reflections on how their journey is going - good on you Chardonnay! You've started something special.

Chardonnay

Morning HB!

Not having an off switch sucks eh?! It's taken me so long to realise I just can't moderate, especially on a night out. Good intentions inevitably lead to binge drinking and I feel that mentally and physically I can't deal with the consequences any more.

I can't see me having more than a couple of Becks Blues either. I was never really a big beer drinker and it starts to taste bitter to me after a couple. It's great to have as an alternative to soft drinks though.

Reading is really helping me at the moment. In fact I'm going to treat myself to a Fire HD tablet. Well I figure I am saving money by not drinking alcohol so why not! There are a couple of books that I really fancy reading - one of them is about how to socialise without drinking. I figure I can then take it on holiday next month without having to cram loads of books into my suitcase. Reading is going to be important to me on this holiday I think and also I can email Belle if I need to as I think we have wi-fi in the villa.

Yes, being able to give up smoking without any aids shows that we have willpower. It's great to hear the way you feel about drinking now. I look forward to getting to that day!

Thanks, I am finding this is really helping me and I hope to update every day!

Chardonnay

All quiet here. No drinking obviously and feeling good about it. Still reading blogs and everything I can to help me on my journey. I bought the tablet yesterday - £79 but I think it's ok to spend that money as I think I will get a lot out of it and if it helps, it's got to be worth it!

I'm waiting for it to be delivered, then there are a couple of books I would like to download. Rachel Black's "Sober is the new Black" looks great, so that's the first one on the list. I also want to download her "How to Party Sober" book as think that will be very relevant for me. Another test coming up on Saturday night - my biggest one yet, so I will be looking for all the help I can get.

Still reading Allan Carr's book. Not sure it resonates quite as much as the smoking book but it is definitely helping.

Debt-wise I've paid £44.80 off my Littlewoods today and my loan payment has gone out so debt has gone down slightly and is going in the right direction - signature updated.

Day 18 today!

MarylandCookie_2

Hey Chardonny, you are doing really well and so focused. I've made a note of those books I'll give them a try. Have you tried meditating? I keep trying, it's not easy, but I do find it helps. And fab news on the tablet, you deserve it.

We've got a beer festival coming up at the end of the month, I love a beer fest and love real ale, it'll be a really good time with friends, and I really want to drink. I can't go to the festival and not drink, well i suppose i could, but i really dont want to. I'm already asking myself what I will do, how I'll cope and how I'll moderate......

PS: I'm not a newbie, but logged myself out of MSE last night and couldn't for the life of me get myself logged on - I'm such a numpty, and ended up witha new profile, but it's still me, the old Maryland Cookie xxx

Chardonnay

Hi Maryland! :hello: Thanks. I feel I am focused this time. I still have my moments though. I'd describe it as a sort of empty restless feeling, similar to how I felt when I stopped smoking. Stupidly, these feelings seem to occur more in the day time, in the back of my mind while I'm working, when of course I wouldn't have been drinking anyway! They do pass though. I really want to do it this time and I think that's the difference.

Yes I have tried meditating but haven't really committed myself to it. It's something that I really do want to get into so do need to start again. I've got a book (another one!!) called Quiet the Mind. It's only a short book and has lots of pictures in but it has great reviews and it does seem to explain how to meditate in a simple way. I'm going to try again I think. I think it could definitely help us in our AF quest as it teaches you to live in the moment, which I really need to!

Argh! A beer festival, that's a difficult one because it's focused on alcohol. Do you have to go? Would it be easier to make an excuse this time, as you're still early in your AF journey? If you do go, you CAN go to the festival and not drink, you know you can. Just think how you will feel if you do have a drink. Think how you'll feel the next day if you do drink and imagine how great you'll feel if you don't. Try to focus on it being a time to meet your friends, not the beer? Maybe treat yourself after if you don't drink - buy yourself something you've been wanting for a while - you'll save so much money by not drinking alcohol. You've already said you can't moderate, and neither can I.

I really do feel your pain. These are the occasions that are going to be so hard. I have started to think now though that when I think, "well I'll just have one or two glasses of wine, that'll be fine", I think it through and I know I won't be satisfied with one or two glasses and I will either feel more deprived if I have to stop at two, or just say to hell with it and get blotto and feel absolutely awful the next day! I really think it's easier not to drink at all. I think what we need to get to is not feeling deprived if we can't drink, but feeling free instead. Allen Carr's book does try to drum that into you. I'm not quite there with that yet but that's understandable. We've had years of brainwashing that we need alcohol to have a good time. It's going to take some time to reverse that brainwashing.

Maybe try the book about socialising by Rachel Black? I'm intending to cram that one into my brain before my night out on Saturday - that's going to be such a big test for me.

Anyway, not sure if my waffle makes sense or if it helps at all but you can do this, we can do this! There's a whole new life waiting out there for us!

Ha ha, that's the sort of thing I'd do, but I'm pleased you managed to get back in! :rotfl:

Chardonnay

Just had another thought....I wonder if they will do AF beer at the festival? At least then you wouldn't feel left out. I find drinking AF beer when I go out really helps. Could be worth a thought

Honey_Bear

Maryland Cookie, there's a blog called 365reasons2sober which is absolutely shocking reading but worthwhile for anyone who frequents festivals on getting to grips with sobering up and enjoying themselves wholeheartedly (she hasn't quite cracked that yet but if you read any of it you'll understand why).

I've been following her story since I stopped drinking (7 months plus) and she's just, very recently, passed her 1 Year Sober landmark. If you're even slightly prudish I absolutely do not recommend it, because she really did have at least 365 different reasons to quit. A very saluatory read!

MarylandCookie_2

Thanks both for your posts and suggestions. I must download the book on kindle, I say I, being the technophobe I am I haven't got a clue how to do it!! Will have to have lessons off the OH!!

I love sober blogs HB, someone on the cutting down alcohol thread suggested "A dappled path" on Wordpress, I could almost write the blog myself and I'm definitely on the same dappled path as Annie!

The beer festival is in a pub, so there will be soft drinks. Do you know the thought of going and not drinking hadn't occurred to me......hold that thought MC!!!

Thank you for your support, it's great how everyone really roots for each other, and how less isolated you feel - well I do