The single track road - life on a different path

Levi-

^ lol- I saw it too but thought there was something wrong with my computer

MeandO

I remember the Andrex puppy thing too Levi, but my folks wouldn't buy Andrex - was too expensive - despite my protests! :rotfl: Hope work got easier, mine was pretty hectic and stressful too. March is notoriously busy for us, not half as much this year, but this past week it has picked up and people are panicking about spending budgets before the end of March.

Well, today was crap. There's no other word for it really.

Had a nice hour with Ds this morning before dropping him at his Dad's (as he takes him to school every morning and I pick him up due to our working hours). It went downhill fast from there though really.

As mentioned, work was stressful, then I found myself on a particularly 'down' day about everything and had to fight back the tears several times at work today. Then to top it off, O wasn't happy when I picked him up, seemed very sad and sombre. Wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but proceeded to kick Mummy whilst she was down on the short drive home from school with 'I don't want to stay at your house, I want to stay with Daddy, because I like Daddy'.

Oof.

I knew it would come, I just didn't expect it this soon. I know he doesn't mean anything by it, but after being on the verge of tears all day, I really didn't want to hear that tonight. Then my neighbour came out and hugged me tonight when I got home and said 'congrats' on getting everything sorted and having my own house now etc. She meant well but again, tonight wasn't the night!

So, Oscar's in bed, I've made and packed three more orders, just sent a meter reading to np0wer and now going to chill for a bit with YNAB before getting an early night - I know how to relax eh?!:rotfl:

MeandO

apple_muncher wrote: »

are you sure it wasn't just something you ate?

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: I was starting to think it was my imagination to be honest, it's been one of those days, but then saw lots of 'get rid of it' posts on another board, so felt a little more sane.

And relieved that my HM soup didn't have hallucinogenic properties after all!

Levi-

Eurgh that doesn't sound like a very nice day at all - if it's any consolation DITTO on most front today, absolutely terrible @ work and it followed me home for multiple reasons, I'll spare you the details- and I still feel awful now I know you know O didn't mean anything by it but it obviously would hurt your feelings but its highly likely he's just really into the novelty of the new house at the moment and it really (REALLY) isn't personal about you. They deffo know how to kick us when they are down though that's for sure..please don't sweat it. Do you think maybe something at school happened again with that nasty kid?

Must just be something in the air today... *ERASE*. hope you have a good night.xx

MeandO

Yeah, nasty kid (NK) was spoken to yesterday after the ex had a word with the teacher and after school club staff and apparently behaved, with Oscar coming home saying 'NK was my friend today' - breaks your heart doesn't it... but today he said NK told him to 'go away'. Trouble is, Oscar is so timid and seems frightened of rejection for some reason, so won't go and ask someone else to play, I feel so sad that he may not have anyone to play with. I feel that I'm going to have to cut my hours sooner than 1st September as planned, he is not thriving in the after school club environment and I feel like it's having such a negative effect on him. I think I will have to speak to work about changing my hours sooner, despite the fact that it will mean a big drop in salary over the summer.

MeandO

The early night still hasn't happened.

I watched some YNAB tutorials on handling the credit card debt and now have it figured. YNAB is currently saying I'm £159 short for next month, but the £100 pre-paid mastercard from Sky and tax credits should fix that.

Oscar is sounded very unsettled, hope we both get a decent nights sleep tonight, but it doesn't sound promising presently.

Now I'm off to move furniture.

[STRIKE]Blame[/STRIKE] thank Lilty.

night all
xx

liltdiddylilt

Hello poppet...

Just caught up! And feel like running around like a schoolgirl going EEEEHHHH at all manner of things!! But will control myself.

Am so sorry you have had a rough time of it the last few days! And that O has been doing his best (without knowing) to bring you to your knees. Kids have a nasty habit of doing these things I find. Must have hurt very badly when he said he wanted to go to daddy's. I sympathise wholeheartedly. Those are the nightmare scenarios that run through your head when you first face the prospect of a break up and subsequent separate houses.

Remember this: you are his mummy. There is only one you. You cannot be replaced by anyone in the world. Daddy does not compare to mummy. He is daddy in his own right and incredibly important and just as special but he will never replace you. So all the kicking and screaming and fighting, and anything else O cares to throw at you over the next 15 years... and there will be plenty worse than this.. there will come a day when he will realise everything that you are to him and everything he has in you. In the meantime, I am sure that daddy will assure you that he gets just the same treatment. O will try to blackmail so you have to co-parent even more strongly than before. Stick to the same rules. No 'daddy lets me do this, mummy says I can stay up till then'. Divide and conquer... babies learn that one in the womb!

As for school and the after school club. You know him best, but please speak to the school and the after school clubs yourself. Explain the situation... they have specialist ways of helping shy kids, or those who don't interact well. Jelly prefers adults. I personally think it is a no-brainer. We understand her; we help her, and we get her what she needs, and give her a decent conversation. Kids don't but still the nursery are worried (even though it runs in my family being a bit shy/loner) so they are putting in place things to help her develop relationships with her little friends. Maybe O would benefit from something similar..

It does break your heart though. Amazing how kids do that. I idolise my daughter. She is my reason for breathing.. and yet I could have throttled her today when she tried to throw herself under a moving car. Still love her. Lol. Just about...

Anyway.. catch up soon. I should have been asleep an hour ago but the shower is broken xxx

MeandO

liltdiddylilt wrote: »

Hello poppet...

Just caught up! And feel like running around like a schoolgirl going EEEEHHHH at all manner of things!! But will control myself.

Haha, I knew you'd be the one to pick up on that one! :rotfl::D:rotfl: Have just pm'd backatcha.


Awesome advice as ever Lilty, thank you. O's Dad did say last night that he had received equal abuse in the morning before school, and Oscar was going to 'put Daddy on the step for 40 minutes, not play with him again and not watch TV with him because he's naughty and isn't very nice' - because Daddy had made the cardinal sin of asking him to put his coat on for school lol. Made me feel better though!

Oscar also tried to run into the path of a moving car once Lilty, I think I literally saw life flash before me and everything sort of slowed down. You don't know whether to berate them or hug them tight afterwards, so I did both! :rotfl:

plymouthscubagirl

Hey, I have been reading this thread with interest and thought I'd come out of lurking!
This could have been written by me. Sorry I haven't read through properly, kind of first few and last few pages but my situation is pretty much the same! Split with ex in July last year after I found out he had been texting someone I knew for over 6mths (she had become a best friend-ouch), then moved out in Sept with nothing to my name, so have had to find somewhere suitable, in catchment area blah blah blah and find furniture for me and my little gorgeoous one (he's 4). Literally on the point of moving out I debated whether I was doing the right thing, and whether I should try harder for little ones sake, and also his 2 girls (from previous marraige) who I adore. But me being the stubborn typical goat I ploughed on regardless. Have the guilt of putting us both into huge debt trying to mnaage/maintain houses, but still believe deep down I did the right thing. Wish I could just turn the clock back a year but its not going to happen!

Anyway just to send hugs as I too get lots of 'I want to see Daddy' and it does hurt. The worst being in January for my 40th and little one played up night before at restaurant and Daddy kind of dangled a carrot for my son into staying at his (when it was my night) by mentioning the Wii! He has just got into games and that was it. I was officially dumped on the eve of my 40th for a Wii :rotfl:Hurt like mad, but I wasn't going to force him to stay at mine after that and be the bad guy. Refuse to get drawn into those games as he only did it in the hope I'd stay at his too. I'm sure they'll be lots more times like this too :mad: (I bought a 2nd hand Wii after that though)!!

Stay strong chicken, it does get easier when the routine is developed. Kids are creatures of habits too.

Luckily little one is just as happy at mummys as he is at Daddys now. Nothing I want more than for Dady to continue being a big part of his life, even if it means I miss out a little.

Wise words from liltdiddylilt - so very true. Singing from the same hymn sheet is key with kids. They soon pick up on chinks in the armour otherwise and will start playing you off. I've had to make sure Daddy puts little one to bed at sensible hour as I was getting him back the next day all tired and grumpy. Feel like I'm a party pooper as daddy says he doesn't have him often and likes to have the evening with him, but he does now realise how much nicer little one is when had a full nights sleep. Tough implementing all this though.

I too have been using YNAB for the last few months, although only really the last month that I have really got the hang of it properly. Think I was overspending all the time before and couldn't figure a way out of the mess. It is definitely helping now though and that along with the Kon Marie/decluttering thread has really helped curb any spending and stick to a budget for the first time in my life!

Anyway now I've written my own life story I'll shut up and just read again form now on Just wanted to say it sounds like you are doing a cracking job!

MeandO

Well, sleep did not find me very easily again last night. No screaming from the little one last night, but I think I had way too much in my head and just couldn't drop off for HOURS. I saw 2am. Again.
I don't think trying to sort credit cards and budgets just before bed is such a good idea, certainly doesn't induce a restful sleep, so I need to stop doing that right before bedtime.

Today is payday :j
I had to query a transaction on my account this morning for £13.52 which I didn't recognise. Turns out it was a purchase I made in Iceland which has only just been processed - 3 weeks later. :eek: Happy it was fraudulent but so annoyed I now have to enter it in YNAB as a spend for this month - why couldn't it have come out yesterday!

Online shop should be delivered tonight with one of the cheapy £1 delivery slots. It will be a bit more than usual this week as I've run out of quite a few toiletries and have been irking the old bottles out for as long as possible. I even cut the frizz-ease serum tube in half and have got every last blob out of that one. :T

Please accept this notification as prior warning of a miserable-&rsed MeandO tomorrow...

I'm another year older tomorrow and am dreading it. The ex wants to make a fuss, which is very nice of him, I know, but I'd rather he didn't, especially as money is tight for both of us and we're living apart now. I'm guessing they'll be more cake offerings from O, but I'd rather just leave this one to pass unnoticed to be honest. Daddy has been mentioning it to Oscar who is now sad because he thinks he's not invited to 'my birthday party' (because life revolves around birthday parties at school for him at the minute), even though I've tried to explain to him I'm not having one and grown-ups don't often have birthday parties, so that is causing more upset.
HIM is pretty rubbish in that dept and will no doubt forget too! urgh I hate my birthday, it always leaves me feeling so bloody miserable. I have officially cancelled it, which leaves me being 21 for another year.

Anyway, best go and do some work, but first MORE TEA!

Have a good day all

xx