Do I message my ex husbands new girlfriend or not

jaylee3

This ^^^ with bells on.

Jagraf

Mumoffourkids wrote: »

Hi, sorry for not coming back sooner. I have been reading the replies.

I do appreciate the time everyone has taken to reply and I suppose the reason why I posted was because even though my friend said to message, I didn't feel right about doing it so I wanted to get further opinions.

I haven't messaged and I don't intend. I did have a very long chat with my ex at the weekend as my daughter's behaviour does go from being absolutely lovely to being so horrible to me and my other kids. I am trying to get her to see the counsellor at school as I think it would help to be able to talk to someone else about all that has gone on, and my ex thinks this is a good idea as well but she has refused.

I don't appreciate being told to get new friends though - that wasn't very nice if people were being serious about that. If you were just joking then I apologise for jumping to the wrong conclusion.

The problem I have with working on my own relationship with my daughter is that I have offered to take her out by herself but the last time she came back from her dad's she was in one of her bad moods and told me in no uncertain terms that she did not want to go out for a day with me.

I am trying really hard with her but it is hard when all you get is rudeness and attitude back.

So once again thank you for your replies - I have taken the advice on board and won't be messaging.

Great decision - and I'm sure your friends mean well, none of us are experts and they know you best.

fluffnutter

Mumoffourkids wrote: »

I don't appreciate being told to get new friends though

OK. No need to get new friends. Just never, ever ask them for advice again.

Dr._Shoe

She's 12 !!!!!! an it has nothing at all to do with your Ex's GF.

IME ALL 12 year old girls are exactly the same. My own daughter has always been a good girl but we got all the typical tantrums, strops and teenage hassle that every single parent on the planet gets.

You might think that your relationship has gone down hill but the reality is is that it hasn't. Wait untl she gets to 19 and the tap switches off just as suddenly as it has switched on and you have your sweet loving daughter back again with a more of a "friend and friend" relationship than mother and daughter one. Don't worry, gf will never ever replace you, she is just trying to be a friend to your daughter and keep on her right side because she will influence what your ex thinks of her.

The teenage years is nature's way of actually making you look forward to her flying the nest instead of dreading it.

meritaten

I haven't posted before because I thought it had all been said - and for a change everybody was in agreement.
Glad you took on board not to message the girlfriend - but, what others have said about your friends is right. the advice was awful - what's worse is that they must have known it would cause trouble. what sort of friend advises that? anyone in their right mind would know that the girlfriend would be upset and go straight to your ex - who would defend her and possibly tell your DD what a beetch her mum is! giving your DD even more ammo when she has a barney with you.
and yes - 12 years old and even the most amenable child has their 'horrible' moments! its a fact of bringing up teens. and requesting counselling is a bit OTT don't you think? is she staying out drinking and doing drugs? is she shoplifting or mugging old ladies? NO, she is argueing with you. Entirely normal at that age.