Really fed up with birth mothers emotional blackmail.

clark24

TonyMMM wrote: »

No - a will that has been through probate is a public document, anyone can get a copy on payment of the £10 fee.

Thanks, I will apply now.

clark24

lincroft1710 wrote: »

Agreed.

Your birth mother's behaviour is that of a spoilt child rather than that of a mother wanting to strengthen her family ties.

She has the mental age of a child due to severe brain damage, and a very nasty twisted child at that.

Annisele

It's possible that the will hasn't been through probate - either because it didn't need to be (small estate) or because OP's birth family hasn't done things properly. Given what else the OP has said, it wouldn't surprise me to find some shortcuts were taken.

Unless the jewellery is exceptionally valuable (i.e. so valuable that having it and selling it would make a huge difference to OP's life) I think it's best to just let it go. OP doesn't even know for certain anything was left to her - it could just be her birth mother making waves - and even if it was, getting it would take a huge amount of time and energy that could probably be better spent on other things.

Mojisola

Annisele wrote: »

Unless the jewellery is exceptionally valuable (i.e. so valuable that having it and selling it would make a huge difference to OP's life) I think it's best to just let it go.

I think it would more important to get the jewellery if it wasn't worth much - the emotional value of having something from someone who cared about you when you have a history like clark24's is hard to put into words.

There's absolutely no need to have any contact with the mother.

It's the executors' responsibility to make sure the beneficiaries receive their legacies.

If the only way to get these pieces was to get involved with the mother, then I would write them off.

lincroft1710

Even if you dance to her tune, I would give odds on that your mother never gives you the jewellery.

burnoutbabe

how would it cause any upset? You mention something about "the will" and he'd mention the jewelery and you'd just say you didn't have it yet for some reason.

Surely his daughters would pass it over if he asked and claim it was some mistake/oversight?

And if your granddad wants to leave you something, he could give you some item now rather than later surely.

clark24

Annisele wrote: »

It's possible that the will hasn't been through probate - either because it didn't need to be (small estate) or because OP's birth family hasn't done things properly. Given what else the OP has said, it wouldn't surprise me to find some shortcuts were taken.

Unless the jewellery is exceptionally valuable (i.e. so valuable that having it and selling it would make a huge difference to OP's life) I think it's best to just let it go. OP doesn't even know for certain anything was left to her - it could just be her birth mother making waves - and even if it was, getting it would take a huge amount of time and energy that could probably be better spent on other things.

It has been through probate, there is a probate number with her will.

I'm not sure how valuable the jewellery is, it could be very valuable as she was quite well off, or the good stuff could have gone to the more favoured members of the family. I would never have sold it anyway, it would have been kept and passed down my family as is right to do.

clark24

Mojisola wrote: »

I think it would more important to get the jewellery if it wasn't worth much - the emotional value of having something from someone who cared about you when you have a history like clark24's is hard to put into words.

There's absolutely no need to have any contact with the mother.

It's the executors' responsibility to make sure the beneficiaries receive their legacies.

If the only way to get these pieces was to get involved with the mother, then I would write them off.

That's the thing, it is purely emotional value and knowing my grandmother wanted me to have items that were special to her, and the fact it is being used to hurt me would have devastated her.

My mother has 'previous' for this sort of behaviour, none of this has come as a shock to me but I am baffled as to why she was given the items to pass on, my grandfather also had my address, although chances are she manipulated them into doing it, promising them sweetly she would take pleasure in giving them to me.

Wilma33

Apply for a copy of the will because for all you know she left you a lot more than some jewellery!

TiddlyPom

I can't add anything to the advice that has been given. I am so very sorry you find yourself in this position and subject to emotional blackmail from the one person who should nurture and protect you. Very sad.
You are in my thoughts.