Diary of my new life !!!

yeovilmac

That's weird, so have I?

Must be the full moon ( runs off to look out of the window )

No moon in sight!

spud30

yeovilmac wrote: »

That's weird, so have I?

Must be the full moon ( runs off to look out of the window )

No moon in sight!

OMG you're not Benben's ex are you :eek: :rotfl:

tigzem

Hi - it's me!! Not been online since last week... had severe withdrawal symptons. Just caught up with your diary, doubt I'll be able to do the same with IA's:rotfl:

Sorry about the row with ex, but glad the AQA stuff came through.

Walk in the forest sounds fun, we were hoping to so the same but OH was poorly (man flu) and I was helping my Mum move some furniture.

x

benbenandme

Hi Tigz, hope you're settled in okay :beer:

This morning I thought I'd call ex and clear the air after the row, but we ended up having an bigger row and he hung up on me :mad: :mad: Have decided I'm not gonna bother contacting him anymore unless an emergency ... I've tried really hard to remain civil for ds sake but he just treats me like [EMAIL="!!!!"]!!!![/EMAIL] and then blames me for it :rolleyes: :mad: and I've had enough.

Other news, I've got my online chat with my AQA person tonight :eek: Am quite nervous really Hopefully though then I can get on and earn some money soon
Had a no-spend day today :T :T We had an inset day today so was an easy day for me , got my payslip ... have paid emergency tax and they have put my contracted hours at 25 instead of 29 :rolleyes: so next month it should be adjusted and I should get a chunk more money :j

mae

Hi I don't know what your row was over but as you say you're not gonna bother contacting him unless an emergency, maybe your right as sometimes 'silence is golden' and you are such a positive person do you really need him draining that out of you.

benbenandme

Thank you Mae The row was because I had told him ds has a school open evening next week and asked if he wanted to come. He told me he'd let me know and as I hadn't heard from him I texted him to find out (as a friend is gonna come with me if he's not and they just wanted to know what was happening). He ignored my text (and a different text I sent earlier in the week), so I left it a few hours then sent another one saying "I see you're ignoring me, I asume you're not coming then?" he replied straight away saying he wasn't ignoring it, he was busy, why was I so childish blah blah blah ... even though he is one of those blokes that has his phone surgically attached to him and gets excited if someone bothers to text him :rolleyes: ... I replied saying I'd just like to know whether he's going or not so I can make plans :rolleyes:
Anyway, this morning when I phoned to clear the air I said "sorry for last night, I don't want to argue again (we used to argue daily), just want to clear the air" to which he said it was all my fault because I can't accept he has other priorities in his life and that he has a life etc etc ... I reminded him perhaps his son ought to be a bigger priority in his life He told me he will be coming to the meeting but that I am not to talk to him and he will ignore me when we are there :eek: .... how he can't stand talking to me, how its my fault he left (the fact he was shagging someone else and he walked out to live with her seems to have escaped him :rolleyes: ), and how he hates having to speak to me :mad: I reminded him I only contact him when I need to discuss something about ds and that I was trying to be reasonable and invited him to the meeting and am trying to involve him with ds school-life for ds sake ... he then hung up on me :mad: :mad: He's SUCH an @rse ... its so difficult because I want to remain civil with him for ds sake but am rapily reaching the point where I can't even try and do that anymore :rolleyes: My conscience will be clear when ds asks why daddy was never around though

Sorry for the rant but he makes me soooo mad :mad:

mae

One word GUILT and until he learns to deal with it he will continue to transfer the blame onto you to let himself 'off the hook'. But he can't escape it, in my opinion guilt eats away at you whether you deny it or not.

Like you say your conscience is clear so keep up the good work :A

Ellidee

Hi, I agree with mae above. You are doing so well don't let him pull you down. I understand that you try ,for your sons' sake, to keep him involved but you have to think about yourself too. Keep up the money saving and good luck.

yeovilmac

Believe me, as an absent dad, the worst thing about not being there with your kid(s) is "the not being there"...:( . Like your ex, I was initially the one at fault in my relationship although leter on, events happened that weren't my responsibility, and it's a terrible feeling when you know that you can't see your kids and its your own stupid fault.:( I know they say that men don't understand the mind of a woman but I'm struggling to understand the mind of this man.

I went to court to get my contact with the twins formalised as Mum was messing about with the times. Now I get up to 54 hours a week with them which is exceptional for an absent dad, I will get them for three extra days at half term and the last two years, i've taken them away to a Haven camp for a week.

I really hope you sort this out, benben, and that he sees the error of his ways. You deserve better than him, sorry if I'm out of order saying that, but speaking as a man who has treated his ex badly in the past ( not the kids, the ex!! ), I feel I can speak with some knowledge.

Take care

Martin
x

benbenandme

Thats the stupid thing though, I've never stopped him seeing his son. When he first left he saw him 2 day a week on his days off but after 2 months he asked to reduce it to once a week as he had too many other things to do and it was too tiring :mad:
He now seems him every other weekend (sat morning till sunday afternoon). He's never asked to see him more than that. He has phoned him 4 times since christmas :eek: (3 of them have been in the last couple of months since I moved).
He's a real stereotypical theme-park-at-weekends type of absent dad ... he thinks a few day-trips and shed-loads of money make him a good dad :rolleyes: :mad: