We all need to be heard for a little while.

jobbingmusician

WOOO! That's EXCELLENT, WaS! It's great to get freebies in return for reviews, and I bet they love yours because your writing is so entertaining!

calleyw

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

You really are very strong even though I am sure that you don't feel it at times. I do believe you will deal with what makes you feel bad but it will take a while because you need time to recover from what you have been through. You are dealing with it head on though which is half the battle, you will make it.

You are not the only person to say that I am strong.

Just don't feel like it some days.

I want to get it sorted as I can't keep living this way.

Yours

Calley

Waves_and_Smiles

I can't ever return to smoking real cigarettes now, JM. Not only will it feel like a huge waste of money now I can get e-cig products for free, I will feel like I am letting the nice man at the company down! Absolutely anything guilt trips me, anything at all.

I honestly do think you are very strong Calley. I know that I couldn't have managed as you have and I doubt many other people could either. The fact you want to get it sorted shows how strong you are, too. You are still fighting and this is why I am certain that you will make it through this, you have the strength and determination to do so where many people would have given up. This is why I admire you.

calleyw

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

I honestly do think you are very strong Calley. I know that I couldn't have managed as you have and I doubt many other people could either. The fact you want to get it sorted shows how strong you are, too. You are still fighting and this is why I am certain that you will make it through this, you have the strength and determination to do so where many people would have given up. This is why I admire you.

Thank you again. You make me want to cry but in a good way if that makes any sense.

Yours

calley

Georgiegirl256

Afternoon all!

Yesterday went fine, the weather was atrocious (torrential rain, strong wind), and was probably magnified 10 fold being stood on top of an exposed mountain! We were soaked to the skin! My Uncle gave me a pair of waterproof trousers to wear, but it was already too late to put them on at that stage really! But you get to a stage where you just can't get any wetter and just embrace it!

It wasn't really that bad for the first couple of miles, but then it really started to rain, but we were all kitted out (apart from the bottom half, never thought about that) and, we're Northerners!! Rain doesn't bother us, we're used to it! :rotfl:

Me and DH were slightly put to shame by the bunch of 60/70 year olds racing on ahead, and at points that did include my Mam too! She is very fit and managed it with ease (part from she needed a little bit of help on the mountain itself where there a lot of tree roots and unevenness), everyone was proud of her and she was chuffed to bits that she managed it no problem!

I'll PENGUIN this next bit out just incase:

So it was so rainy and windy at the summit and I was so worried about the actual scattering of the ashes as I was worried they'd blow away everywhere, but no, it was fine. We moved some stones from the cairn and poured the ashes in. We took turns at doing it, first my Mam, then me, then my Uncle, Cousin, DH and then me and my Mam again. Then repositioned the stones back over the top, including the heart shaped stone I'd had in my car and we'd (me and my Dad) found at the beach. It's traditional anyhow to take a stone up with you to put on to the cairn, and so that was our stone. Even though it was windy, he seemed quite settled there. Of course it was very emotional but nice too. Especially when my Uncle read out the little poem that was included in the funeral service. They printed them out onto little laminated keepsakes, and I saw the photo of my Dad when he was in the Army, and that photo always makes me smile. We all hugged, said our goodbyes to my Dad and set back off down again. If it'd have been nicer weather, we'd probably have had our sandwiches etc up there, but we had them in the car instead, sitting on the cardboard (as we were soaked to the skin!) I'd out in to go to recycling.

My Aunty and uncle also said that that is where they want to be scattered too, so that made me happy. I had no idea (well, it's not really something that you talk about is it?), but I like the idea that they'll be there to keep my Dad company. My Uncle said each time he goes up, he'll take a new stone or something up to put on the cairn.

As we were coming back down the mountain, it stopped raining, got a bit brighter and we were able to fully appreciate just how beautiful it is up there. It's part of a scheme called Wild Ennerdale. We noticed how green and fresh the trees looked, the little becks and waterfalls, the beautiful yellow primroses everywhere and the birds tweeting.

Tbh, the weather didn't really bother us at all, (I mean, once you're wet you're wet!) and was actually quite invigorating! It would have been nice if it could have been a nicer day weather wise for the occasion and the reason we were there, but my Dad having been a seasoned rambler himself would have understood that you never can predict the weather in the fells!

He's where he wants to be now, and hopefully happy as can be up there. :A

I started writing the above at about 10am! I've been in and out all day, rushing about, and have just sat down with a cuppa eventually and got it finished off.

geminilady

Was,Wish I could stick to the e-cigs.I do think they are a great replacement for real ones and my body is happy with them because I am still getting the nicotine but my head wants real ones.I suppose its natural they have been my crutch for 40 years and my life revolves round them.Everything I do I need the reward of a cig or nothing gets done.It does not help as I am struggling at the moment.I know its what is going on in my life that is making me feel down but how do I know it is not also a chemical inbalance making me feel worse,wish there was some way to test people

Pyxis

Georgie, I'm so pleased it went well. Now you have some lovely memories, and your Mum's happy about it too! Plus she achieved the climb, and I know you were concerned she wouldn't be able to do it. :A




geminilady, if there's a lot of horrid stuff going on at the moment,the chances are what you have is reactive. It could still be a combination of things, of course, but it wouldn't hurt to work on the assumption that it's reactive. :A

mellymoo74

Head bad.
Meeting interesting
Will rest and update later
Had a couple of mouthfuls of smoothie

calleyw

Toned down my hair colour now a dark ash blonde.

Very close to my own colour which means I can go longer between dye jobs and save money :rotfl:

Yours

Calley

Stoodles

One of the (few) god things to come out of this illness is that i could finally stop dying my hair. I went grey quite early, and by my mid forties had enough of constantly keeping up with roots, But I could never find a way to stop. Having been signed off for three months, I had a short sharp cut before I went back to work, and I was free!