We all need to be heard for a little while.

mellymoo74

I will try and take the one I made and couldn't drink first thing WaS you know how it is relapsing currently

Stoodles

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Oh, that's horrid Stoodles. It's awful because when one feels ill you are using all of your energy for fighting to function and survive. You have little strength left to fight red tape and limited services, too. Have you ever considered an advocate? MIND can offer these, I was one myself a while back and they can often be your voice when you don't have the energy to deal with the treatment battle.

I found an advocate helpful, but only because she said "I'm starting ti take their refusal to respond to calls and letters personally now". It reassured me that I wasn't being paranoid. I was only using her to pursue my personal budget.

Waves_and_Smiles

That can help a lot. I remember telling my service users back when I was an advocate that it wasn't just them and I felt like I was hitting my head off of a brick wall, too. Mental Health advocates can get things done, they will hit the red tape as much as you do but they aren't fighting to survive while doing so, so can afford to keep pushing for you. I can remember ringing a counselling organisation every day for my client for 2 weeks, I am sure they eventually offered them an appointment to get rid of me.

I am so sorry to hear that, melly. Relapsing is awful but not surprising considering everything you have been through and are still going through. Try maybe half a smoothie if you can but don't beat yourself up for it if you can't.

calleyw

my husband took Amitriptylene for pain relief after his stroke 8 years ago.

I was on Citalopram for a while went up to highest doses they give now 40mg a day. And really don't think that it helped at all. I hated going on it. felt like I was climbing the walls and really going mad for the first few days.

I ended up missing a dose and refused to take them again. And that caused issues. Kept feeling sick for about a week of so after wards. I went to chemists and spoke to a pharmacist and they gave me something and told me to go back on Citalopram at least every other day to help wean me off. No way.

For me I am not sure tabs are the answer. As I don't believe my issues are chemical imbalance. But more due to things that have happened in my life.

I have always been shy and not confident and a massive worrier. But after my husbands stroke I just got on and did it all. Going to work and then straight to the hospital. At weekends very light house work as I was never home then off to the hospital to visit. Dam place became my second home. It was not great but I managed.

I think its more about the dreams and hopes that I had that were dashed that day. And how I keep letting myself getting disappointed by people. And falling for a person who was not ready for a relationship.

I have had private counseling and think it did help. But at £35 a pop it was getting expensive. My gp's do offer it about a two week wait for a appointment. But its rather ad hoc rather than say 6 sessions straight.

I will get there and determined to have a life worth living. Just need to not give a monkey about what other people think. Blinking heck this comes from a woman that over the last 3 years thats had red and purple hair!!! And a lot of ginger in between trying to get back to a normalish colour :rotfl: Nearly there, peroxide blonde at the moment still with a hint of ginger LOL!!!

Yours

Calley

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahaha! I have recently bought bright pink hair extensions for myself, Calley. As odd as it sounds with my people paranoia issues the more odd I look the more it feels like a mask where the real me can't be seen. It was why I was a goth, white facepaint, heavy make up, flowing capes and a wig felt the same as using my blanket. The real me was hidden beneath it all.

You have been through an awful lot, anyone would have difficulties with functioning after all of that. I am not your doctor so cannot judge but it sounds from what you have said that you don't have a chemical imbalance, instead you have had a really awful time for a very long time. Of course that's going to scar you and I think it's amazing that you are doing as well as you are. I don't think I would have held up half as well, I hope it's ok to say I really admire you?

Funnily enough, I was similar on Citalopram, it also gave me hives. I was swapped onto 40mgs Escitalopram which is the same medication but without the chemical carriers and have no side effects at all. I can only take that and Sexorat, the other modern anti-depressants make me very unwell with awful mental and physical symptoms.

tea_lover

Citalopram gave my mum very similar effects. Although to be fair she responds oddly to all medication! She has severe CMT and one weird effect of that is almost over-responding to medication. She was awake for days after one anti-histamine once.

calleyw

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Hahahaha! I have recently bought bright pink hair extensions for myself, Calley. As odd as it sounds with my people paranoia issues the more odd I look the more it feels like a mask where the real me can't be seen.

instead you have had a really awful time for a very long time. Of course that's going to scar you and I think it's amazing that you are doing as well as you are. I don't think I would have held up half as well, I hope it's ok to say I really admire you?

I do get it. You already think that people think you are odd and strange so why not be that. Yes a mask. I never dyed my hair when younger. So I did rebel a bit when my me and my husband split.

Did some things I am not proud of :(

Its very sweet of you to say that. if someone had said that when my I was 34 my husband 44 would have a stroke I would have said don't be silly. And I would have thought I would sit in the corner and cry. But I did not. I just went in to some sort of mode. And got on with it.

But now all the issues I had before being a worrier and lack of confidence etc has just been made worse.

Yours

Calley

jobbingmusician

How lovely to have you back, metalswan! I really enjoy the 'thanks' button when it shows me that friends are still reading (and hopefully enjoying) the thread. xxx

Waves_and_Smiles

I would recommend anyone who has problems with the newer anti-depressants tries Escitalopram if you can get it. My psychiatrist said it isn't given out as a first choice because it is more expensive than the rest so they try others first, it is kept for people who really cannot cope with other types. I have been told on no account to lose my medication due to cost!

I have done a lot that I am not proud of Calley, it was fun at the time though! Imagine a 19 year old who had grown up in a very dysfunctional family, having to take the adult role and the running of the household for years and suddenly freed from it and now with no responsibility. I definitely spent 3 years catching up on my teenage rebellion years!

You really are very strong even though I am sure that you don't feel it at times. I do believe you will deal with what makes you feel bad but it will take a while because you need time to recover from what you have been through. You are dealing with it head on though which is half the battle, you will make it.

Waves_and_Smiles

In other news, I am an official product tester, for E-Cigs! The first one I bought was from a brand new company and I was the first to leave a review for them. I have been talking on and off with the owner for the last few months and leaving them reviews, he just asked if I would like to test their new e-cigs and vape oils in exchange for more reviews and surveys. That is fine with me, it makes not smoking real ciggies even easier and cheaper!