We all need to be heard for a little while.

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, thank you Pyxis. I am clinging on to everyone right now. I am worried that this is now causing a chemical imbalance which is going to make the psychosis far worse. I contemplated asking for an emergency appointment with my psychiatrist but settled for emailing him instead. I know from the past that under these circumstances that even if it was a voluntary section that all anyone can do is increase medication and wait it out. There is no point causing a fuss, I know the routine. I have to grit my teeth, keep taking the emergency dose of medication and wait until it stops.

I have penguin feeding on Thursday which I am still looking forward to. The distraction may actually help if I can manage to out of the door with this degree of paranoia. As childish as this sounds if I can manage to be around animals it will give me a lot of comfort.

Thank you JM. A little voice piped up when I read your post saying "Hello, auntie JM!" It was rather sweet. I am sure my ovaries are quite happy really, I like the image of happy little brown walnuts! I shall imagine the blue light, I do have amethyst and a lot of crystals actually. Good idea!

Pyxis

Yes, WaS! Penguins on Thursday! Hold onto that!

Is WaSp with you?

jobbingmusician

Ooo WaS, I don't think your ovaries are brown! The ones I saw were a glowing yellow gold colour, full of vibrancy and life!

Waves_and_Smiles

Oooh, gold is even better! I have pretty ovaries!

Yes, WaSp is here. He is still ill from the fluey thing had so we are both suffering in different ways. I have to somehow make it on Thursday, I am telling myself it isn't until 30 minutes before the park closes so as they said there will be very few people and they will take me straight to the feeding area so I don't have to see people. I should only interact with one keeper and WaSp so it is manageable.

I am also really frustrated with myself because this is why my life is so limited. I do think it is a trigger from my teacher friend writing about me without my knowledge-one small incident and it has huge repercussions for me mentally. There really is no way I could manage work and a regular social life, it just takes the tiniest thing to throw me into mental health difficulties. I feel like a huge waste of space right now.

jobbingmusician

Grrr WaS, you are not! Just look how many people you are supporting on this thread! And I don't mean that you are responsible for them, or to burden you, but you started this thread which has become a really great 'duvet fort' for loads of people, including loads who never even post but are supported by the lovely atmosphere. You don't have to do anything, just be yourself, and you naturally help people

Waves_and_Smiles

Aww, thank you JM. I am glad that we all have this thread. Everyone just get the wet fish out and slap me everytime I end up all self-hatey for the next few days please!

jobbingmusician

*waits for Pyxis to produce appropriate piccy*

I have just wasted HOURS on The Eggcorn Database. Has anyone else discovered it? Half the things which are corrupted I'd seriously thought were Americanisms. I suppose most of them are, actually

Pedal stool and damp squid https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnXKVY-_i2c

Solarjunkie

Just had a peek at that JM, I wonder if "foot stall" is on there somewhere - that's the little thing in front of your chair that you put the magazines on.

System

So...somehow i've managed to !!!! a friend off to the point they are no longer talking to me. I don;t know what ive done wrong. they posted about being messed around and when i asked if they were ok they just went off on one at me.

I seem to be having a negative effect on everyone lately

System

I'm scared

penguin

i don't want to be here anymore. i feel like i have !!!!ed everything up. i have stockpile of meds and know the lethal dosage and want to take them. i'm so scared. i feel so alone. i feel i have screwed everything up. that i will never be happy again. that i am too !!!!ed up for anyone to ever love me. i dont want to be alone. im so scared. i just want to make all of this pain go away. i dont know what to do. i just want the pain to stop. please. make it go away. i don;t want to be here anymore. i've had enough. this is the 18th year i have had suffering. more than half my life. i can;t do this anymore. i so scared.

In cards and flowers on your window
Your friends all plead for you to stay

Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes good bye's the only way

[/penguin]