We all need to be heard for a little while.

Pyxis

Morning, Calley.

I hope you got some good sleep.

Would the confessing have to be to the temp agency, or to the place you worked?
Do the temp agency know that you aren't feeling too well at the moment?
It might help if you explain to them about the triggers, and also to tell them that you really do want to work, but that you are having difficulties.
Either way, good to tell them what happened. I'm sure that will be better than bottling it up.

On another note, do you like crosswords? The reason I ask is that I find them very calming. When I am feeling very agitated or worried, I find doing a crossword makes me focus on something completely unrelated to the problem, gives me 'permission' to switch off from the problem, and diverts my thinking processes.

I have to concentrate so hard on solving each clue, that it's a good way of 'washing' my mind of the worrying thoughts.

They might be an alternative for you, when you can't drive.

tea_lover

Morning team WaS. Hope you got some rest calley and that it goes ok if today's when you're speaking to work/agency. Just focus on the relief you'll feel when you've spoken to them - maybe plan a small treat for afterwards (like permission to spend the afternoon snuggled on the sofa with a book).

I enjoyed the LARP discussions last night - was too tired to join in but found it fascinating. I love the range of things we all do... and yet a lot of the time we all think we're boring lol!

Stoodles

Morning

That was a better night. I went out in a motorised floral armchair to collect hot water for cat washing. Although I got tangled up in one of those Southern European parades of glittery saints, I got past calling" Coming through, this is transport not furniture"
Dreams like that make me think it is safe to go to sleep.

Calley - I always feel better whenI've told the truth - like a tapestry that has been squared off after pilling out of shape in the working. But be sure you aren't feeling bad about something that isn't your fault. We can take too much on ourselves.
Pyxis - has your little bug bugged off? I quite like crosswords, but I love some of new Japanese puzzles. I think my favourite is called Hanje.

Pyxis

Stoodles wrote: »

Morning

That was a better night. I went out in a motorised floral armchair to collect hot water for cat washing. Although I got tangled up in one of those Southern European parades of glittery saints, I got past calling" Coming through, this is transport not furniture"
Dreams like that make me think it is safe to go to sleep.

Pyxis - has your little bug bugged off? I quite like crosswords, but I love some of new Japanese puzzles. I think my favourite is called Hanje.

I haven't tried Hanje, but I really like Futoshiki! I used to do loads of Sudoku, but got bored with it in the end, although I do sometimes do it! I prefer Kakuro. I also like Codebreaker/the Enigma Code where you have to find the words in the grid from their numbers and deduction and knowledge of English word formation and spelling.

The bug itself had gone by Friday last. However, even a minor bug these days always sets off a chronic thing, which investigations have so far drawn a blank on. So I feel ill for several more days. This time, it also made me a bit wheezy. I'm feeling gradually better each day. I managed to get to an AmDram rehearsal last night, after missing two daytime classes which was a pain, but I didn't want to push my luck for the evening. I'm going to go to stuff this morning and see how I get on, so may have to flop this afternoon. Thanks.

I just loved your dream! Urgent cat-washing water needed! Brill!


Must go and look up Hanje now!

calleyw

Pyxis wrote: »

Morning, Calley.

I hope you got some good sleep.

Not really, got to sleep about 2.30 and awake again at 6.30. Had a e-mail last night from the agency asking me to hand in my time sheets. In the end it turned out I ended worrying about something else LOL!!!

Pyxis wrote: »

Would the confessing have to be to the temp agency, or to the place you worked?
Do the temp agency know that you aren't feeling too well at the moment?
It might help if you explain to them about the triggers, and also to tell them that you really do want to work, but that you are having difficulties.
Either way, good to tell them what happened. I'm sure that will be better than bottling it up.

As I had to get my time sheets, I got to talk to one of the people I had been working with. They were so nice I explained that I just had to say about 2 things. And I know it made no sense to them but had to in case there was any come back and they were niggling me. So hopefully cleared that out of my head.

She could not have been nicer and asked if I was ok. I said yes and everything will get sorted out. I feel such a fraud!!!

Mind you I sat in the car for nearly half an hour before I went in to the building. And I really hate messing people around. Another one of my issues.

Yes the agency know that I am not very well. And that I will be contact when I am better.

I did drive but it was around before 8am so not too bad. And put a small amount of fuel in the car.

Pyxis wrote: »

On another note, do you like crosswords? The reason I ask is that I find them very calming. When I am feeling very agitated or worried, I find doing a crossword makes me focus on something completely unrelated to the problem, gives me 'permission' to switch off from the problem, and diverts my thinking processes.

I have to concentrate so hard on solving each clue, that it's a good way of 'washing' my mind of the worrying thoughts.

They might be an alternative for you, when you can't drive.

Not my strong point and I can't speel for toffee LOL!!!!

I have just finished one small x-stitch project. Need to pick the next one to get started on, me thinks that will help.

Got emergency dr's appointment. Hopefully I can get something to help me to sleep. As it's not been great. And of course catch 22 worry can't sleep then it makes the worry a million times worse.

I have been faking all my life about my confidence. When I am in permanent job I can do it no problems and everyone thinks I am good and know what I am doing. When I tell them it's all front they don't believe me at all.

I know most people would prefer not to work. I do not for being lazy just can't cope dealing with people. I over think everything.

I even had to turn off my phone to silent so when I get a text it does not make a sound. As I find it really annoying after having huge great text arguments and fights with my ex. So now it annoys people when I don't reply straight away. I did turn it back on again a couple of weeks ago. But the noise scared me and them made me panic when it went off. So off it went again.

I know it has to stop. last night I was shivering and then felt like I was going to be sick and started to get some chest pains. Not good.

Just not sure how to stop the cycle. Think I need to forget about work for a month or two. Write myself a huge to do list and start to work my way through it. Sod the money issue. Might be able loose so weight if I can't afford to eat LOL!!!!

Right going to walk to the dr's only 10 mins up the road. And lets hope he is not running an hour behind like last time.

Yours

Calley

tea_lover

calleyw wrote: »

I even had to turn off my phone to silent so when I get a text it does not make a sound. As I find it really annoying after having huge great text arguments and fights with my ex. So now it annoys people when I don't reply straight away. I did turn it back on again a couple of weeks ago. But the noise scared me and them made me panic when it went off. So off it went again.

Me too! Years ago I got a lot of abusive texts from someone (and calls, and my windscreen smashed... but that's a different story!) I can't bear the sound of a text alert now, it still makes me panic. My phone is pretty much always on silent.

tea_lover

Phew - just done a scary thing! (why is everything so scary to me these days??)

HR person at new job said to ask if I had any questions. When I spoke to her the other day she said the stated hours of work could be flexible, it just needs to be agreed with your manager. The amount of hours is fine, but an earlier start time would make life a lot easier - so I plucked up the courage to ask her if she could check if my potential manager has a preference on hours. We won't even be based at the same site so I'm guessing (hoping) he won't be too fussed either way.

Would be gutted if I had to leave Brownies now I've just started.

I worded it v politely (I think!), said that I'm fully aware the hours will vary when I'm travelling etc. But obviously now I'm having a massive panic that the manager will have me down as a troublemaker already.

How on earth people manage to negotiate on salary is beyond me! I know this is supposed to be a two-way process but it's never felt like that to me.

Birdie85

Well done on doing the scary thing Tea! I don't think they'll think you're a trouble maker for wanting to start early at all! Surely being involved in the community and having meaningful hobbies outside of work is a good thing and something an employer should encourage!

No idea how people negotiate on salary though, I keep getting told by people to ask for more money since my job has essentially doubled in workload but I can't bear the thought of justifying why I think I deserve more money when I'm already thankful that they pay me what they do!

Pyxis

Tealover, I'm sure they won't think you're trouble! You're just sorting out what's expected of you re. hours and terms and conditions! Better to get it sorted now than when you've already started. And they did ask you if you had any questions!

Birdie, look at it this way:-
You go into a shop and ask the price to pay for, say, 10 oranges. They tell you and you buy them. The next week you go in and say you would like them to give you 20 oranges for the same price as the ten you bought last week.
What do you reckon their reaction will be?

It's the same with work. You are offering your services to do an amount of work for your salary. Now they want you to do twice the work for the same salary. It's the oranges!

The only drawback might be if in your contract it expressly says that the workload may be a lot greater at times. If not, and you are having to work longer hours or skip statutory breaks, etc. in order to do it, then they have changed the terms and conditions and you are perfectly entitled to query this and be remunerated accordingly!

Go for it!

tea_lover

Thanks Birdie. They've come back to me and said they'd prefer the stated hours (so much for her confidently telling me that 8am start would be fine - good job I checked!) but core hours could be from 8.30. Also said there's flexibility in terms of needing to leave early one day etc. Tbh not completely sure where that leaves me as am not sure if the 8.30 was a proper offer lol.

Was a bit 'grr' when I first read it - suppose I just want everything to go my way lol. Am just used to starting (and finishing) earlier, it's not like changing the hours will actually hurt me.

Sent a polite reply saying 8.30am would be good for me, if that fitted with business requirements. I also said that it would probably be easier to firm up arrangements when I'm in post - just so they know I'm still planning on turning up! Now I just have to be so impressive that they don't mind me changing my hours

I've got valid reasons (travel, evening commitments, etc) but I never feel like I can mention those. They're my problems, not theirs!