Should 18y/o son move out?

Richard_S

Posthinking wrote: »

My first wife died at 33 and we had 2 kids early teens. Boy was a prob but he was "persuaded" to join the forces and did really well for himself. Left the Navy recently and !!!!!! me he's back home!! Can't get rid of them ever!

Postie,

I couldn't possibly imagine such a tragic event; your will to carry on should be a lesson to us all; words for once, fail me.

whitehartman

Thanks everyone,
Im going to sleep on it again, and see if my son gets his job full time as at the moment its only going to be temporary for a few weeks.
Its going to be through an Agency but the company that will employing him through them may take him on.
But as i said before i have to tell my OR if he has more than 3 weeks work!!!
Tell OR soon that he's moved out......or leave it for a while, this is the main dilemma.

wherediditallgo

You have every right to revise your SOA, but I would advise a bit of caution on it. Once you've submitted one SOA as part of your original petition, the OR seems to pay intense attention to a revised SOA that results in a major change in the finances. I hope she won't mind me mentioning it, but Neko here submitted one SOA which resulted in an IPA of £156, it was subsequently revised (not all by her) resulting in no IPA. However, the big drop & the revision itself seems to have ended up with her case being given extra attention/monitoring by the ORs staff. No-one wants an IPA, but I advise being careful what you add & to what extent to save yourself possible hassle in the future.

whitehartman

Thanks wdiag,

I also really wanted to know any opinions of, say my son leaves home, would i still go into an IPA.
I was not really thinking of revising the SOA just a back up plan if i was to go into one,or would the OR ask for one anyway?

Richard_S

Life is an expensive business, especially for those of us blessed with children , and when you have to sit down and fill in the dreaded Income & Expenditure Forms it's all too easy to forget some item of expenditure that could well come back to haunt you if you're required to pay an IPA.

I've included a list below that is not meant to be all inclusive or even comprehensive; it's just meant as a memory jog. Some items such as Cigarettes and Lottery won't be allowed but if you do indulge you'll need to budget for them and try to hide it somewhere else.

Provisions for things like Holidays and Christmas are not monthly expenses but unless you budget for them the money won't be there when you need it. The same with Household Maintenance, even if you're in Rented Accommodation you're bound to have some expenditure during the year so it's got to be budgeted for.

Don't worry if your I&E A/C shows a negative balance, your response to this is that you're aware of the situation and trying your hardest to reduce costs where ever you can to balance the budget.

Its worth noting that an official receiver may not allow everything but it’s important to include it all to balance your expenditure out.

Richard


Home
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Big One Offs
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Richard_S

wherediditallgo wrote: »

You have every right to revise your SOA, but I would advise a bit of caution on it. Once you've submitted one SOA as part of your original petition, the OR seems to pay intense attention to a revised SOA that results in a major change in the finances. I hope she won't mind me mentioning it, but Neko here submitted one SOA which resulted in an IPA of £156, it was subsequently revised (not all by her) resulting in no IPA. However, the big drop & the revision itself seems to have ended up with her case being given extra attention/monitoring by the ORs staff. No-one wants an IPA, but I advise being careful what you add & to what extent to save yourself possible hassle in the future.

Hi wdiag,

I don't see it as a case of trying to decieve the O.R, as I've said before there's a natural human tendency to underestimate expenditure, and it's too late once you're locked into an IPA to realise that your budget was unrealistic.

If a revision means that you have to go the whole 12months then surely that's better than being discharged after 6months with an IPA that's going to be impossible to pay.

There's no access to credit to help spread the cost of one off big items of expenditure; you need to be generating a cash surplus each month.

Richard

rog2

whitehartman wrote: »

Thanks wdiag,

I also really wanted to know any opinions of, say my son leaves home, would i still go into an IPA.
I was not really thinking of revising the SOA just a back up plan if i was to go into one,or would the OR ask for one anyway?

Hi whm - I see that your thread appears to have diversified into a debate on whether or not children should leave the family home and has, somewhat, detracted from the main point.
However - my reccomendations are to revise your I/E to include ALL of the things that you have mentioned.
It remains my opinion that your son's presence at home should NOT affect the OR's decision as to whether or not you are given an IPO/IPA. What concened me at the beginning, and still concerns me now, is the fact that the OR appears to be 'dictating' the level of contribution that he SHOULD be making, towards the household income - your son's personal circumstances are of NO concern to the OR - his income is irrelevant (and none of the OR's business) - It just seems that the OR is 'bullying' you into increasing your son's level of contribution in order to push your disposable income to the point where an IPO/IPA is inevitable.
For that reason - I would suggest that it would be better for all concerned if your son DID move out.

wherediditallgo

Richard_S wrote: »

Hi wdiag,

I don't see it as a case of trying to decieve the O.R, as I've said before there's a natural human tendency to underestimate expenditure, and it's too late once you're locked into an IPA to realise that your budget was unrealistic.

If a revision means that you have to go the whole 12months then surely that's better than being discharged after 6months with an IPA that's going to be impossible to pay.

There's no access to credit to help spread the cost of one off big items of expenditure; you need to be generating a cash surplus each month.

Richard

I totally agree with you. I'm just saying to bear in mind possible repercussions from revising the SOA, taking into account whatever circumstances already exist. Everyone's case is going to be different.

rog2

blind-as-a-bat wrote: »

I totaly agree with rog2 about the bullying tactics being used here in fact i would be tempted to make an official complaint about it ..........but i dont think any of us that are BR (including me) would risk it wich is why they can get away with it:rolleyes:

I would risk it ba - everyone is entitled to fair and unbiased treatment by the Insolvency Service, and I don't think that a complaint, through the official channels, should prejudice the OP's case. However, I do accept that 'personalities' seem to be prevalent in the OP's case, hence my final sentence.
I remain of the opinion that it is unfair.

wherediditallgo

blind-as-a-bat wrote: »

I totaly agree with rog2 about the bullying tactics being used here in fact i would be tempted to make an official complaint about it ..........but i dont think any of us that are BR (including me) would risk it wich is why they can get away with it:rolleyes:

I agree with you. Although it might not seem like it at the time, we're actually in a privileged position, because we have loads of support on this forum, CCCS people actually reading & posting, & people who've already been through BR to ask for advice & give the benefit of their experience. The more info we pass on, the less fearful those reading it will hopefully be. But if we, even armed with so much info, aren't willing to risk complaining about such behaviour, it's no wonder those who don't use forums like this one won't. The person who makes one call at most to an advisory body, is worried sick about the process & never goes on a forum, & then gets spoken to in this way this is likely to think the OR has the right to dictate to them to this degree how they should run their home & family unit.

I probably would complain about it, but that's because I know the OR has overstepped the mark (plus I can be a mouthy piece of work at times ). Those without the knowledge would probably just go along with it, either telling their child the OR says they've got to pay it (& then have to deal with the fallout from that) or worry themselves silly about what the OR might do if they don't get the money. Either way, it's extra pressure that none of them need.