New Alcohol self help

brodev

My memories of the pain that drink caused me helped to keep me sober, but they only helped. I had these memories since I started drinking but somehow or another I always managed to persuade myself that it wouldn't happen this time and that they weren't that bad really. I needed something to break this cycle. I needed something positive as well as the negative memories. I found my positivity in the program of recovery in AA. I also needed the physical support of other AA members. People that I could run to when the going got too tough for me to handle on my own. As time went by it got easier but it never went away. One day I would be fine as I had been for the previous weeks then, it was as sudden as a slap in the face, I would be nervous, apprehensive, afraid and full of doubt. I would be longing for that comfort that a drink had once given me. I don't believe I would have survived that on my own.

feelinggood_2

don't know what to do - I'm working my way though my list and making ammends. I'm praying, doing service, reaching out to newcomers, getting to meetings and sharing.

I suppose I just need to accept that I'm right where I'm supposed to be, pray for patience and guidance and keep doing the right things?

brodev

feelinggood wrote: »

don't know what to do - I'm working my way though my list and making ammends. I'm praying, doing service, reaching out to newcomers, getting to meetings and sharing.

I suppose I just need to accept that I'm right where I'm supposed to be, pray for patience and guidance and keep doing the right things?

I was told to be careful of what I prayed for. If I prayed for strength I may be sent difficulties which would give me strength when I strived to overcome them. Likewise Patience, lots of argumentative and surly people could be sent across my path and I would have to learn patience to deal with them. Feelie you are doing all the right things and you are getting better, it is just taking a bit of time for you to FEEL better. They say that 2 hands are better than 1 so if you don't object I'll say a prayer for you as well.

suki1964

feelinggood wrote: »

don't know what to do - I'm working my way though my list and making ammends. I'm praying, doing service, reaching out to newcomers, getting to meetings and sharing.

I suppose I just need to accept that I'm right where I'm supposed to be, pray for patience and guidance and keep doing the right things?

I think you just have to have faith that doing what you are doing will get you through.

I do know where you are coming from though. I felt like that for my first two years and of course I picked up again. Now for me I "needed" that slip, it was that slip that showed me that I was an alcoholic and it was then I stopped being a dry drunk and got into recovery

jo1972

Well as I said earlier, it's day 3 for me today. Been wobbling all day but am now on the home straight as I don't have the opportunity to get anything to drink tonight now so I feel the pressure is off slightly. Earlier, I actually had a fleeting feeling of excitement of waking up sober tomorrow, don't even remember experiencing that before!

brodev

keep up the good work jo

suffolkb

During my drinking years (decades), I managed to cause severe heart failure and am now unable to find work in this area that I can actually do. So, I decided to apply to university to retrain. I just received an unconditional offer to go to Queen Mary uni in London. My first thought was "If only I was still drinking, I could celebrate now." No matter how bad things have been recently, I have not thought of a drink. But when good news arrived, I immediately thought of the "good times". In reality, there were very few of those, and that`s what I must remember.

brodev

Congratulations Suffolk on being accepted for University.
It is funny that we all have our different soft spots. As you say you seem to be more vulnerable when you have something to celebrate. I, on the other hand, was always, most at risk when things were going badly. We all have to learn about ourselves so that we can take the correct precautions. Learning about others helps too as it made me aware that although I could be different to some I was also very similar to others.

lewt

nice one on the uni thing suf. i'm just about to take my level 2 councilling exam. only 3 days till i fly to hong kong.
must admit i aint been myself lately. since xmas time. had alot going on and last night spent alot of time doing the work on p69. its been a tough time and the addict in be as been cunning as hell. along with my unwillingness to do the work required to stay in fit condition i have been very into myself, think that kinda shows by my lack posts on here. been spending like mad too, and have brought more watches than i have arms for.... alot more. but even that wasnt enough to show me that i wasnt right, it was only the emense pain i felt from thurs that give me the kick up the !!!! needed to do the work.
It's re-instated to me how important it is is follow the clear instructions set out. i aint going to beat myself up over it ive done the work i'll hare it with my sponser later today and make the ammends needed when i see the people involved which will be asap. and i know form my past experince that i'll be feeling on top of the world in no time. as soon as i put pen to paper i felt better, but in the maddness of the last three months that addict in side me has been telling me writing wont make a difference. Funny how the addict in us, our voice and our HP all have the same voice aint it.....
All i can do is learn from it and move on.

I've been given a promaotion at work to for when i get back and it seems im being fast tracked to management. which for someone who 2 years ago was crawling around on their hands and knees looking for chemical while throwing up bile and reaching is not to bad.

hope everyone elseis ok, i'm going to check out what the chinese people do meditaion wise i think there is a lot to be learnt out that way.... may even become a monk lol

well thats me and i apoligise for not being as active as i have been.
basic message here is things do get bad in recovery, but put in the work and it drasticly improves.....

shazrobo

hi all, thought i better start posting in here again, i have well and truly fallen off the wagon, and want to get back on to it asap.
in my favour though, i have given up smoking again, onto day 4 with that, and desperatly wanna stop drinking again, before it gets too out of hand, been drinking every night for the last week.
well done to everyone else who is managing to stay off the drink,
and big hugs to everyone that needs one
shaz xx