New Alcohol self help

annapantscats

I always found one of the worse things about being actively alcoholic was the loneliness. It was overwhelming, terrifying and nearly led me to suicide on many occasions. Obviously I always knew that there were alcoholics out there, but I didnt know there were people who thought and felt the same way as I did. I constantly felt defective, wrong, damaged and horrifically isolated. It was a huge relief when I found people who were just like me (bless um :rotfl: ). Being ble to tell someone what I was thinking, without them looking at me as if I was insane, or running away in fear, was wonderful.

Going to have a check up at your doctors is not a bad idea. For many years into my sobriety I worried that I had done myself some serious physical damage (other than the obvious scars, bumps to the head etc etc). So I had a liver function test, amongst other things, to put my mind at rest. Thankfully that test was clear (though God only knows how....I was on a bottle of spirits a day for many years). I have always been underweight (food issues), aneamic (sp?) etc...but at least now I know that things are not as bad as they could have been.

Anyway.... I have quite a busy day ahead. I knew the biker who was shot dead on the M40 last month and will be attending his funeral tomorrow, so my partner and I have to go out and about later today to organise a few things, see if anyone needs a lift etc. Obviously tomorrow is not something I am looking forward to....but at least I know I can be of use to other people and behave in a dignified, appropriate way. None of which I could do if I was still drinking.

suffolkb

Thank you AnnaP. Your first paragraph explains perfectly what many (most?) of us felt. And drinking on those feelings did not make them go away. Quite the contrary.
I went to a new AA meeting and was asked to tell my story to the group. I talked about the constant fear I used to feel. After the meet, most of the people there came up and told me that they had all felt that fear to some degree.
I am another poster who suggests going to AA. You may hate it, but please give it a try. We all had our preconceptions of what going to AA meant. I assumed it was like joining the Sally Army and I`d never have any fun again. And I was having so much fun lying drunk in my squalor wasn`t I?.
But whatever path suits you, you don`t have to go back to those dark places.
Keep well.

annapantscats

Hiya Suffolkb :wave:
I just want to clarify that I have nothing against AA whatsoever! I got sober thanks to the huge amounts of support and help I got within AA. I went just about every day for 2 years, then about 4 times a week for another 3 years. I have been on many AA camping trips, to the southern national convention 4 times, helped organise my local convention, done lots of prison chairs etc etc. I also volunteered for various posts at meeting and intergroup level, worked for the AA website, made life long friends and will defend AA with a passion. Personally I think AA is amazing.
The point that I have raised in previous posts is that AA may not be right for everyone...and those people should not be judged, belittled or patronised in any way. We are all entitles to travel our own road. I believe that the only thing you can successfully ram down any alcoholics throat is alcohol, so if someone says they dont want to go to, or dont like AA, they should be supported and helped as much as possible, regardless.

I know what you mean about preconceptions though!! I thought it would be all misery, tales of woe and 'Ginger Ale and Jesus' :rotfl: . Or that I would have to fill out a form to see if I qualified, or that every meeting would be full of middle aged, smelly tramps with bits of string holding their trousers up and bottles of meths in paper bags hidden under their chairs!! I sure didnt expect to be sat between a seriously gorgeous, well spoken, well dressed gentleman....and a monk!! (both went on to become good friends of mine!!)

annapantscats

myato wrote: »

(whispers)

hello???????????? anybody here? would you mind if i joined you?

Myato...please do pop in again whenever you fancy a chat or have any questions to ask. The more the merrier!!

myato

thanks. but its not easy. inside my head its saying dont go there.

feelinggood_2

myato wrote: »

thanks. but its not easy. inside my head its saying dont go there.

I think I can understand. When I first started wondering if I had a problem, I was scared that saying it out loud or writing it down would some how make it real, and I sure didn't want that.

If/when you want to talk, the thread is always open

myato

feelinggood wrote: »

I think I can understand. When I first started wondering if I had a problem, I was scared that saying it out loud or writing it down would some how make it real, and I sure didn't want that.

If/when you want to talk, the thread is always open

its not my problems im frightened to face

feelinggood_2

myato wrote: »

its not my problems im frightened to face

Ah. I've never been on that side of things, but I know a few people in this thread have.

It might not be of any interest to you, but there is a 'Friends and Family' chat room here:
http://stepchat.com/

I use the Recovery Chat there and have learnt a lot.

myato

feelinggood wrote: »

Ah. I've never been on that side of things, but I know a few people in this thread have.

It might not be of any interest to you, but there is a 'Friends and Family' chat room here:
http://stepchat.com/

I use the Recovery Chat there and have learnt a lot.

thank you. but as i said. im not frighened of facing my problems.

feelinggood_2

myato wrote: »

thank you. but as i said. im not frighened of facing my problems.

Sorry, I meant to say there friends and family room is for people dealing with someone elses drinking.