New Alcohol self help

suki1964

Peppa, it doesn't matter if he's an alcoholic, what does matter is his drinking is effecting you.

You cant change him hun, all you can do is find support for yourself and I have to agree with Taffy and Babe and urge you to get to Al - Anon asap.

Im not one for big posts (im lousy at expressing myself) so I just have to echo what Taffy has said. If you can go and find the strength you need to make the chnages you have to make for yourself, then you may just find you OH has tagged along for the ride and made change himself.

All the very best hun, and dont ever be ashamed

brodev

Hi Peppa. Most people say things like I/he/she doesn't do this, that or the other therefore cannot be an alcoholic. I believe it is what you/he/she does that counts and not what they don't do. here is a link to the 20 questions that AA uses
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]http://www.southbayaa.org/20questions.htm
I hope they help
[/FONT]

*Peppa*

Hi,

Thanks for the replies. You're all saying the kind of things I'd say to a friend if they were in my situation - why are other people's problems always easier?!

I had a look at the Al-Anon website, and it does talk about a lot of the things I feel. Trouble is, it would be very difficult to go to a meeting without telling him where I'm going. I don't really go out in the evenings, and in the day I have the children. I will keep thinking about it though. The other thing is, it would make the problem more "real" if I went to something like that. . I'm pretty good at ignoring it most of the time. He's generally not a nasty drunk - it's the mere fact that he's drunk I can't stand!! I know there must be people who cope with FAR worse than me.

I had a look at the 20 questions from AA, and even going him the benefit of the doubt on most of them, it would make him an alcoholic.

He had anouther 21 units last night. I know it sounds daft but until I started measuring it I really had no idea how much he drank!!

Thanks again to all of you for taking the time to reply. It's really appreciated. I will have a good think about everything you've said. I'll continue loitering, and may keep posting.

Peppa

loopy_lass

just an update, he still not had a drink. however i am still sometimes taken aback when his behaviour is no different! i guess ya can take the alcohol away and still be left with the behaviour... but boy has Al anon helped me to detach and not to judge...

loops

Taffyscot

loopy_lass wrote: »

just an update, he still not had a drink. however i am still sometimes taken aback when his behaviour is no different! i guess ya can take the alcohol away and still be left with the behaviour... but boy has Al anon helped me to detach and not to judge...


aye loops hes a dry drunk, until he assesses what made him drink and go into making some amends he will still be me me me. Glad you are going to alanon. Keep going it works if you work it. Get yourself better.
taffy

feelinggood_2

I was a dry drunk for 9 months before I persuaded myself to go to an AA meeting! Taking away the alcohol meant I was just as miserable, I had to make a change to my life to make my feelings change. 20 days and its my 2nd Birthday! I'm hoping my Mum hasn't forgotten, she got me a lovely coin last year, and I want another this year!

Bogof_Babe

Ooh congratulations Feely, I somehow thought you'd been dry a lot longer than two years.

How is the baby coming along? Are you feeling well?

feelinggood_2

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Ooh congratulations Feely, I somehow thought you'd been dry a lot longer than two years.

How is the baby coming along? Are you feeling well?

I find out the sex on Saturday!! Can't wait! Physically I'm finding this hard, but emotionally I've never been happier.

Bogof_Babe

Oh that's excellent news - that you've never been happier I mean. Once you know the sex it will become a real person and you'll be able to start buying bits and bobs for it. I hate calling it "it" - are you going to share the gender with your mates here? It won't go any further I promise .

feelinggood_2

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Oh that's excellent news - that you've never been happier I mean. Once you know the sex it will become a real person and you'll be able to start buying bits and bobs for it. I hate calling it "it" - are you going to share the gender with your mates here? It won't go any further I promise .

I was going to keep it a secret, but no-one thinks I'll be able to!