Racial comments at school - how to handle it

Janepig

lulu_92 wrote: »

I too dislike it to an extent, however as someone who is mixed race (some people don't even like that term!) I think it depends on the context in which it was said. I have this discussion with my OH because he thinks the "P" word is okay to say because it's like calling someone a Brit and I disagree because too many people use the "P" word as an insult.

In this case I think that if the lad was being described as Indian, then fair enough it is the blanked out word that needs focusing on. If the lad was being called an "Indian XYZ" with his nationality/race being part of the insult then that's where I have issues with it.

I would say the "P" word is an insult - it's a sort of cover all term, usually of abuse (in my experience anyway) for anyone from Turkey eastwards. It's rarely if ever used simply to explain that someone is from Pakistan.

DUTR wrote: »

Since when? Black people are black people, the last thing they are is coloured.

Not coming from a particularly ethnically diverse area, there was a black woman who used to visit our office, years ago, to do some work in relation to housing or employment or something, can't remember now, and she's one of only two black people I've ever worked with.

Anyway, someone who had never met her and who had a meeting with her was asking us who she was, and myself and my colleagues were like goldfish opening and closing our mouths whilst wondering if it was okay to say "she's the black woman". People working in my organisation have been reported for less! But it's much the same I think as the situation with the OP's son - he's been described as Indian, the problem is he hasn't been described as the "Indian boy", there's a term of abused been used instead of boy.

Would it be okay if the school nurse for instance walked into his classroom and asked the teacher "I'm looking for James, which one is he" and the teacher said "he's the Indian boy over there"?

Jx

SuzieSue

The OP should do whatever her son agrees s/he should do as otherwise he will not confide in you again.

DUTR

Janepig wrote: »

I would say the "P" word is an insult - it's a sort of cover all term, usually of abuse (in my experience anyway) for anyone from Turkey eastwards. It's rarely if ever used simply to explain that someone is from Pakistan.



Not coming from a particularly ethnically diverse area, there was a black woman who used to visit our office, years ago, to do some work in relation to housing or employment or something, can't remember now, and she's one of only two black people I've ever worked with.

Anyway, someone who had never met her and who had a meeting with her was asking us who she was, and myself and my colleagues were like goldfish opening and closing our mouths whilst wondering if it was okay to say "she's the black woman". People working in my organisation have been reported for less! But it's much the same I think as the situation with the OP's son - he's been described as Indian, the problem is he hasn't been described as the "Indian boy", there's a term of abused been used instead of boy.

Would it be okay if the school nurse for instance walked into his classroom and asked the teacher "I'm looking for James, which one is he" and the teacher said "he's the Indian boy over there"?

Jx

What would you have said if the lady concerned was caucasian or in a wheelchair etc?
I don't see why they would be reported (other than for labelling someone) .
The easy way is to just escort the visitor to the person concerned.

sinizterguy

Tell the kid to kick the other in the balls.

That will mark him out as not the easiest target - bully will go find someone else to bother.

Janepig

DUTR wrote: »

What would you have said if the lady concerned was caucasian or in a wheelchair etc?
I don't see why they would be reported (other than for labelling someone) .
The easy way is to just escort the visitor to the person concerned.

That may well be how we dealt with it, I can't remember now, it was so long ago, but it does stick in my mind that we were all wondering if we could get away with referring to her as black. And trust me, where I work, people are reported over piddling stuff you wouldn't believe. It's like PC HQ there!

I've got an Indian colleague, I might ask her for her view on this tomorrow - it's interesting.

Jx

DUTR

Janepig wrote: »

That may well be how we dealt with it, I can't remember now, it was so long ago, but it does stick in my mind that we were all wondering if we could get away with referring to her as black. And trust me, where I work, people are reported over piddling stuff you wouldn't believe. It's like PC HQ there!

I've got an Indian colleague, I might ask her for her view on this tomorrow - it's interesting.

Jx

Please do, prejudice works in strange ways.
The OP may have found little different if they lived in an inner city area and the child went to a school where the majority of pupils were not caucasian. The boy got targeted because he looks different to the majority of others.
The father was right as it is part of his growing up process.

DUTR

sinizterguy wrote: »

Tell the kid to kick the other in the balls.

That will mark him out as not the easiest target - bully will go find someone else to bother.

I doubt it.
I don't know what the xxxxx is in the opening post, you would think that a dual heritage person would get accepted by both caste, however they can be subject to prejudice from both sides.

theoretica

TheEquilibrium wrote: »

It was inevitable really

Son reports that a kid at school is being mean to him. When queried says lad calls him "That Indian xxxxx"

I think it would help if we knew more about the xxx word - is it derogatory and would be called "that xxx" alone be cause for distress?

sinizterguy

DUTR wrote: »

I doubt it.
I don't know what the xxxxx is in the opening post, you would think that a dual heritage person would get accepted by both caste, however they can be subject to prejudice from both sides.

Don't know about the racial slur.

But when I was bullied and just tried to ignore it, it went on and on.

One day I had enough. I snapped. One broken nose and two broken fingers later (none of them mine), nobody bothered me again.

So it definitely worked for me ... That was in boarding school. Dynamics may vary a little in normal day school, but bullying really doesn't change.

JReacher1

The xxxx is obviously an insult. Prefixing an insult with the nationality/race/colour of the person being insulted add that to the insult.

It's racist and offensive.

I realise some people don't see that it is, but these tend to be people who are not insulted with their race/nationality/colour.

As an example you often see people using the insult "you black xxxxx". I think it's very rare you see people using the insult "you white xxxxx".

Therefore calling some a xxxx is offensive. Calling someone a black xxxx is racist and offensive.