Racial comments at school - how to handle it

lulu_92

I had a handful of racist comments throughout my school life and I wish that the school had done more about it.

Then again, these are the same people who made a website dedicated to how they hate me and how I should be dead. The school did nothing about that either.

fivetide

lulu_92 wrote: »

I had a handful of racist comments throughout my school life and I wish that the school had done more about it.

Then again, these are the same people who made a website dedicated to how they hate me and how I should be dead. The school did nothing about that either.

Couldn't read that and run. How awful for you. Just goes to show what horrible people there are in the world.

pollypenny

Another supporter for a quiet word with the school, probably the head of year or house.

I would not go down the road of formal report, as Gwylim suggested. Unfortunately, name calling is part of childhood, but the perpetrator doesn't derserve to be labelled 'racist' at this stage.

I taught in a school with a similar makeup for 20 years. Let the head of house tackle it, certainly in the first instance.

lulu_92

fivetide wrote: »

Couldn't read that and run. How awful for you. Just goes to show what horrible people there are in the world.

Thanks, was about 8 years ago, before all of this crackdown on cyber-bullying. My head of year even said that he couldn't do anything about it, even though the people posting were dumb enough to use their full names! :eek::eek::eek:

I was bullied for about 4 of the 5 years I was at secondary school. My attendance dropped and my mum was ringing the school or coming in at least once a week to sort it out and they did nothing to help me.

I'm hoping that schools have a better anti-bullying policy in place now than they did 10 years ago. Even if it's just bullying and isn't racially aggravated I would be doing exactly what my mum did; making sure the school got to the bottom of it. Schools are meant to make children feel safe and too many of them end up being scared of going out of fear of bullying, etc.

scooby088

Schools do nothing about all forms of bullying they turn a blind eye, even though most schools have a bullying policy, it all seems geared to helpihg the bully and ostracising the victim even more. Afraid i think id take matters into my own hands i would tell the school clearly what i wanted to happen, no quiet words with the school, if nothing is done goto the local authority. From personal experience name calling does lead to physical forms of bullying.

DUTR

TheEquilibrium wrote: »

It was inevitable really

Son reports that a kid at school is being mean to him. When queried says lad calls him "That Indian xxxxx"

Son is 11, and mixed race, other kid and parent is known to us and they were at primary together but never friends.

School is 'good community type' white suburban.

Indian parent says just ignore it, he's just trying to wind you up and will get fed up of it if you don't react. If it starts to bother you or gets worse tell us again and we'll contact the school.

Son doesn't want school contacted, and Indian parent is afraid if it is reported physical violence may ensue and it may all escalate.

White parent kind of agrees but thinks maybe if you let people get away with this stuff it is bad for the school community, may show son as weak (and prompt more nasty stuff). Think it would be good to offer son some alternate strategies to use in this situation if ignoring it doesn't work.
1. Maybe - Tell kid you don't like it and could he stop?
2. Get mutual friend to say much the same to Kid?
3. Tell Kid you don't like it could he stop and if he doesn't kid will tell parents/report to teacher.

Or should we say to son. "We are the adults we'll sort it" and

4 Have a quiet word with parents
5. Have a quiet word with school

I should stress I don't want to blow this up out of proportion as son doesn't appear to be in any distress over it and I recognise that in the scheme of things it's small beer. I think though this will be the first of many and would like the three of us to have a strategy. By the way son is quite capable of saying mean stuff (though not racist) but he is not a fighter.

Has anyone any experience of this kind of stuff?

None of the above really, part of the discrimination comes from home, he is dual heritage , at that age I guess secondary school, in the next couple of years people drift to hang out with people like themselves that share the same interests, white suburban is not always 'good' as you have discovered , often it just means the people there can get credit for an average house price mortgage in a certain affluent ward, but sometimes those wards lack in diverse mentality.
The kids at that age are still in the curiosity stage of someone looking different to what they see as the norm, many will soon want to be his friend when they see he is performing top of the class, at the end of the day though, he is taking an early lesson, that not everyone is going to like another in life.

girlsmum

I work in a Secondary school for the Pastoral Dept and they do take all bullying seriously, racist bullying is logged separately and has to be reported . where i work children who bully and make racist comments are put in Isolation for a day, which is an afternoon session finishing at 5:30 which inconveniences the child and the child's parent, those children who are "trying it on" do not do it again...
Mention it to the School especially if it is continuing, if it was a one of comment and they are OK now, use your judgement just don't leave it to escalate..

toniq

I had loads of it at school, back in the 80's even heard teachers say it, My kids are mixed race and it isn't as bad for them as it was for me thankfully.

By saying something you can cause so many issues that could make matters worse, by not saying something the perpetrator gets away with it.

If it was one of my kids I'd deal with it depending on whether my child could handle the flack or backlash, One of my girls certainly couldn't so I would have told her to turn the other cheek, the other girl of mine would have told them where to get off.

Maybe ask your child what they want to happen and take it from there.

It's a tough one as the racist abuse can really hurt, My kids don't see themselves as mixed race they just see themselves as normal kids like everyone else and it's hardly ever mentioned what colour we are or aren't.

z.n

Another vote for reporting it to the school.

Janepig

fivetide wrote: »

Controversial here but this sounds more like the other kid is simply a bully. The fact his victim happens to be Indian is just the trait they are picking up on.


It wouldn't be any different if it was "That Fat XXXX" or "That Speccy XXXX" or even "That Ginger XXXX"


However, bullying is serious. If it is affecting your son then the school needs to deal with it and should have procedures in place to deal with bullying.


If your son isn't that bothered, has a good group of friends and thinks this is fuss over nothing then, if you trust his judgement, I would be tempted to go with it initially. Keep an eye though and maybe get a copy of the school's bullying policy to talk over with him in case it progresses. The quiet word mentioned above might be a good one too so the school keep an eye out but don't act at this stage.

I would tend to agree with this - I wouldn't necessarily class the use of the word Indian as racist, I would be more worried about whatever the blanked out word was, or if the P word or some other racial slang was used. One to keep an eye on for sure.

Jx