The KonMarie method

silvasava

Loving the philosophies behind the getting rid of items that have negative emotional attachments. So true and often so difficult to put into practice but I'm sure that the thoughts on here have such resonance with us that it helps immensely on our 'journey'
Well, kondoed the birthday basket, a number of home made preserves and a few Christmas cards over the weekend. But did re-aquire my heavy duty sewing machine from my GM! She can no longer use it and it is capable of sewing my sails if necessary. Did have a lovely unexpected Kondo yesterday. DS1 had told a friend that I had a bike to get rid of & he came round & bought it! DH also found the two sets of panniers and a rack that he gave him as well! Not much but KM is gradually seeping in to DH consciousness
Have a great KM day all x

VJsmum

dragonette wrote: »

The girls can't tidy as they don't know where everything lives, and I want to tidy so their time is used for the cleaning help I need

keep going with the Kondoing because i happened to say to OH last week "have you noticed that we don't have to tidy for the cleaner any more"? :T Massive progress in the VJ household.

The cleaner is likely to get Kondoed next month anyway, when the job goes - DS has agreed to do the lounge he uses (we have two ) and his bedroom and OH will push the hoover round the other rooms and mop floors, I will do the bathrooms, kitchen and the rest of the dusting. This will save £120 a month :eek: - enough for a holiday. It will take the same time as we used to spend tidying......

Karmacat

Thanks for all the posts on unhappy memories, it's helped me today.

I just got rid of a little bowl - nothing much, just a single bowl. It got chipped recently, it's never stacked properly with the rest of my bowls, it can't be stood up in the dishwasher - it stands out like a sore thumb, basically, and it was bought for me by a friend of 25 years who kondoed me earlier this year. She got cancer, a highly treatable form, and didn't want to deal with anyone else's stories. Fair enough, I kept sending her positive vibes as she requested.

And then she got back in touch to do the thing we used to do, for which I charged her mates rates (about 20% of the going rate). I told her I couldn't do it in the same way, as I'd been ill, but I could do it in another way, less time intensive but hopefully with the same result. Never heard anything from her again, not even a quick email to say that wasn't convenient for her. She posted on facebook recently about a Disney holiday to Florida, so she's out and about, but nothing direct. Me and a mutual friend have tried to contact her by phone to support her, she makes excuses and rings off straight away.

So that's it. I put the bowl in the bin (its so badly chipped I can't take it to the charity shop) and I've amended the Xmas card list. If she sends me one, I'll send one back, but after ten months of actively refusing contact, I think I know where I stand. I just haven't wanted to accept it before today.

It's an odd feeling. I wanted to support her, and she didn't want me to. Its made me feel like I've done something wrong, and I just don't know what it was, she's always turned to me for help before. It's a much bigger deal than a single little bowl

Sorry this is so long. But MK is deep!

VJsmum

Aw Karmacat - <<hugs>>

Sometimes it really can be a "It's not you, It's me" thing...

greent

I had something bad happen at the beginning of this year - and it's been affecting me for most of the year. I can't kondo everything to do with this bad thing but I have tried to get rid of some of the thngs but have kept some because they are 'practical', 'too good to get rid of' etc - no more - if seeing something actually makes me feel physically sick or sad enough to make me cry, then it has to go - even if it's not mine (as is the case for one major trigger thing) I may have to kondo some photos of happy events/ times where sad things (reminders) are pictured in them too - but so be it.


2015 has been a not-that-nice year for me and I know that I shall find the start of 2016 hard as anniversary dates fall - but these will fall every year and it's up to me how I deal with them. I know I am holding onto negative things - ultimately I am punishing/ torturing (strong words, but they fit!) myself in doing so. And that's not healthy!


Just started tipping it down here and the wind's got up too. Stay safe and warm, everyone!


xx

maddiemay

May I send collective pats on the back for those that are achieving good things and very gentle cyber hugs for others that are going through bad times or sadly being reminded of unhappy things from the past.

Sometimes we have to be kind to ourselves and try and put certain things away in a little compartment firmly in the past, or perhaps somehow just waft it into the atmosphere and ask the universe to take care of it for us.

This week is the anniversary of the death of a female friend who I knew for just a couple of years. In my consignment to the CS today were 2 items of costume jewelery which were gifts from her, although nice, they were things I did not wear. I was not being unfeeling by not keeping them, I will always have memories of some good times, but there was a lot more sorrow and helplessness at my inability to change anything for the better for her. Think serious eating disorder of 30 years! death was inevitable it was just a question of how long the body could keep going. I am glad that she is at rest from all the mental torment now. Could I have done any more, well I have thought long and hard and the answer is a resounding NO:( It took me a while to get there though.

Sorry for the :(:(:(:(, and thanks all for being out there:)

allybee101

Hugs from me too.
I will be quite pleased to get 2015 behind me. There has been a lot of sadness (and some positives too) which need leaving behind in the past.
I think one of the things that has helped is getting rid of so much stuff. I can't begin to remember how much stuff I have let go off - both physical possessions and emotional clutter. Still a way to go but it does feel like it's getting better.
I am still an untidy person (PollyWollyDoddle, your post totally resonated with me!), but it is getting a bit better.

hebwood

Hi everyone


Well done Mav. and Polly.
Hugs to Karmacat and anyone who needs them.


I got the Karen Kingston book a few years ago, and it certainly resonates with KMing - especially items with the wrong associations.
I have still to do some major categories but the areas I have done and gently chipping away at the rest has made me feel much better. As has been said - its a different mindset.


Take care. H.

MMF007

So many interesting personal resonances today.

It is important to remeber why we have all 'met' on this forum, because we are on the KM journey! I know the word journey is much over used lately but as the experience is a sort of slow progress (except for Mavvy and a few others!), with some interesting diversions along the way, why not call it that.

I have a small ornament that I bought on a holiday of a lifetime. The item is past best and could do with repairing if it is tp last. DH picked it up yester and asked if I would try a repair. For a moment I considered throwing it away, after all, I have the memory of that amazing holiday. But I asked DH if he would still think of that lovely place if we didn't have that ornament on the window cill and he said, 'Not as often'. So it's staying DH was right.

That is just the same issue many were mentioning above, the items themselves cannspark joyful memories or sad / angry /upsetting memories. I am certainly not holding onto anything with negative vibes! I have just taken another 2 bags to the tip and one to CS (feels good, definitely lighter in this house now), in the CS bag was a very very pretty set of pottery cups, given to me bya friend who I have supported through lots of tough times. The reason they are going is because I never use them and they don't stack properly and fall all over the place. But.... as I was holding them, deciding what to do, I realised that they also give me sad thoughts. This friend had emailed me a few months ago to tell me I had upset her with something I had written in prev corres (she didn't disclose what!).

I wracked my brains but had no idea what I could have said, certainly I would never do that on purpose and as I know how fragile she is I am always extra careful with what I write to her. All I could do was offer profuse apologies, explain that it was nothing deliberate and must have been either a typo or an unfortunate attempt at humour, whatever it was.

I have heard nothing more from her. So after years of trying really hard to be a friend to her, she and the pottery are Kondo'd. interestingly DH said, I don't know why you were her friend anyway, she was just too much hard work!!

So, a soul searching few days or weeks for everyone? As GQ and others have said, no need to hang on to the negative, just accept that we have all been through upsets but we don't have to let a picture or any items shout out a reminder everytime we enter the room or open a cupboard. It's our home, we are in charge, not some inanimate object!! I wonder if the amazing Caesar the Dog Whisperer would have anything to say about how we are letting these objects dictate how we feel?? :eek:

Those who are about to take control back from cluttered hallways and bedrooms, don't beat yourself up, start small, and do you know what? You, that is YOU, will, yes WILL, make a difference and your life will improve. It is definitely WOO

if it is the thought of getting stsrted that is putting you off*, just do one day at it and see how much difference it makes.
*I once bought wallpaper and kept it in the kitchen for 18 months before I dared to unroll it and start measuring and cutting :rotfl: When it was done it looked great but that's quite a long time to convince yourself you can do it!

Sorry for mega post. So much of what folk are saying resonates with me.

Congrats, hugs and strength to All,

M

VJsmum

greent wrote: »

2015 has been a not-that-nice year for me and I know that I shall find the start of 2016 hard as anniversary dates fall - but these will fall every year and it's up to me how I deal with them. I know I am holding onto negative things - ultimately I am punishing/ torturing (strong words, but they fit!) myself in doing so. And that's not healthy!

Sunday just gone was the 6th anniversary of losing my mum but, for the first time, whilst it will never be OK, it was OK if you see what i mean. But it has taken 6 years to get there - I will always miss her, but it's OK. Also for the first time in that 6 years, I am looking forward to christmas - because I am not overthinking it and not dreading loads of stuff entering the house. Mainly cos it won't and nearly all that is, is consumable. Except for a bluddy great big electric guitar for DS :eek: but he does get such joy from them - I believe he is getting, what is known as, Guitar Acquisition Syndrome.....

Bought a fabulous Rohan top in a chazzer today - £4 :T and a couple of books for 50p each. They would have been triple that in a chain chazzer but in the little town i was in, prices are slashed.

I have just returned from a fantastic 3 mile walk along the beach. had everything thrown at me bar snow - wind, rain, sun, foam. No one in sight for the whole length, the sky was amazing colours as the sun was setting. Fabulous. To think people pay a fortune to go sweat it out in a gym.

I am having a one day holiday at the seaside - a lie in, a leisurely breakfast, a browse of the high street, a blow along the beach and Jane Eyre live in the cinema (NT live thing) tonight.... Wonderful..