The KonMarie method

silvasava

Thank you all so much for discussing various ideas for funerals & big thank you to Polly as I didn't know you could have an unattended cremation - will file that for future reference!
Hebwood - you touched on the subject of shrouds - my Mum made them during the war. I asked her once if it was a depressing job & she said no because they were made from beautiful fabrics and she said she was happy that someone would be wearing something lovely when they were buried., so when she died I made her shroud that was actually a Kimono pattern & I used some lovely fabric - it just felt right that she should go with something wrapped round her that was made with love. So if anyone prefers it - you can make your own!
On that happy note - I'm still sorting the clothes!!!

lollyfin

When I pop off I want any organs or useful bits removed and what's left buried as cheaply as possible under a tree .

I finished my paperwork the other day but was left with two black bags of stuff to get rid of and wasn't sure what to do with it but had LBM today and remembered we have a chimera in the garden. So today I went back through it all again and stuff with nothing personal on it went to paper recycling and things with names account numbers etc I started burning. Got half the personal stuff done before I started to go numb with cold so will hopefully finish it off tomorrow.
It's very strange but I'm actually feeling lighter around my shoulders as if a weight has gone that I didn't realise was there. I'm not finished Kondoing yet but am about 3/4 of the way through and am so delighted with the results. I have been ill the last couple of weeks and haven't got much clearing out done and no cleaning at all really but I wouldn't be embarrassed at all if someone unexpectedly visited because the place still looks good

System

There are really very few rules about what you have to do. You can have a shroud, not a coffin; you can be buried in your own garden although there's a bit of paperwork (and it might impact on the future value of the house!); you can hold a funeral service anywhere not just a church or chapel; you can take the body to the crematorium in an estate car if you want. Now, I'm not anti Funeral Directors - most people don't want to do all this themselves, FDs have a lot of knowledge and experience and will take care of all the details for you, and most of us would like a dignified occasion for their loved ones. But there are lots of options - you can order a cardboard coffin over the Internet, with your own design. Direct cremation, where nobody attends, is much cheaper, and it's also cheaper to have a slot early or late in the day. You only get 25 minutes at a crematorium, but you could hire somewhere else for a service and have as long as you want ... There's so much I could say on this, but the Natural Death Centre has lots of information.

Thats hubby sorted then. He can be cremated in a shroud chucked in the back of our sons car after having a 25 minute service in his shed (he'd love that)

Humour aside, thanks for the info.

jinny

Thanks for the info Polly
Death is natural like birth
Why does it cost so much?
I don't have a problem talking about it
Some feel the funeral is part of the grieving process
It's good there are alternative ways to say goodbye

I've heard your ashes can be shot into space
Or turned into a diamond!

Debsnewbudget

My DH and I have used my recent inheritance to pay for our funerals. We have done wills and power of attorneys. We have written down what we want to happen with our funerals and ashes.
Every year just after Christmas we update our dying tidily log which has all the information on of friends to contact, bank accounts, insurances, NI number, driving licence number gas electric mobile provider etc etc
One thing we are adding this year is our last job title as we really didnt know what to put for mum who had not worked for over 50 years.

Having attended nine - yes nine, funerals this year we have taken the best from each and tried to mitigate the worst bits we have seen .

GreyQueen

I'm very much for talking about these things. I sometimes deal with the bereaved in the course of my work and the amount of people who are 80+ and don't have a Will and who have never discussed funeral arrangements with their families, and who have their homes rammed with Stuff.....

It breaks your heart to talk to their exhausted, stressed and grieving relatives.

My own family aren't immune from this particular blindspot. One of my octogenarian relatives, who was in poor health and whose husband was in a care home with dementia, was always talking about 'getting things sorted out' and had been talking about it for 30+ years.

She was 83, being visited by Mum, still talking about sorting herself out when she dropped down dead with an aneurism. The closest relatives were her nephews, her husband not having competance, and sorting everything out was a nightmare - no Will, either.

I've been having a bit of a ropy day, as came down with a migraine first thing and am starting the symptoms of a cold this evening, but that's life. I have warmth and food (and a clear tabletop!) and all is well.

I popped out on an errand and came back in and discovered two items of post. I noted a hospital date and filed the appt letter and voted in the union ballot, recycled the guff and posted the ballot on the way out on a second errand. Those items barely drew breath before they were processed, darlings.:rotfl:

Minimise-to-Maximise

GreyQueen wrote: »

I popped out on an errand and came back in and discovered two items of post. I noted a hospital date and filed the appt letter and voted in the union ballot, recycled the guff and posted the ballot on the way out on a second errand. Those items barely drew breath before they were processed, darlings.:rotfl:

You model of efficiency GQ! Mind you I'm not doing too bad myself - got a call checking whether the phone directory had been delivered. Had to confess I wasn't sure as everything like that is immediately put straight in recycling. She said she'd put me down as a yes to avoid getting sent another. :rotfl:

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi all

I havent been around here for a bit so I am glad to see the thread is still alive and well. I started this process in January and it has made a huge difference to my life. I needed to find some important paperwork quickly yesterday and found it in seconds.

I know you are supposed to do this once and then its done but I am actually itching to redo the process. After all you do accumulate things that are no longer needed (outgrown kids clothes, electric chargers that no longer have a purpose, magazines and books that brought you joy the first time around). I also think that once you have done it you really start to understand why it's such a worthwhile thing to do and I think I can be even more ruthless now.

We hope to move house in the next couple of years which gives us more of a focus too.

I just hope I dont get lots of "stuff" for Christmas this year. I have dropped enough hints about the useful sort of things that I would like if people really want to buy me things!

GreyQueen

Minimise-to-Maximise wrote: »

You model of efficiency GQ! Mind you I'm not doing too bad myself - got a call checking whether the phone directory had been delivered. Had to confess I wasn't sure as everything like that is immediately put straight in recycling. She said she'd put me down as a yes to avoid getting sent another. :rotfl:

The normal way of dealing with the union ballot would to have slung it on the sofa or tabletop to deal with later, keep passing it over, get niggled every time I saw it, pass it over again and eventually open it to find the deadline to return it had passed. And then feel bad about being such a useless tool............ so a turnaround within an hour of postie's normal delivery time is a record-breaker for me.:p

I'm finding that trying to stop things getting sticky is the key. Once they have adhered themselves to the furniture or flooring, they start to take on a protective colouration, become invisible, and then lurk for years.

I've just responded to a freegler about something I offered within the last hour. I won't be specific as it's a large group and a bit of a RL identifier. But it was something which I was given last Sunday, by a pal's mother, for me to use, and which I wouldn't have asked for, but was put on the spot. Lovely generous lady, didn't want to give offense.

Thought about the item during the week. I could have made use of it, but by really stretching the boundaries of what I wanted to do, and I realised I was trying to rationalise the ownership of something I didn't want to own. And that the lovely lady had decluttered onto me, which had given her the good feelings, and I could try to declutter onto someone else, and then I can have good feelings and they can have something they've chosen and want.

So off onto freegle it went. Might leave tonight, who knows (have an outdoor hidey-hole for freeglers to self-serve from, so not bothered).

Siebrie

Any paperwork delivered to the house gets sorted immediately. Leaflets and envelopes go into a cardboard box in the kitchen, invoices are paid immediately, and important dates are put on the kitchen calendar, my diary, and in my phone, anything that needs to be filled in and returned gets put aside to be dealt with in the evening when dds are in bed.

Why the cardboard box for paper recycling is in the kitchen? After trying several other places in the house (hallway, office ), it turned out to be the best place to deal with paperwork. As soon as the box is full, it gets closed and put in the garage for the monthly pick-up.

Paid invoices, however, are a different matter; they get piled everywhere in the office