The KonMarie method

GreyQueen

:j I'm a happy bunny today, and happier still for popping online and reading your testemonials to kondoing.

Yesterday, I was out of the house at 8.30 am for work, back in for 1.5 hours late afternoon, and then out until 10.35 pm. I got loads done and didn't exhaust myself. For an ME person, this is miraculous.

First off, everything in the flat was orderly for the workweek, which meant I left in good time. I visited my pals at their shop on the way home from work for a natter and came in with a bunch of aspargus they'd given me. Went straight out again to pick up the prescription which should've been ready last Friday, but I forgot about until Saturday. Bit of a queue at the reception desk, and GP hadn't done it. No biggie, I'm not stressed, I will try again today after work.

Home, quickly cook a meal, change clothes and chat to family on the phone, eat, wash dishes, small rest to settle this light meal, saddle the pushbike and up to the allotment by 6pm. Weed for 1.25 hrs and then scrub up and go to friends on the way home; I twigged I could do this and use the commuting-to-friends-on-foot energy budget into a cycling-to-lottie-and-diversion-on-return energy budget.

It's worked really well. And, because I knew it'd be full dark by the time I left friend's place, I would need my bike lights for the first time in a year and yes, they were exactly where I had put them and I could drop my hands on them in a minute.

By orgaising, and thinking about how I was living my life, I was able to get so much more done than normal, and to spend a blissful hour-and-a-bit out in the fresh air of a sunny-but-cool June evening. I feel better about myself as I weeded 2 rows of seedlings, and I didn't sacrifice time with friends or time with my lottie.

I also discovered that I can read my favourite online essayist and knit at the same time yesterday morning before work.

All these things make me very happy. I've come to the conclusion that, despite ME and a few other challenges, my default setting is Tigger and I'm a happy person, unless someone/ something is actively making me unhappy. That's a revelation, as I have struggled with this in the past, including having a near-breakdown in my first year as a student, what the GP described as a nervous collapse. I never want to be so stressed that I lose a stone in a week, but I've learned what makes me happy and to focus on that.

**********

I share some of your misgivings about the MK shopping article but I just shrugged. She's probably a pretty rich woman now, and can afford the excess laundry of wearing white, and to wear fancy clothes. Good for her; in doing what she loves, this goofball has made it possible for an awful lot of people to make very positive changes to their lives. If you can get well-renumerated for doing something so positive, all to the good.

But yeah, baby+white clothes = gonna be interesting to see that pan out. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

mrs-moneypenny

Morning all
Hope everyone is well
Lovely blue skies here, but busy day so not much kondoing will realistically be achieved.
I've had a dress on that I'd kept when I kondoed my clothes but I kept it for the wrong reasons, it's easy to wear and doesn't need ironing BUT it doesn't bring me joy and I don't feel nice in it so it's in the laundry now and will go in the Cs bag when it's dry. However I did buy a dress at the carboot on Sunday and I love it-it's a sort of 50s style blue and white floral print that just makes me smile. A definite joy bringer.
It's the school fete soon so I'm going to try and find things to take to that over the next 3 weeks. Dh has said he will sort through the DVDs and let some go to it.
Main task today is hair appt then extra work so busy as I said earlier, have a good day all.

mavvymoo

iQueen wrote: »

Thank you, Jinny. :T

You've always sounded pretty sorted to me! I used to really envy you and later, GreyQueen, when I first joined the thread - struggling to kondo and yet, happy with your lives! Now, I'm there myself (although the house is still plodding to catch me up!)

I can't understand how LIBERATED I feel. It's as if someone waved a magic wand and said you will never worry again. It was an overnight epiphany, literally. :shocked:

I still have one major RL problem, which could make me homeless (and the junk! Yay!), but I don't care! (I have two friends, who will put me up for a while, and my doc will rent me a caravan on his farm!) :rotfl:

It amazes me that after living in the doldrums for quite a few years, suddenly, I'm in the sunlight again. I did have a blip a couple of weeks ago, but I refused to let this new happiness go.

I think it comes from accepting my life for what it is, and has been. Now, I'm contented. What more could I want?

I can identify with the carp that we let other people get away with towards us. I was over-defensive and argued my corner. So, exhausting! Now, I can see that I don't have to justify anything, and I refuse to let people manipulate or bully me. If they don't like my boundaries - that's their problem!

Thank you for helping to light my way.

Its me again with an overwelming desire to comment once again on your post iQueen

Snap Snap and Snap ! You have hit the nail on the head for me in this post as this is so true for me as well.

We might also have to move as a RL person who owns every bit of land around us (FIL) Has decided he is going to sell up . Which would put us in a really difficult postion.Every offer we have made him to buy just a small bit to protect our privacy has been agreed then he has changed his mind. Told people we are trying to rip him off. DH has been so upset about it as so was I. Our problem is we really didnt know this man at all and didnt realise he was a liar and an idiot and believed what he was telling us. We have helped him time and time again with time effort and money.

After KM I just see him as a silly old man who I will never trust as long as I live. Draining us and just sucking the life out of us ! I spend as little time with him as I can and dont worry about his problems any more like I used too:) I feel free of all the ties that once held me there.

I dont care what he does who he sells to and what they do with it.Once it bothered me so much I would lie awake thinking about it Now I would be happy in a caravan just like you iQueen In fact I would go as far to say I would love it and thanks to KM and everyone on here.I would be moved in and settled within 2 hours

If he now said we could buy it for a £1 I would tell him to stick it where the sun dont shine Laugh and and walk away leaving him standing there.
So yes LIBERATED is how I feel !
I hope you dont lose your home iQueen but I know you will be fine and joyful where ever you end up same as I would.

We have come to far now to let anyone or anything destroy our happiness, future, life, and mental being ! And my God they are not going too I promise

Mav x

iQueen

GreyQueen wrote: »

:j I'm a happy bunny today, and happier still for popping online and reading your testemonials to kondoing.

Yesterday, I was out of the house at 8.30 am for work, back in for 1.5 hours late afternoon, and then out until 10.35 pm. I got loads done and didn't exhaust myself. For an ME person, this is miraculous.

First off, everything in the flat was orderly for the workweek, which meant I left in good time. I visited my pals at their shop on the way home from work for a natter and came in with a bunch of aspargus they'd given me. Went straight out again to pick up the prescription which should've been ready last Friday, but I forgot about until Saturday. Bit of a queue at the reception desk, and GP hadn't done it. No biggie, I'm not stressed, I will try again today after work.

Home, quickly cook a meal, change clothes and chat to family on the phone, eat, wash dishes, small rest to settle this light meal, saddle the pushbike and up to the allotment by 6pm. Weed for 1.25 hrs and then scrub up and go to friends on the way home; I twigged I could do this and use the commuting-to-friends-on-foot energy budget into a cycling-to-lottie-and-diversion-on-return energy budget.

It's worked really well. And, because I knew it'd be full dark by the time I left friend's place, I would need my bike lights for the first time in a year and yes, they were exactly where I had put them and I could drop my hands on them in a minute.

By orgaising, and thinking about how I was living my life, I was able to get so much more done than normal, and to spend a blissful hour-and-a-bit out in the fresh air of a sunny-but-cool June evening. I feel better about myself as I weeded 2 rows of seedlings, and I didn't sacrifice time with friends or time with my lottie.

I also discovered that I can read my favourite online essayist and knit at the same time yesterday morning before work.

All these things make me very happy. I've come to the conclusion that, despite ME and a few other challenges, my default setting is Tigger and I'm a happy person, unless someone/ something is actively making me unhappy. That's a revelation, as I have struggled with this in the past, including having a near-breakdown in my first year as a student, what the GP described as a nervous collapse. I never want to be so stressed that I lose a stone in a week, but I've learned what makes me happy and to focus on that.

**********

I share some of your misgivings about the MK shopping article but I just shrugged. She's probably a pretty rich woman now, and can afford the excess laundry of wearing white, and to wear fancy clothes. Good for her; in doing what she loves, this goofball has made it possible for an awful lot of people to make very positive changes to their lives. If you can get well-renumerated for doing something so positive, all to the good.

But yeah, baby+white clothes = gonna be interesting to see that pan out. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Welcome, supersaver! :coffee:

cpt574 - I was brought up in an era when, as a child, you wore what what you had bought or made for you (or hand-me-downs!) In your mid teens it was the same, but you suddenly, were dressed like your mother, whatever her taste (or lack of!) :rotfl:

Any style I developed was originally '50s classic' (mother-smart), then hippie, when I cut loose! Since then, no style, except a vague 'age appropriate' hippie hang-over. Fashion doesn't interest me, even though I studied Dress Design at Art College! :eek:

I think the MK process can leave some of us having to re-think our style, which can make the clothes category a bit bewildering, and we may need time to adjust. Also, just because we are (hopefully) full of Joy, doesn't mean that our daily clothes choice will be fixed: we can still have different (happy) moods?

VJsmum - 'Preachy Mum' from 6000 miles? I don't think so. It is your home! I'm sure if she were living in HK long-term and you were back home, you would only be 'offering advice'!

Yesterday, I avoided an appeal from my pregnant, youngest daughter for advice from her FB friends, on a 'baby travel system'! :doh::undecided I had a carry-cot and transporter, and I know when I'm out of my depth! :rotfl:

GreyQueen - Your post chimed with the Radio 4 Thought for the Day, this morning, in several ways.

Lord Singh was addressing the the question of teen depression, which I know, from teaching 14-18 year-olds, is very serious. I recognised from my own experience as a teen depressive, that at least 2 students in every class of 30 that I taught ,were suffering, in a 'good' State school.

One of Lord Singh's points was that we need to find a balance in life, by identifying the important versus the trivial things. Very Kondo!

Your detailed post of your activities yesterday, shows that thinking more deeply, being organised, and planning carefully, can yield a well-balanced, more fulfilling and happier life, despite our disabilities or other difficulties.

I would add, re: other people, that I have kondoed either the people, or the feelings that their behaviour used to engender in me. I no longer allow them to make me feel unhappy - I ignore it: their attitudes are their problem, not mine.

Kondoing teaches us these things, if we take the time to think more deeply about what brings us JOY, in life.

Make your day JOYFUL, Konverts!

(I'm joyfully continuing to kondo books, even though I'm also a trained librarian! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:)

jinny

Lots of lovely posts on here today. I have a lot on my plate caring for someone severely mentally ill professional NHS support has reduced dramatically but don't complain thanks to whoever made the cuts. I get tired but I put my head on my pillow at night and thank that I still can manage to help this lovely person and they are in my life.
When I'm down I use a affirmation I got from a Louise Hay audio book Every morning I say 'I am safe and all is well'. I don't pray as I'm not religious but this makes me feel good for the day ahead whatever it brings.
She is American and I didn't like the Pollyanna approach at first but it helps me a bit
Have a great positive day everyone ��

iQueen

mrs-moneypenny

What a lovely up-lifting post! I'm still actually smiling! Blue, cloudless sky here today - glorious!

So, glad that you have found such a joyful dress!

I remember buying a dress for 10p, from a jumble sale. I wore it to an Open Day at my son's, then, Public School! I got genuine compliments from several other mothers and delighted in shocking them with where it came from and how much I'd paid! :rotfl:I hope yours brings you much happiness.

mavvymoo

I'm sorry you are facing residence problems, but it is so liberating to let even big, life-changing worries go. My problem also involves land, but not the land I'm living on - talk about 'twins' and woo! And, my situation involves a worthless relative, but I seem to have a good litigator - so far! (Have you and DH sought legal advice? Did you ever have anything in writing, at all?)

Shame I can't invite you stay with me - not enough room for me, with all this Stuff, but I'm sure you would have it clear in a trice!

I loved caravans, when the children and I went on those newspaper holidays! Never got messy, easy to pack up, when leaving. Bliss! It was those experiences that first started me thinking about how much excess people have these days.

My RL problem has shown me that we often spend SO much mental energy on things that we can't influence, we can end up paralysed in the other parts of our lives.

It's a real LB moment, when we start to kondo that other Stuff from our lives and realise that life is an adventure. It's can be very scary at times, but if we give ourselves space and time to get things in perspective, we can remain happy. Also, it really is woo, how happiness seems to attract good things - no idea how thathappens - too woo, even for me!

Stay happy, keep a clear head, and watch out for the new opportunities in unlikely places!

iQueen

jinny wrote: »

Lots of lovely posts on here today. I have a lot on my plate caring for someone severely mentally ill professional NHS support has reduced dramatically but don't complain thanks to whoever made the cuts. I get tired but I put my head on my pillow at night and thank that I still can manage to help this lovely person and is in my life.
When I'm down I use a affirmation I got from a Louise Hay audio book Every morning I say 'I am safe and all is well'. I don't pray as I'm not religious but this makes me feel good for the day ahead whatever it brings.
She is American and I didn't like the Pollyanna approach at first but it helps me a bit
Have a great positive day everyone ��

Jinny, it must be very hard to care for someone with such a condition, and often a strain for you, especially as the toffs seem to be forcing us (women, mainly) to do more and more, with less and less.

Like Mav, I have made a positive decision to prevent anything messing with my happiness. Not in a selfish way, I just let things that could get me down, just slide past, without my participation in their games. I refuse to let anything that I can't alter, into my thoughts, because that is where those things breed, and they don't arf make a mess!.

One uplifting thing that I accidently stumbled across is the 'insprational quotes' on Pinterest! I was looking for interesting sayings etc to cross stitch and frame, in odd moments. I found loads of positive ones for my own well-being, as well as some wry ones that might resonate with some eventual visitors (eg 'Be kind... or leave!' :rotfl:)

I'm usually doing this browsing prior to bed and I've found that they really boost my happiness level (even if I've fallen asleep at the computer!) I have trained myself to recognise and skip anything negative. Some even 'crack me up' as much as... 'I'll get me coat!' :j

Right, 'I'll get me duster...' the books are calling! :rotfl:

jinny

BE KIND OR LEAVE I love it! And not just in my house...my life while your at it!!!! Lol You teach people how to treat you for sure.


I don't get anything for looking after the person who is ill.
Alas my very small pensions stop me
I don't mind at all it's done out of love for them.
A bit help would be nice tho.

iQueen

jinny wrote: »

BE KIND OR LEAVE I love it! And not just in my house...my life while your at it!!!! Lol You teach people how to treat you for sure.
I don't get anything for looking after this person my pensions stop me
I don't mind at all it's done out of love for them.
A bit help would be nice tho.

That's the first one I'm going to stitch! I'm hoping that some family members will read it and take heed... if not, they won't be very welcome in the future! It will also remind me to be kind and calm with everyone - I had a short fuse, in the past, which was very unhelpful! :doh:

The second one that I will stitch is: 'Stay calm and silent - it really annoys those who expect you to be enraged!' :rotfl:

Whether you get paid for helping your friend, or not is irrelevant, and nobody else's business. Hopefully, we all help others for the feelings that we get from it.

I spent a lot of time with an elderly married couple (neighbours), for five or six years, until last year, when the last one died.

I didn't have to do anything much for them, because their daughter came in every day to do the chores. We just talked, while they were slowly dying of cancer. I felt very privileged to spend so much time with them, learning about their lives, gossiping, and having lots of laughs! :rotfl:

Kondo the help you're not getting, Jinny, and take care of yourself, too.

PollyWollyDoodle

Sometimes when we give, we receive a return in a different way. There may be no financial help for caring for your friend (and none expected) but I'm sure you will benefit in other ways, if only for feeling that you have made a difference. If that's the only thing we achieve in life, it is enough.

SilvaSava, don't dread doing your clothes. You don't have to throw out anything if you don't want to, but if you do the process thoroughly - get everything of the same sort together, and pick up every item and handle it, my guess is that you will find quite a lot of things that you don't really love. I think I reduced my wardrobe initially by about 40%, now I can see everything I am beginning to recognise that there are clothes which I like but don't really fit my lifestyle any more, and I think there will be some more stuff heading for the CS.

I have had my first Kondo setback today. I have mislaid an envelope containing a significant amount in vouchers. Pre-Kondo, it had taken up residence in my cosmetics and jewellery drawer, not an obvious place for it, but I knew where it was. I don't think I've thrown it out and in fact I remember coming across it while turning that drawer out, but where on earth I have put it I don't know. It's particularly annoying because I have a shopping trip planned tomorrow and I am relying on the vouchers to fund the purchase. I'll keep looking, at least there's a bit less to look through now.

Edited to add: found them! phew - I had put them back in the same cupboard, but in a different place, obviously for some reason my brain recognised them as being related to clothing/wardrobe. Hurrah - tomorrow I am off to buy a new jacket which will be more expensive than anything I currently own, but which will be something I love (or it's not making it out of the shop!).