The KonMarie method

iQueen

silvasava wrote: »

Thanks iQueen - I have done my towels but need to do the bedding. I'm dreading doing my clothes 'cos I have a LOT and they all bring me pleasure and they are organised by season & colour but I'm sure I can find a few things that are 'not quite right'. I've also got a shoe stash that I'll be visiting soon.
Craftyscholar - there's the adage that we wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time......;)

Not good enough, silvasava! Every item has to fill you with absolute JOY! You should be able to hug it and feel really excited about wearing it. Anything less, and it should not be there!

Once you start feeling this joy, you have a benchmark for everything else in your home. That's the key to kondoing.

The 20%/80% comes from the business world and applies to almost anything - it is recognised in the wearing of clothes, as you say, and probably applies to equipment we use, food we eat, make-up, jewellery, shoes, shops we use... :shocked:

mavvymoo

silvasava wrote: »

Thanks iQueen - I have done my towels but need to do the bedding. I'm dreading doing my clothes 'cos I have a LOT and they all bring me pleasure and they are organised by season & colour but I'm sure I can find a few things that are 'not quite right'. I've also got a shoe stash that I'll be visiting soon.
Craftyscholar - there's the adage that we wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time......;)

silvasava I thought I liked all my clothes and had a LOT ! I would say I have kondo'd at least 60% and still not 100% happy with the remaining 40% :rotfl:I am wearing things that have sat in my wardrobe for ages. and I am enjoying them. If I have one tiny thought when I wear them that I am not joyful and happy happy happy with them.They are washed and kondo'd straight away

I brought 13 t-shirts all the same but different colours about 2 years ago because I liked the first one I brought so much.:eek:(at the time) 10 still have tags on :eek: and I have decided today I have changed my style and no longer even like them very much.

So the whole lot are in the charity bag ready to go.I have left them on the top of the bag so every time I go in the room I see them and it reminds me how bl**dy stupid I was. and not to ever to do that again :mad:

On a good note I have lost 7lbs since kondoing I am much more aware of what I am eating and think about what I want rather than stuffing it down:rotfl:I do not impulse buy in the supermarkets any more and dont feel I need that (treat):eek: That I used to feel I deserved for some reason

.Also have much more time to exercise and I am running so much more now and so enjoy the time have spare !

Mav x

Clutterfree

drusilla wrote: »

I have not kondoed anything today but I am feeling the fruits of my labours.

As I have done clothes and jewellery, I decided I should wear some today. I generally just grab anything and tend to wear the same stuff. Last night I decided to be organised. I got out my clothes for today and included some jewellery. I have had no end of compliments today. Not sure if I did look good or they are just used to seeing me in the same things. Anyway, I felt much better. May even do it again tomorrow.

I would have had no chance if my clothes were not so beautifully organised.

I'm the same.
Pre-kondo I only ever wore my wedding ring and watch on a daily basis. I'd only wear earrings and a necklace if I was going out.
Since sorting my jewellery, I now wear earrings and a necklace every day, even if I don't leave the house. I wear it for me and it makes me feel better about myself. Same for perfume. I wear it every day now - yes I keep my favourites for going out but the others I wear at home.
It's so much easier now it is all organised and to hand.

mavvymoo

iQueen wrote: »

Brilliant post, Mav! :T I totally agree.

The book lays out a strict order for kondoing, for a purpose: it aims to be mind-changing, thus preventing the clutter of non-essentials ever coming into the home again. It is like a form of self-hypnosis.

If we get to the end of the process, or a category, feeling dissatisfied, we haven't completed the transformation. The biggest change we are making is in our thinking.

The hardest thing to change in life, is ourselves, and some of us may fight such change - we think we are OK as we are. Everyone can improve!

Kondoing is not going to change us in any way that we don't want! Change can only happen as far as we allow.

Making decisions about what we actually need in our lives, physically, causes us to, consciously or unconsciously, address other areas of our lives - our values, our past, what we want for the future, and how we can fill every area of life with joy. This changes our behaviour.

To successfully finish kondoing, we need to acknowledge these psychological changes - even if some of us think it's a load of 'woo'! It will make us happier! :dance:

Thank you for that iQueen means a lot coming from you As you really do talk sense and have helped me and others so much along this journey with your wise words

It is hard to explain this process to anyone if you do it by book.Friends of mine have said 'Oh decluttering again' But it really isnt it is a journey and a very hard journey until you can process all your thoughts and memories along the way and deal with them.As you let things go and know those things are never coming back into your life in any way shape of form.

I know I will never be the same person again after this and I think that for me is the best thing As I have moved on and will never go back to my old ways.Life is way to short and I am much happier with my lot then ever before

Cheers all Mav x

iQueen

mavvymoo wrote: »

Thank you for that iQueen means a lot coming from you As you really do talk sense and have helped me and others so much along this journey with your wise words

It is hard to explain this process to anyone if you do it by book.Friends of mine have said 'Oh decluttering again' But it really isnt it is a journey and a very hard journey until you can process all your thoughts and memories along the way and deal with them.As you let things go and know those things are never coming back into your life in any way shape of form.

I know I will never be the same person again after this and I think that for me is the best thing As I have moved on and will never go back to my old ways.Life is way to short and I am much happier with my lot then ever before

Cheers all Mav x

Thank you for your kind remarks, Mav. :T

Your insights have helped me, too - I shall never be going back. But first, I have to finish the journey! 'Life's tough, but so am I'. :dance:

I'm an armchair psychologist, and 'practise' on myself! :rotfl:

I've always had good intuition - my gut feeling is never wrong. Over the past few years, I've done a lot of thinking about how, and why, my house got in this state. Although it's a tip and appears hoarded, I knew that I wasn't a hoarder in denial. I recognised it was a barricade against pain.

I examined my past closely and found scattered events that connected and also linked into the barricade.

The amazing Happiness breakthrough recently, has really made things fall into place (thanks MK, you deserve every penny, if that's what you're after!) Anything that I post, is based on my own insights and LB moments. If they help others to understand themselves better (if they need to), I'm glad.

I know I may come across as a bit preachy at times (still a WIP!) - I've seen that glazed look on my children and students SO many times! Unfortunately, on threads there's no visible indication that readers, who aren't into, or don't need, the Woo, have fallen asleep! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

jinny

I love your posts Iqueen I can take something from all posts on here woo woo or not. I too have studied my own behaviour over the years.
I was a people pleaser and put up with so much carp from people in my life (mil comes to mind) I don't bother with many now just a few that spark joy. People, that when you spend time with them don't make you eat rubbish to stuff down the tension they cause you. Or buy stuff you don't need to project an image or to belong or fill some void. In fact I quite like the cheapskate image I have now. The only black dress I' own now has had two outings recently with the same people. I was hoping someone would comment but they didn't if they thought it and didn't say anything ...Who cares not me.

iQueen

jinny wrote: »

I love your posts Iqueen I can take something from all posts on here woo woo or not. I too have studied my own behaviour over the years.
I was a people pleaser and put up with so much carp from people in my life (mil comes to mind) I don't bother with many now just a few that spark joy. People, that when you spend time with them don't make you eat rubbish to stuff down the tension they cause you. Or buy stuff you don't need to project an image or to belong or fill some void. In fact I quite like the cheapskate image I have now. The only black dress I' own now has had two outings recently with the same people. I was hoping someone would comment but they didn't if they thought it and didn't say anything ...Who cares not me.

Thank you, Jinny. :T

You've always sounded pretty sorted to me! I used to really envy you and later, GreyQueen, when I first joined the thread - struggling to kondo and yet, happy with your lives! Now, I'm there myself (although the house is still plodding to catch me up!)

I can't understand how LIBERATED I feel. It's as if someone waved a magic wand and said you will never worry again. It was an overnight epiphany, literally. :shocked:

I still have one major RL problem, which could make me homeless (and the junk! Yay!), but I don't care! (I have two friends, who will put me up for a while, and my doc will rent me a caravan on his farm!) :rotfl:

It amazes me that after living in the doldrums for quite a few years, suddenly, I'm in the sunlight again. I did have a blip a couple of weeks ago, but I refused to let this new happiness go.

I think it comes from accepting my life for what it is, and has been. Now, I'm contented. What more could I want?

I can identify with the carp that we let other people get away with towards us. I was over-defensive and argued my corner. So, exhausting! Now, I can see that I don't have to justify anything, and I refuse to let people manipulate or bully me. If they don't like my boundaries - that's their problem!

Thank you for helping to light my way.

supersaver1000

Just delurking to say what a great post x

cpt574

Thank you iqueen for your posts, they are very inspirational, along with mav and grey queen and many others. I have somewhat ground to a halt but am reading along. I hope circumstances don't end up making you homeless, but as you say it is your state of mind which is more important than anything. The comment a few posts back about only buying clothes which are 100% joyful really struck a cord. Have bought a few things this week most if not all are going to be returned. Trouble is I have clothes I love but then another day I don't so much. Think really I should just keep my absolute favourites and then with more space and time concentrate on my fitness and weight, whilst not massively overweight I do think my shape stops me buying clothes which I would love, and I end up with the best I can get to cover up the bits I don't like. Will give it some thought while returning all the nice but not joyful stuff:)

VJsmum

Clutterfree wrote: »

I'm the same.
Pre-kondo I only ever wore my wedding ring and watch on a daily basis. I'd only wear earrings and a necklace if I was going out.
Since sorting my jewellery, I now wear earrings and a necklace every day, even if I don't leave the house. I wear it for me and it makes me feel better about myself. Same for perfume. I wear it every day now - yes I keep my favourites for going out but the others I wear at home.
It's so much easier now it is all organised and to hand.

I have always thought this thread and LessonLearned's thread on the Health board "Frugal frump to fab" go together (as well as the MMM and NBI threads here) - this post says why.

iQueen wrote: »

Thank you for your kind remarks, Mav. :T

Your insights have helped me, too - I shall never be going back. But first, I have to finish the journey! 'Life's tough, but so am I'. :dance:

I'm an armchair psychologist, and 'practise' on myself! :rotfl:

I've always had good intuition - my gut feeling is never wrong. Over the past few years, I've done a lot of thinking about how, and why, my house got in this state. Although it's a tip and appears hoarded, I knew that I wasn't a hoarder in denial. I recognised it was a barricade against pain.

I examined my past closely and found scattered events that connected and also linked into the barricade.

The amazing Happiness breakthrough recently, has really made things fall into place (thanks MK, you deserve every penny, if that's what you're after!) Anything that I post, is based on my own insights and LB moments. If they help others to understand themselves better (if they need to), I'm glad.

I know I may come across as a bit preachy at times (still a WIP!) - I've seen that glazed look on my children and students SO many times! Unfortunately, on threads there's no visible indication that readers, who aren't into, or don't need, the Woo, have fallen asleep! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

This is so me, regarding intuition and a bit preachy - LOL

My hotel room here in HK is so different to any hotel room I've had before in terms of me and my stuff. Shoes are side by side under the counter. Clothes are folded (MK style ) into the drawers, bags are neatly put away and the small amount of "Komono" is in a tidy huddle on the side. Previously stuff would have been strewn everywhere . The small amount of clothes i have with me are ones that I love - although i had to pack carefully, every bottom has at least 2 matching tops and the tops will go with many of the bottoms. I also have a couple of scarves for a bit of flair. I don't think i will need the two cardies and the jacket that i brought with me, however.

Bit frustrating not to be able to get rid of anything at home. However, OH will have finished painting DD's new room (bright red :eek:) before I get back and i think she is going home for the weekend to orchestrate what goes back in. I am going to (gently) suggest she does it by category and discards what she doesn't like. Kondoing from 6,000 miles away - I guess it ties in with the "bit preachy" thing above :rotfl: