Taking control

takingcontrolatlast

You're welcome ! hope the service on the car wasn't too bad/expensive CCL

takingcontrolatlast

I'm shattered .. yet again!

It was a funny old week - I started positive and then I went downhill from then on ... I'm feeling quite irritated atm..... with people at work mostly and I hate feeling like this.

Ive also had a few "heated discussions" with family as well, especially DD1. Anyway its resolved now but I hated the atmosphere. I need to bite my tongue I think rather than retaliate

The house was fab last weekend ... this weekend it looks like its unloved... i've got no energy or motivation at all. I need to though so will set myself one hours cleaning today and that's it!!

Well pay day came and i paid all my bills and debts as planned. I've managed to top up my EF as well.

crazy_cat_lady

Sounds to me like you might need a rest... I get snappy when I'm worn out or run down. Hope things pick up soon.

takingcontrolatlast

I think you are right about needing a rest CCL, but ive no time off again till beginning of november

I have a course that finishes in September which i have to sit an exam for, plus another exam in September, plus coursework!! So august and september there is no chance of time off. I trying to stay calm about it and take one day at a time with regards to this workload.

DD1 has just taken her first step into grown up world and got herself her dream job and bought a car. She said to me tonight that I'm not myself and that my mood has changed. I said yes you are right... i dont know why....

Im sensible enough to know that it must be me as i'm finding fault with everyone and everything.. and I'm starting to feel like I dont want to go to work as they are irritating me! I feel like I just want to be on my own for a while. Like time out?! Or have a lie in and a leisurely morning and then decide to go to work.... I'm living in cloud cuckoo land!

I need to work to get out of debt - there is going to be no change - the house still needs work and still needs cleaning - the bills still need paying - that's my life.. I just hope I dont bite someone's head off at work - I only have to look at DH and the slightest thing he says/does... i'm snapping....

Ive decided to stay out of everyone's way... for their sake :rotfl:

crazy_cat_lady

I know I'm not one to talk, but is there any way you can get some help with some of the stuff - or if you're a complete control freak like I am, then it helps me to put things into lists - urgent, normal and non-essential. What's the worst that will happen if the house doesn't get cleaned for a week? Not as much as if you burn out and can't do anything at all for months.

takingcontrolatlast

Hi,

DD2 last night informs me she has a growth - I'm calm... (internally i'm sick) - so I'll make an appt tomorrow at the GPs. I've just gone through this with DD1 as well and she had it surgically removed and all is well.

Yes I am a bit controlling CCL If things dont go my way I sort of go into meltdown..

Everyone is busy in this household and everyone "does something" daily but it's just not enough for eg, DD1 may go .. ive cleaned the kitchen which infact is just a washed up DH breakfast things and wiped the surfaces (now DH should have washed them up before he left for work);

DD2 will go I've put a wash on... fab.... either put it on the line then or maiden and there are still a few more washes that could go on...

DH may cook and then I'll clean the kitchen after that. I havn't mentioned the hoovering, bathrooms etc that still need cleaning and the things left lying around.

Now i turn a blind eye but it all builds up for the weekend and i'm just fed up with moaning about it... If I could just have a cleaner :rotfl:

I seem to "dont see the mess" and then hit a point where I just scream about the state of the place and we are all adults who should just put their stuff away... simples!!!

Rant over

Yes I do make lists or as I like to call them - my matrix ! They keep me focused as to what I'm not achieving :eek:

I recieved T*sco vouchers and bought a lovely pair of espidrills (cant spell it) with them - I'm really pleased as I've always wanted a pair and now I have them and got them free!

DD1 had a 2nd interview in the week and has landed her 1st proper job :T We are all delighted with her and she has bought her 1st car :T

Now the next drama - she starts tomorrow and hasnt driven since passing her test 18 months ago... the journey is horrific to her new place of work - lots of motorway driving... so we have been looking a routes but she is just not ready yet for this typing of driving. Ive looked at public transport which is going to involve me dropping her off at the station at around 7.20am, getting a train and then a taxi to her place of work... but she will just have to get on with it till her driving improves and she and others are safe on the roads.

She doesnt seem happy .. think its the stress of the impending journey, not being able to drive safely yet, starting a new job in her field and being able to do what she says... I'm trying to help but i seem to be getting the "backlash" of the stress and was told sarcastically that I'm a saint...

I'm so angry with her and I know she doesnt mean it.. but she has a tongue on her which is too sharp!! (chip off the old block) which reminds me that work on Friday was just not good... remember i said I hope I dont bite someones head off... well I did!! The irritant pushed me and pushed me and he admitted that he did, and he won.. I'm not proud of myself

Plus DH and I are still bickering.... I think I take it out on him but he just drives me mad.

I truely wish someone had "my back"

All this drama.... I should be on the stage

crazy_cat_lady

Oh TCAL - I think that we could be sisters... We sound so very similar.
My dh's idea of washing dishes is to do what's in the sink and no more. I have to accept that it's good for him.
Your dd has loads on, I'm not surprised that she's stressed. And whilst it's awful that she's taking it out on you, it is sort of a compliment. We tend to take it out on those closes to us, because it's 'safe'.
Keep plodding on - you will get through this. xxx

takingcontrolatlast

Okay CCL... who is the ugly one?!! Seriously though, I agree we do sound similar... is that good or bad :rotfl:

I really do value your words CCL and thank you.. it's all we can do is plod on...

On that note I've just put the last load of washing on I cant believe I will have all my washing done before 10.00am on a Sunday morning! I'll have to find something else to wash... :rotfl:

Right ironing next... that should keep me busy !!! I'll stop at 12 noon if not finished :rotfl:

DD2 out all day at work and wants fajhitas for tea... so that meal is sorted

I'm going to start PADing... towards the credit card... going to do it now...

takingcontrolatlast

Wow I havent posted in over a week!

DD2 is fine :j

DD1 is doing well :j

I feel a lot calmer although the DH wouldnt agree:rotfl:

I've managed to make a few PADs to cc (still playing catch up with it but getting there).

Also had a few NSDs.

Need to start thinking of next month's budget :eek:

parsniphead

I'm glad you are feeling calmer taking control. It a hard one to do.

How's the emergency fund going.