Taking control

judi24

This place is great for support - and a good place to have a good old rant and moan! I'm in a new job too - so with you on the stress of changing job although mine is definitely for the better (not financially really but I many other ways!)


I get the being independent bit - but at the end of the day what yours is his and what his is yours and all that - I'm sure you can repay the favour someday!!


Is the debt you have just yours or both your debts? If it is just yours does he know about it? and if it is both of yours then surely you are in this together or is he not that supportive of the debt free desire?


Sorry if I'm being nosey!!


Yes car tax is easy to do online - I don't pay road tax but still need to remember to apply for it!


It sounds like you have good in laws - which is great!

takingcontrolatlast

hi Judy, its a new role but enjoying learning and i luv this site - wish I tuned in sooner!

I didnt have to pay car tax this year as new car (loan).

You're not being nosey - im glad your interested and supportive

Its my debt which he is aware of. He is also carrying alot of debt. Im not 100% sure of total but its roughly £20K +. ~We have been through alot. Long story short is that OH always managed finances (quite traditional but in hindsight i was very stupid). I was part-time and had a little cc debt which i used to take kids on holiday etc and was managing. OH was self-employed in a family business which sadly the recession took and he and family were unemployed. He had been carrying debt which I didnt know about as he was trying sadly to carry on and provide for us. I had increased hours in work but made the mistake of still wanting good lifestyle for kids and me and made some stupid decisions and choices and got myself into debt. I was in total denial and very busy.

Went through a lot of marriage difficulties, i filed for divorce but pulled out.We made arrangements with CCs etc and that time was horrific for me. Found the process of negotiating with them horrendous - we even went to court to keep house. We manage our own debts and both contribute to household bills which works at the moment. He doesnt spend, doesnt socialise, doesnt smoke, has the odd pint in the house. Me on the other hand wrongly tried to carry on as normal. I just couldnt deal with all the pressure. But ive stopped now and took head out of sand. We are trying to sell the house, get rid of debt and make a fresh start.:j

judi24

Sounds like you have had a rather rough time of it - I have been trying for many years to sort my mess out and its only very recently that I have actually moved forward with any real motivation or determination! So don't beat yourself up! Most people on here have made less than wise decisions about money so you are definitely not alone!


But you are now doing something about your situation which is great and before long you will feel like things are improving - it is hard at times and I have many struggles with myself about spending - to keep up appearances, or to make it up to kids if I have been too busy, stressed or tired to be a good mum! (and it doesn't really help - just makes me feel more guilty!)


You have done a great job getting through this with you marriage still intact - you have obviously had to work hard though.
So onwards an upwards - keep posting on here and the lovely people on here with keep your spirits up hopefully!

takingcontrolatlast

Thanks Judi, (spelt your name right this time)! yes its been a long, long struggle and still struggling but im not in denial anymore, just feel stupid. I think you get where i'm coming from when i said i wanted to carry on and be normal but in hindsight i should have lived within my means. BYW it didnt all go on holidays and good living - i wish

Marriage aint perfect but work in progress

Yes I will keep posting as it motivates me and im learning tips every day - thank you

takingcontrolatlast

Stuck to my NSD today so still have £17.20 and a £20 tesco gift voucher in my purse That's 2 NSD in a row. I cant put the 20p in my 20p challenge as its 2 x 10p !

Got another order to make a cardi - need to buy wool so it will have to wait till payday - 12 days and counting. Not doing too good with ebay challenges - awaiting youngest to download photos for me - could be waiting a while!

Feeling tired today and ive still got to do kitchen, put a wash on, clothes to iron, lunches to make the usual... im boring myself! i need to shake myself and liven up

takingcontrolatlast

oops! failed my 3 NSP in a row due to the fact i left my lunch at home and had to buy a spud with tuna and salad.

uni loans came in yday for my 2 - the eldest sensibly keeps it in the bank what does my youngest do - the answer is obvious book a summer holiday for her and her boyf! I cant say too much as she works part-time as well and I know she will say that's where the deposit came from and to mind my own business

i am struggling with HM lunches - so bored of them - i was advised to look at OS board for inspiration and have started

Been invited to join a "fat club" - i think they must have got me mixed up with some one else :rotfl: - Ive never lost weight past week 1 and i know i cant do it on my own - need to lose around 2 stone maybe more - but my issue is ... the expense. Is it wasted money? roughly £6 a week? Should this money really be going towards debts or do i see it as an investment in my health - (need to lose weight for health reasons anyway)! ahhh decisions!

takingcontrolatlast

not having good night ! posted SOA but noticed error on secured debt so deleted and I spent all night on it and no i didnt save it! I didnt like reading it but it was what i knew already

Goals:

1. Pay off the £730 loan ASAP - thus reducing interest and then the £130 monthly payment is freed up to pay family back.

2. Pay the family back - this is going to be so hard to do this year but im going to do my best.

3. Not sure whether its my Vanquis cc or my overdraft that needs to be paid off the quickest next - need to look into that more. Vanquis balance £1000 - overdraft balance £1700 - depends on APR i know but not ready to tackle this yet.

D1 gave me 25p change from her purse! thinks she feels sorry for me!
D2 downloaded my pics on ebay so completed my challenge to list 10/10.
Overtime today yeah!

Happy Bday to my OH

judi24

Good new about the cardi! and the NSD's!!! I get what you're saying about packed lunches but I keep lots of tubs of leftovers in the freezer that I use so I don't have the same thing every day - bit that does require a microwave - or what about pasta salad - I make one with tuna and loads of veg that I just eat cold - dressing is low fat mayo with other bits added (honey and mustard - good with chicken or turkey too, tomato - made with tinned toms and herbs or just plain old salad cream and mayo!) - I make up a load and eat it over the week - a bit boring I know!


You know we all make stupid decisions in life - anyone who says that haven't is lying!!!!! The important thing is what we learn from those decisions and don't make the same mistakes again! (well maybe more than a couple of times - we are human after all!!!)


My DD1 was the same with her loan - she lived off her wages and spend her loan on holidays - she might regret that at some point - but they are only young once I guess and the travelling that my DD1 did as a result of using her loan for this has given her a very different perspective on life which is worth the money in my opinion!! Trying to persuade my DD2 to go travelling so she get a different perspective than work at minimum wage and sleeping!!! oh and buying Carp with every penny of her wage!!!

takingcontrolatlast

Hi Judi, thanks for the lunch suggestions - tuna pasta sounds nice! i did take on board what you do with left overs and have started the ball rolling with that but need to invest in some freezer boxes/bags which I havent got round to yet ..but will. I suppose its just making the effort with lunches . the test will be after i get paid - will i continue making lunches or sucumb to i cant be bothered and ill go canteen!!

Our daughters sound so similar i too want them to experience life and have fun, and yeah especially while they are young and not bogged down with life LOL but the way my D2 goes about things drives me mad (but secretly she makes me laugh)

in work today they were chatting about money and i was listening in and one girl was saying how much she loved this site - i kept thinking i wonder if she is a member or just reads the posts - then I stressed on whether she would recognise my ramblings but then thought no, i havent admitted im in debt in work ... so embarassed! She was going on about she saves £2 in a pot and a few other challenges that are on the site and I inwardly smiled - im pleased that she is money savvy

takingcontrolatlast

2 weeks in ... feeling good that i have last this long posting my diary as it makes me focus on what i want to achieve.

im feeling guilty about my budget for feb as i have been invited on holiday later in the year with a group of friends (villa between us all so cost is roughly £120) flight estimate £120 and then food so budgeting around £400 - £500 for the holiday. It could be money off a debt I know. What you dont know is that I was really ill a few years ago and I was extremely lucky that i didnt die. So i sort of made a resolution to myself to try and LIVE. How this fits in with my desire to get out of debt is a challenge :eek: I work hard, i rarely go out and i rarely drink (only when its in) I dont smoke... I sound like an 80s song from Adam Ant! "dont drink, dont smoke.. what do you do" !!

In the past i added to my cc debt by using some of it for holidays with my children when they were young. I need to be sensible. I can only get credit on 1 CC which is maxed and is a goal for next year to get rid of so realistically i think i can only go if i have paid my family back and i can raise funds to pay for it. Deposit is £10 which I could pay next week when I get paid and then take it from there!