Official Trying to Conceive - Thread 12

michbright

Aargh! I've been chatting with my SIL on WhatsApp today and she's told our MIL they're going to start trying for another baby (BIL's 3rd, SIL's 4th)! BIL is DH's brother, so it would be MIL's 3rd grandchild from them. MIL does not like big families but SIL is quite bullish about things and says it doesn't matter what she thinks. Yes, I know that's true, but when I was pg with DD3, MIL told me to get myself sterilised, which has stuck with me for 6 years!!

Now SIL thinks we should tell MIL we're trying so she's not shocked when/if it happens. However, if we tell MIL, I'll have to tell my mother and I don't want to do that. My mother is the type of person who would ask every day how things are going!

We've never told any family when we've tried in the past, so it would seem a bit odd if we told them this time. On the other hand, MIL and family will be visiting in December, so if we have a December baby, great. If it's a January baby, not so great because then they won't get to see baby as they'll go home (they all live abroad) before the birth! Also, if MIL knows before I get a BFP, it won't be such a shock for her and she'll come round to the idea. It also might endear me to her a bit more as well. We get on well, but since I had my 3rd, we seem to have drifted apart a bit. My mother lives in the UK and would be over the moon if we have another baby.

I know it's my body, my husband, my family, but it still hurts not to have MIL's approval. Apparently MIL still doesn't like big families but is coming round to the idea of BIL and SIL having another baby.

DH thinks we should keep quiet until we get a BFP, like we've done in the past.

What to do, what to do??

lulu_92

michbright wrote: »

Aargh! I've been chatting with my SIL on WhatsApp today and she's told our MIL they're going to start trying for another baby (BIL's 3rd, SIL's 4th)! BIL is DH's brother, so it would be MIL's 3rd grandchild from them. MIL does not like big families but SIL is quite bullish about things and says it doesn't matter what she thinks. Yes, I know that's true, but when I was pg with DD3, MIL told me to get myself sterilised, which has stuck with me for 6 years!!

Now SIL thinks we should tell MIL we're trying so she's not shocked when/if it happens. However, if we tell MIL, I'll have to tell my mother and I don't want to do that. My mother is the type of person who would ask every day how things are going!

We've never told any family when we've tried in the past, so it would seem a bit odd if we told them this time. On the other hand, MIL and family will be visiting in December, so if we have a December baby, great. If it's a January baby, not so great because then they won't get to see baby as they'll go home (they all live abroad) before the birth! Also, if MIL knows before I get a BFP, it won't be such a shock for her and she'll come round to the idea. It also might endear me to her a bit more as well. We get on well, but since I had my 3rd, we seem to have drifted apart a bit. My mother lives in the UK and would be over the moon if we have another baby.

I know it's my body, my husband, my family, but it still hurts not to have MIL's approval. Apparently MIL still doesn't like big families but is coming round to the idea of BIL and SIL having another baby.

DH thinks we should keep quiet until we get a BFP, like we've done in the past.

What to do, what to do??

If you get on with SIL well enough I'd do the same as them. If they tell MIL and she is the kind of person to moan about her to you then you will have a united front and she won't have anyone to moan to! Why she thinks it's any of her business how many children you have is beyond me.

Apparently if I get pg I have to keep quiet until 20 weeks!

lulu_92

Cuilean wrote: »

I'm now 2dpo, and beginning the 2WW. I'm not overly optimistic though - DH's reluctance to BD for fear of a December baby meant we only did BD once.

Three days until the house move, and the washing machine broke down last night. Water everywhere. Just to add insult to injury, I've had to spend money I didn't budget for on a replacement. Why does it all happen at once? :mad:

Add me to the list of people who thought you did temperature checking somewhere other than orally :rotfl:

Lulu, did your OPK say negative this morning? I got some Boots own brand ones which specifically say not to test till after lunch, which is the total opposite of what every other OPK kit says. Maybe you could get some of those and try them?

Black Ribboner and ThinkPink, I get horrible cases of the green eyed monster, but I can only imagine how much more intense it must feel having been that bit closer to having your baby. So unfair.

Ellesbelles and anyone else with AF, the countdown begins again - fingers crossed for you for next month. Get the corkscrew and enjoy your weekend!

Oh dear you're having a rubbish time, aren't you!

it was negative last night so I didn't test this morning. I'm fed up of doing all of the work with no reward so I'm giving up.

michbright

SIL is okay. She won't tell MIL but she lives next door to her and tells her everything else, so in a way it's not really fair to ask her to keep quiet. BIL, however is another story. I don't really want him knowing and so far, she's kept it from him.

He's the type of person that if they fall PG before us, he would lord it over us. We are constantly told stories about his BOY (only grandson out of 5 grandchildren and 1 step-grandchild) and how wonderful his BOY is and how the family name will not die out because he's had a BOY!

That is just the tip of the iceberg with BIL - he's always looked down on us, and still doesn't treat me like I'm part of the family, even after nearly 13 years of marriage. This is despite the fact his first marriage ended after 10 years and he's only been married to SIL now for 3 years.

blueneleh

lulu_92 wrote: »

Snapping you've hit the nail on the head. DTD last night but *ahem* the job wasn't finished.

I got a positive OPK on Wednesday at about 7pm, on Thursday at 7am and a negative at 7pm last night, and DTD at about midnight so I know there's no chance for me. He promised me that he would try harder and follow SMEP with me, that lasted 3 days. I'm fed up of it. I've been messed around too much with this whole thing.

Nobody should ever feel guilty for getting the green-eyed monster with this stuff. We all know it's difficult, especially for those of you who have MC in the past.

Did u manage to dtd in the days running up to OV? If so, u still have a chance hun. Also, positive OPK means you're going to OV in the next 24-48 hours and I think once you've OV you've got about 12 hours so dtd at midnight could well be in time.
Don't count yourself out yet!

Same to Cuilean. Once is all it takes!

AFM - AF finally arrived properly yesterday so I'm now CD2. Sorry for the change Kellykins!

lulu_92

blueneleh wrote: »

Did u manage to dtd in the days running up to OV? If so, u still have a chance hun. Also, positive OPK means you're going to OV in the next 24-48 hours and I think once you've OV you've got about 12 hours so dtd at midnight could well be in time.
Don't count yourself out yet!

Same to Cuilean. Once is all it takes!

AFM - AF finally arrived properly yesterday so I'm now CD2. Sorry for the change Kellykins!

Sorry to hear about AF.

We DTD last Thursday, Saturday and this Tuesday. I can't really count last night, can I?

snow_ball

I also thought a positive OPK meant ovulation was due in 24-48 hours, so I'd say you're timing is ok Lulu!

lulu_92

snow_ball wrote: »

I also thought a positive OPK meant ovulation was due in 24-48 hours, so I'd say you're timing is ok Lulu!

I don't know, but I wouldn't even put money on OH wanting to DTD tonight.

Rambosmum

Please add me to the list!

Rambosmum (31) TTC #1 SINCE 3/15

michbright

lulu_92 wrote: »

I don't know, but I wouldn't even put money on OH wanting to DTD tonight.

Never say never .