Official Trying to Conceive - Thread 12

Toots14

Wow. So much of what has be said could be about me and DH. He has the lowest sex drive ever. We went a whole year without DTD (I know). He's absolutely not interested if anything TTC related. He is so clueless about the TTC journey. He thought you could get pregnant any time of the month. On any day! He's absolutely not interested in CM or OPK and just wants me to tell him when I need his swimmers. Most romantic thing ever :rotfl: I know he is on board with it all but it's a struggle. I just thought it was a man thing.

lulu_92

Toots14 wrote: »

Wow. So much of what has be said could be about me and DH. He has the lowest sex drive ever. We went a whole year without DTD (I know). He's absolutely not interested if anything TTC related. He is so clueless about the TTC journey. He thought you could get pregnant any time of the month. On any day! He's absolutely not interested in CM or OPK and just wants me to tell him when I need his swimmers. Most romantic thing ever :rotfl: I know he is on board with it all but it's a struggle. I just thought it was a man thing.

But when you tell him you need his swimmers do you get them? I don't.

Wow a year?!

jtr2803

No sex drive in men is way more common than you think, just that no one really talks about it.

I genuinely think that Ian's level of involvement is commendable but quite unusual for the majority of ttcing couples. I talk to 6/7 other TTC ladies on b&b, their ohs get the basics and provide the necessary but are more interested in the pregnancy than the nitty gritty TTC part.

Toots14

Last month we did it 3 times which is a world record. DH is 13 years older than me and I think a man's sex drive goes down as he gets older. I am a very patient woman. We have to be!

FreddieFrugal

jtr2803 wrote: »

I genuinely think that Ian's level of involvement is commendable but quite unusual

:rotfl: Got me in one, I'm a right weirdo

Toots14 wrote: »

I think a man's sex drive goes down as he gets older.

That's something to look forward to then!

jtr2803

IanRi wrote: »

:rotfl: Got me in one, I'm a right weirdo



That's something to look forward to then!

I think unique is a better word! :rotfl:

Izadora

I've been lurking for a while (only been TTC for 3 months but we'd been talking about it long before that) but thought I'd come out of hiding to let you know you're not alone. Reading through this thread has definitely made me realise that men with low sex drives are far more common than we're led to believe. My OH has a very low sex drive and, as he's on heart medication, can sometimes struggle even when the desire is there and it took me a very long time to come to terms with the fact that it's not because he doesn't find me attractive enough.

lulu_92 wrote: »

He gets grossed out by CM and doesn't think we need apps, OPKs or anything like that and pregnancy will just happen.

Toots14 wrote: »

He is so clueless about the TTC journey. He thought you could get pregnant any time of the month. On any day!

Ditto to both of those, he was really shocked when I told him that there are only a handful of days a month when you can get pregnant and if I get even close to going into detail about cycles and things you can almost see the colour drain from his face. I've not even dared tell him that I can work out when I'm fertile due to CM - I just tell him that my apps have told me it's time to try otherwise I reckon he'd end up feeling too faint to even attempt it...

cyantist

lulu_92 wrote: »

Jtr I have thought this many times and he is adamant that he wants children. After our mc I said maybe we should stop and he didn't want to. There must be something stopping him from wanting to BD, it's probably something about me as what else can it be?

If he doesn't step up this month I might have to stop TTC as I can't take it.

This is just what happened with mine, and it doesn’t mean this is the case with your OH. I thought mine was completely on board – we did start trying 9 years ago and he insisted it was what he wanted! We both agreed when we got together that having kids was really important to us, and it was the main reason we got married so young. He’s never had that high a sex drive and the only thing we ever argued about was the fact that apparently I wanted too much sex and he isn’t a performing monkey. Quite often I’d pinpoint ov time and it just wouldn’t happen, like your OH he would be too tired, or so often he had a headache, or stomach ache. Any excuse really and it got me down.

But recently he decided he wants a little family with me more than anything. He wanted it before but now he REALLY REALLY wants it. Since telling me this we have been DTD every day, sometimes twice (apart from when he went away for a couple of days). Sometimes we do it twice and then I’m having to tell him we can go again because 3 times a day is a little too excessive. He wasn’t even like this when we first got together, he has always been a once a week is fine type of guy and there were lots of times we’d go for 6 weeks without doing it once.

We went to the Dr’s recently and she asked when my last period was and DH gets out his phone and answers for me. He puts every CD1 in his calendar, as well as marking the potential OV days so he can make sure he doesn’t plan anything else for then and nothing will interrupt our BD plans. Even I don’t bother to do that. All along DH was insistent he wanted children, to the point he would have a little cry and a “why isn’t it us” moan when other people announced their pregnancies. I also suggested we stop trying several times as it was getting too stressful and he insisted he didn’t want to stop trying. I guess he knew he wanted a child, but just didn’t want it enough at the time. Unfortunately it’s taken us 9 years to get to this stage and I’m pretty sure no one wants to wait that long for your OH to be fully on board!

Pickle25

Hi everyone, can I join please? Been lurking for a while..
I'm 25, partners age is 31, time TTC= 6 months ish. We have had a MMC in this time at 10+5.
Stepping up a bit this month and have started using the CB dual hormone indicator OPKs. Currently on CD 10 and have got high fertility on CB opks and a positive amazon OPK. Have BD'd CD8 and today and will try to persuade OH for tomorrow aswell.

Lemon_Tree

Unfortunately I'm in same club with a hubby with a low sex drive, and often has problems completing. We've managed to get pregnant once before and DTD on days 12 & 16. Although I'm 99% sure I won't be pregnant this month I'm already negotiating with myself of when I can test if I'm late