Does anyone ever feel like they don't fit in to this world?

Richard53

lori64 wrote: »

I'm a very mature student,

50 is young enough - lots of folk in their 50s and 60s looking for company.

lori64 wrote: »

don't own my house,

= free to take off on a whim when the opportunity strikes

lori64 wrote: »

drive a 12yr old car,

= not beholden to a finance company for the next five years

lori64 wrote: »

have no savings

= free from worries about ISAs and interest rates

lori64 wrote: »

and have no idea where my life is heading.

You and me both!

lori64 wrote: »

So, not dating potential either

I dunno, I see quite a bit of potential there!

Kitty777

I feel the exact same. I often feel I am just living alongside other people and not really with them.

Terrifies me sometimes, especially when friends/my other half talk about the future....the idea of a house shared with friends? ew no! :P

System

In my darker days, i do have a tendancy to feel like i just don;t belong in this world, that i was never supposed to have existed (and that i shouldn't exist now). I've never had clear plans for the future. Everyone else around me seems to have aims/goals/dreams. They want a career or a house or a family. Me? I just feel like i am plodding along, just existing by accident. People ask me "what do you want in life?" and the truth is, i have no idea. I found out (by accident) that i wasn't a planned baby, and this is always at the back of my mind (though my mum reassures me i was very much wanted). I feel guilty because if it wasn't for me she would have been able to have a clean break from my bio dad, instead she is tied to him by life through me, and there's been so much conflict that i blame myself for. I feel like i don't really fit into life. And i wonder what the point of me being here actually is.

NobodysChild

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

In my darker days, i do have a tendancy to feel like i just don;t belong in this world, that i was never supposed to have existed (and that i shouldn't exist now). I've never had clear plans for the future. Everyone else around me seems to have aims/goals/dreams. They want a career or a house or a family. Me? I just feel like i am plodding along, just existing by accident. People ask me "what do you want in life?" and the truth is, i have no idea. I found out (by accident) that i wasn't a planned baby, and this is always at the back of my mind (though my mum reassures me i was very much wanted). I feel guilty because if it wasn't for me she would have been able to have a clean break from my bio dad, instead she is tied to him by life through me, and there's been so much conflict that i blame myself for. I feel like i don't really fit into life. And i wonder what the point of me being here actually is.

Awwwwwwwwwwww (((HUGS))) :A

miranda1_2

I can't say I fit into this world. Don't get me wrong, I am married with children, good job, mortgaged home, excellent earnings, lavish holidays, can buy anything I need but I am unhappy and will never be happy and normal. I swear I book holidays and do amazing stuff just to add to Facebook to show the world how well I conform.

If I could reinvent my life, I would. Keep the children but have a magical power to ensure its painless for all.

I avoid social situations outside the circle of family. I can't do small talk.

At work I am a guru. I excel. On paper I have an enviable life but inside I am somebody else. Marriage is a closed book, my inner thoughts are private and will probably die with me. At home I am different. I'm not sure if the real me is 9-5 success or 5-9 grouch.

What is nice about this thread is that most folk have the same feelings. We go through the textbook of life and aim to hit all the goals I.e work, marriage, house and kids yet some of us emotionally just want to live on a desert island.

I also believe I suffer a degree of narcissistic personality disorder which means that any relationship will never survive.

Quite sad. I will live on in a pretend world and will die with nobody really knowing the real me.

tealady

miranda1 wrote: »

I will live on in a pretend world and will die with nobody really knowing the real me.

That sounds a bit sad, however I would add there is always one who knows the real "you" and that is yourself.
As the song goes "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" and that is something I have learned to do over the years, even accepting my faults and trying to be a decent human being.

So let us all celebrate being different, unique. We are not jigsaw puzzle pieces , made of card and having to fit "somewhere". We are what makes the world a fascinating place full of surprises.:)

ACF95

Imagine feeling like this as a 19 year old, I have many people on my facebook from school and some of the things that I see them do and the decisions they make baffle me, especially the financial ones. The few friends I made from school would find me ridiculously boring if we spoke about the things I find interesting (Tim Hale rather than Timberlake), although they've stopped bothering with me so I've stopped bothering with them. This means that I have to find new friends, which considering I hate small talk is going to be an impossible task, I don't have the "social" gene as mentioned above. Nice to see there's others like me and hopefully as I progress through life I'll find like-minded individuals, especially as I'm going into the financial advise sector.

[Deleted User]

Love this thread.., know exactly what you all mean, particularly Brit Aboard's comments about conversation.

I deliberately isolate myself now. I used to feel lonely but now I value aloneness. I know its probably not healthy, but I am happier now. I don't want a man in my life, because after meeting a few, they seemed to be after one thing or well, there were very valid reasons they were single (bit of a wake up call for my nieve assumptions lol). I was quite startled that no one wanted to get to know ME as I wanted to get to know them.., it was all rush, rush, rush. I don't have a single friend, there's no one I want to be friends with now. I have yet to meet people who value differences rather than condemn them.

I've just accepted the pro's outweigh the cons of a lone life, and so that's the best way for me. Now if I could meet a few of the people on this thread, it might be a different story lololol.

LCDC

Wow, this has struck such a cord.


Loneliness is something I'm really struggling with at the moment - did the ex pat thing for a few years so can relate to that situation. Back in the UK now and have moved about a bit - work from home and have a small child and have not managed to meet one person or make a friend I connect with.


What's really disappointing is realising that a few people I thought were genuine lifelong friends and one in particular who I saw on a regular basis - well it seems like I was just convenient and since I've moved home I rarely hear from her and when I do it's usually me that instigates it. It hurts more than I care to admit.


I don't find it that easy to make friends (small talk makes me cringe and i'm rubbish at it) but I absolutely want to. I enjoy being social with someone I connect with but with the exception of maybe one or two people I'm finding it doesn't really happen for me. Even with family, I feel like an outsider looking in.

freespirit66

I agree with so much people have put on here, i also thought it must be me, i do suffer from depression and "social anxiety" have done for over 20 years but i do also think i just dont get people, like one lady said above about the clingy friend aaargggh i have had that and i dont like it, i have also had friends where they come to me for advice and help i dole it out but whenever i need it there is no one there and i dont like asking for help either, but these friends have been close enough to know i need support. I have always hated social occasions from my early 20s and avoided all if i could get away with it, then in my 40s i was sitting around a table with 10 of my friends close friends (to support her) and all of a sudden i just sat there listening to them all and felt very isolated and out of the loop and an incredible urge to leave, so i decided then and there i would no longer make up excuses not to go to social occasions and just say straight out no thankyou its not for me, i have also descaled people who have a negative impact on me and my life, so basically i am down to one friend who lives 200 miles away and i am happier than i have ever been, i have my grown up children and grandchild and that is all i need, i never feel lonely, i value the time i can choose to do what i want to do. Its probably not healthy but it sure makes me a happier person