Worried about dad's fitness to drive

alastairq

"look at my own skills" isn't relevant.

Erm, yes it is, decidedly.

For, you base your own judgement of the driving of others purely on what you yourself know.

Your mother is doing the same.

Leave Dad to his own devices....he will know when he's struggling to meet the demands of driving himself.

As you noted, he finds driving a pleasurable activity...some of us still do.

Yes, that may be seen as extending risk to others, but heck, there are millions of young motorists doing the same right now.

You must remember this is a public forum, and there are others with similar problems who simply lurk, looking for some sort of answer.

SeduLOUs

I rely on my other half to watch left for me if I'm turning right when he's a passenger.

I have been a passenger in his car many many times and trust he is a good driver, and trust him completely. He would not say "all clear" and put me in a difficult position. He also knows my driving well enough to know how quickly I pull out, and how much room I need to be "all clear" which is different to his own. Even still, I would still do a final 'check' glance left before actually pulling out.

So yes, I use him as an aid and trust his advice, which is possibly naive according to many - that's fine, your opinion is perfectly valid.

However, I was giving a colleague a lift recently and she told me I was "all clear" on the left. Did I trust her? No chance. I didn't go until I was 100% sure for myself.

fred246

sulphate wrote: »

He believes men should drive over women

Your dad sounds a bit ruthless.

gfplux

I live in Luxembourg and this problem is handled differently.
At age 65 you get a letter telling you to renew your driving license. This requires a visit to your GP. You are required to have a reasonably thorough medical. This covers if my memory serves. Sight, hearing, blood pressure, heart rate, prodding and poking and reflexes. With the form completed and a "pass" awarded this is sent of with a new photo and shortly afterwards you received your new licence.
This is repeated at 70 (just passed my medical a couple of months ago) and then every three years up to 80. I suspect it becomes an annual event but I don't want to think of it.
It is a right phaph but keeps us all safe.

DUTR

gfplux wrote: »

I live in Luxembourg and this problem is handled differently.
At age 65 you get a letter telling you to renew your driving license. This requires a visit to your GP. You are required to have a reasonably thorough medical. This covers if my memory serves. Sight, hearing, blood pressure, heart rate, prodding and poking and reflexes. With the form completed and a "pass" awarded this is sent of with a new photo and shortly afterwards you received your new licence.
This is repeated at 70 (just passed my medical a couple of months ago) and then every three years up to 80. I suspect it becomes an annual event but I don't want to think of it.
It is a right phaph but keeps us all safe.

How does it keep you all safe?
The amount of young street racers about with their big bore exhaust lowered and illegal lighting often is an accident just waiting to happen, as others have pointed out, the younger maybe more reactive, but their experience and hazard awareness only comes with time.

sulphate

fred246 wrote: »

Your dad sounds a bit ruthless.

Yes, he is.

sulphate

Erm, yes it is, decidedly.

For, you base your own judgement of the driving of others purely on what you yourself know.

Your mother is doing the same.
I'm sure the majority of people use their own experience and knowledge to judge situations.

Leave Dad to his own devices....he will know when he's struggling to meet the demands of driving himself.

I posted this thread because I know my dad a little better than you, and I don't think he will be able to make the judgement for himself when the time comes. As others have posted, there are other cases where the elderly have caused fatal accidents when they should probably have given up driving some time ago. I don't wish for my dad to be involved in such an accident.

As you noted, he finds driving a pleasurable activity...some of us still do.

Yes, that may be seen as extending risk to others, but heck, there are millions of young motorists doing the same right now.
So because there are some dangerous drivers in the younger age brackets, we shouldn't worry about our older relatives? That makes no sense at all to me. Also, I don't have any young "boy racer" relatives, and if I did and was concerned about their driving, I would want to speak to them about my worries as well. So I don't see how it's relevant that there are younger drivers causing havoc on the roads, because that's not what this thread is about.

You must remember this is a public forum, and there are others with similar problems who simply lurk, looking for some sort of answer.

DUTR

sulphate wrote: »

snip
So because there are some dangerous drivers in the younger age brackets, we shouldn't worry about our older relatives? That makes no sense at all to me. Also, I don't have any young "boy racer" relatives, and if I did and was concerned about their driving, I would want to speak to them about my worries as well. So I don't see how it's relevant that there are younger drivers causing havoc on the roads, because that's not what this thread is about.

You must remember this is a public forum, and there are others with similar problems who simply lurk, looking for some sort of answer.

No one can disagree you know your Dad better than we, however we have not seen his driving to make a descision, it would be equally as wrong to say to him 20 people on the internet says because of your age and reduced mobility you should stop driving. The young ones you are on about are the same young ones that could kill or maim your or a family member .

[Deleted User]

LandyAndy wrote: »

Well, that is up to you but I've always found it most distracting to have a passenger 'help' with information. I'd also be loath to have to explain that I'd done something without looking myself because someone else told me it would be ok.

When I was at school I had a Saturday job as a van driver's assistant. When we were waiting at give way lines, he always expected me to look left while he looked right. If I said go he would just go without looking for himself.

I never ask anyone to look for me, and never take any notice of anyone who does.

Yorkie1

Sulphate, I'm in a similar position to you with regard to my own dad. He had a near miss in the car with my mum recently but was adamant that he was not in the wrong - that the other driver was in the wrong. Mum does drive and from her description of what happened, I tend to accept her view that dad was in the wrong, even though my dad has always been a good and careful driver. He won't admit that he is generally becoming a bit slower now that he's 73. We are not convinced about his night time driving confidence, as he drives quite a bit below the legal limit in built up areas (nearer 20mph than 30mph in conditions where it is safe to drive at the limit).

I can't see him stopping voluntarily and he is well accustomed to listening politely to comments and then ignoring them (he has been married to my mum for over 40 years ... !!). His eyesight is checked regularly, as is his general health.

I know at least one person who has had to report their elderly parent to DVLA because they really were a whisker's breadth away from having accidents every time they went out in the car - and kept on finding the car keys when family members had hidden them.