Worried about dad's fitness to drive

jc808

Its not like


You know....

LandyAndy

DUTR wrote: »

Indeed, and in my car or when I'm driving the passenger can be a co driver, what you do in your car or a car you are in charge of is up to you.
I trust like me you have not been involved in a side accident.

Well, that is up to you but I've always found it most distracting to have a passenger 'help' with information. I'd also be loath to have to explain that I'd done something without looking myself because someone else told me it would be ok.

arcon5

Ah, the good ol OAP driver bashing thread.

I am not convinced he is a safer driver because his insurance premium is low. My parents buy the cheapest car they can and keep it until it is written off, any cosmetic damage done to it they don't bother getting fixed because to them there is no incentive to do so. I am not saying that they do this because they are older but perhaps they care less for their car's appearance than a younger driver,

It's really quite simple, if they replaced the car every time they write it off then simply they wouldn't have such low premiums.
A cheapo car doesn't mean cheaper insurance at all, in fact insuring a £300 car could well be more than a £3k car depending on what it is.



If elderly drivers was really that dangerous we can be sure they wouldn't benefit from some of the lowest premiums in the country. It's really that simple.

Young drivers may move their head more, but they also drive faster, more erratic and have a naive confidence about them. And their statistics certainly reflect this.

alastairq

My point was that he isn't asking the passenger to look round simply to make it easier (if I'm a passenger in DH's car he will sometimes ask me to look round to see if there is a car coming etc) but because he finds it very difficult to do himself so what does he do when there is no passenger?

Probably the same as you or I?

The issue of re-action time is a red herring.

[Yes, re-action times do become extended as one gets older].....when out driving, no driver should 're-act' to a situation...if they do, they are already too late.

The skill required is 'anticipation'.....something that is looked for, by Examiners, on all categories of driving test.

Something forgotten so far on here is that, as one gets older, and therefore acquires more & more experience of the driving environment, so our ability to anticipate, becomes more refined.

So an older driver can appear to have quicker reactions than a newer driver.....in reality, this won't be the case...but the older driver [more 'experienced?']...is using more refined skills of anticipation.

The problem with being a 'passenger' is that the passenger is not looking, and seeing, what the driver does.

The passenger doesn't possess the same brain-to-right foot responses the driver has.

Things a [non-skilled?] passenger appears to see, and worry about, the driver may have already identified and dealt with, or discounted....because the driver knows what the controls are going to do, to deal with it....not the passenger.

An example of this disparity occurs whenever we ourselves have to endure the 'back-seat-driver' .......?

As for concerns over the appearance of one's car?

This is irrelevant.

In the end, we polish our cars for two reasons...one, to protect it [like cleaning our boots]...and two, because we have an underlying concern about what others may think of us in our car..ie, we are hogtied by appearance?

If a person doesn't give a toss what they look like [to others], or whether their car is shiny, and displays all the fashion gizmos, then that doesn't mean they are a poor driver. It probably means they see the car for what it really is.....a mode of transport, a tool for a job.

BTW..before worrying about one's elderly relatives driving...best have a cold hard look at our own skills, eh?

Because if our own skills are limited, this is the starting point for us exercising a judgemental view of the actions of others.

Mojisola

alastairq wrote: »

Things a [non-skilled?] passenger appears to see, and worry about, the driver may have already identified and dealt with, or discounted....because the driver knows what the controls are going to do, to deal with it....not the passenger.

I agree with you to an extent but it's foolish to ignore that these skills do deteriorate as we age. Some people are still 100% at 100 but most of us aren't.

DUTR

LandyAndy wrote: »

Well, that is up to you but I've always found it most distracting to have a passenger 'help' with information. I'd also be loath to have to explain that I'd done something without looking myself because someone else told me it would be ok.

Like I said and the point you miss, I wouldn't be waiting for an instruction from the passenger, if they were partly blocking my maximum vision then I would simply ask them.

sulphate

Oh for goodness sake, I am concerned that my dad's driving skills may be deteriorating that's all, and was wondering how to best approach the subject with him, I am not interested in "bashing OAPs driving". Some of you seem to think I have some kind of ulterior motive which I don't. I never said he was dangerous. And I am not bashing them for not repairing scrapes on their car, I have a scrape on my bumper I haven't fixed, but that might be why their insurance premiums are low. Their cars are normally written off due to mechanical failure not due to accidents. I don't see what my driving skills have to do with anything, I am concerned for his safety and others he might come into contact with on the road, bearing in mind recent news stories.

DUTR

sulphate wrote: »

Oh for goodness sake, I am concerned that my dad's driving skills may be deteriorating that's all, and was wondering how to best approach the subject with him, I am not interested in "bashing OAPs driving". Some of you seem to think I have some kind of ulterior motive which I don't. I never said he was dangerous. And I am not bashing them for not repairing scrapes on their car, I have a scrape on my bumper I haven't fixed, but that might be why their insurance premiums are low. Their cars are normally written off due to mechanical failure not due to accidents. I don't see what my driving skills have to do with anything, I am concerned for his safety and others he might come into contact with on the road, bearing in mind recent news stories.

Remember though, that the opinion is only that of your Mum, I did ask if she drove too?
Overall as you are both not (perhaps) authorised to award a license or have the authority to retract his license. Then naturally there will be a debate about the topic.
Posters have asked you do you have a reasonable (to him) alternative to him giving up driving right now?
Will you be able to take him here and there ?

sulphate

i don't mind a debate about the topic but their motivation behind getting cosmetic scrapes fixed, and suggesting I should "look at my own skills" isn't relevant. Yes Mum drives too but when they go out in the car together dad always insists on driving, I'd be happy to drive him where he needs to go but I'm not sure that would work for that reason. He believes men should drive over women. I think if/when the conversation happens it would have to involve encouraging him to accept lifts from us.

They live in the middle of a city with good bus links which they use, they cycle when they can but dad doesn't as much now as he has fallen off a few times.

The thing is he does like driving and would take it hard to stop. They did get shopping delivered for awhile for example but don't now because dad likes to go out in the car and do it.

DUTR

sulphate wrote: »

i don't mind a debate about the topic but their motivation behind getting cosmetic scrapes fixed, and suggesting I should "look at my own skills" isn't relevant. Yes Mum drives too but when they go out in the car together dad always insists on driving, I'd be happy to drive him where he needs to go but I'm not sure that would work for that reason. He believes men should drive over women. I think if/when the conversation happens it would have to involve encouraging him to accept lifts from us.

They live in the middle of a city with good bus links which they use, they cycle when they can but dad doesn't as much now as he has fallen off a few times.

The thing is he does like driving and would take it hard to stop. They did get shopping delivered for awhile for example but don't now because dad likes to go out in the car and do it.

I don't think it was I that suggested looking at your (your Mum's) own driving. I guess as they are older, then a generaion has a different attitiude to gender, driving aside for the moment, it seems it's to girls ganging up on a lad . When my Mum packed up she appeared to be driving fine, she told us when she asked us to sell her car, that it was due to her sight at night, we are in a busy city too, TBH buses and bus stops can be a dangerous place. As said earlier some folk can be nervous passengers.
I hope you all can come to some positive compromise :cool: