Worried about dad's fitness to drive

sulphate

I haven't been in a car with my dad for awhile but the recent publicity about elderly drivers causing accidents has reminded me of a couple of things my mum has said lately. He had a minor scrape with another car a few months ago, nothing major. When my mum and I travelled 200 miles to my uncle's funeral last month my mum told him not to come because she knew he would insist on driving and she didn't want him to drive with me in the car as I'm pregnant. :eek:

He is 81 and his general health is good but apparently his neck is too stiff for him to turn his head adequately when driving and will ask other people in the car to look round for him when parking etc.

The obvious solution is to talk to him but he is very stubborn and won't listen to anyone about anything at the best of times so I don't think this would make a difference. I have no reason to get in the car with him any time soon so don't have much weight behind my argument either. Can anyone suggest how to approach the subject tactfully and if there is anything else I can do?

DUTR

They will pack in driving when they are ready, the mature driver is still somewhat safer on the roads than the wanna be, teen boy racer. If someone is in the car with me, I expect them to be an extra set of eyes at junctions etc.

AdrianC

DUTR wrote: »

They will pack in driving when they are ready

The problem is that that might be a long while after they become incapable of driving safely, and it might take external forces to persuade them.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-30578887
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/11217910/Plea-for-elderly-driving-tests-after-woman-93-kills-cyclist.html

Just two very recent stories relating to elderly drivers who thought they were fine but really weren't. The problem is that the elderly both refuse to accept that their faculties are failing, and feel they require the car for their independence - a bad combination.

GPs have a duty to report medical conditions to DVLA, but general poor sight and poor reactions and lack of mobility just slip through unnoticed.

[Deleted User]

The police can't necessarily do anything either.

Mankysteve

If it's just he stiff neck making it harder to to proper checks. Then there additional mirrors that can purchased that can greatly improve all round viability.

maninthestreet

DUTR wrote: »

If someone is in the car with me, I expect them to be an extra set of eyes at junctions etc.

:eek::eek::eek:

alastairq

We can all acquire a stiff neck [for example] at any stage of life.

Also, given the length of time an elderly person has held a licence, and the length of time the have been out driving over the years, it is reasonable to expect the odd scrape now and again. Laws of averages, etc??

Just because it happened when Dad is 80+, rather than 45, doesn't necessarily provide evidence of the onset of incompetence.

The question is, how is his normal, day-to-day, driving standard?

How much of a 'risk' do his insurers see him?

Mojisola

DUTR wrote: »

They will pack in driving when they are ready, the mature driver is still somewhat safer on the roads than the wanna be, teen boy racer.

If only that was true!

Stopping driving has such a dramatic effect on your life that most people cling on well after they're unfit to drive.

My Dad stayed a good driver as in controlling the vehicle, reading the road, etc, but his reaction time got so much slower that we had to have the conversation about it. He hated stopping driving and losing his independence.

Fortunately, we had had a lot of discussions around the issue because a neighbour was positively dangerous on the road before her son disabled her car and made sure the garage took months and months to 'get the parts' so that she lost interest in driving.

My OH and I have a driving assessment every four/five years so that someone can independently tell us if it's time to get off the road. We'll told our kids that if they say we need an assessment before the five years are up, we'll do it.

greenval

It's difficult because the issue for many isn't just giving up driving but the loss of independence driving gives you. That said I had to give up at 45 due to sight problems so I know what it's like.
I think you are right to be concerned but it may be a case of exploring the wider issues or as someone else said looking at getting different mirrors or angling them differently.

jc808

DUTR wrote: »

They will pack in driving when they are ready, the mature driver is still somewhat safer on the roads than the wanna be, teen boy racer. If someone is in the car with me, I expect them to be an extra set of eyes at junctions etc.

Someone else who shouldnt be on the road then....

EcoR1

http://lifeasawidower.com/2014/12/22/tell-them/