ohs mum on her own xmas day.

merlin68

I have tried, but no one will have her,shes coming to mine boxing day. As i am going to my family xmas day. Now i am the one left feeling guilty, could have done without it myself as not too well.But i have done it the last 19 years.

Tigsteroonie

Is your OH an only child (or at least, the only one in the UK)?

If not, don't feel guilty.

In fact, why should you feel guilty at all? She's your OH mum, not yours

merlin68

Theres 4 of them altogether,i just feel bad that an old ladies on her on xmas day. Even though shes at mine boxing day.

Tigsteroonie

Are any of the four feeling as guilty as you?

And does your OH's Mum actually want to go somewhere for Christmas? She might be breathing a sigh of relief at having a quiet day at home, no pressure, no children, and her choice of television ...

lincroft1710

There is a solution but probably neither practical nor desirable - you go to your family, OH goes to his mother.

In hard, matter of fact terms, it's just another day on her own, she can then celebrate her Christmas on the 26th.

clarryd

I am sorry but I would have never let my mum or OH mum be on their own on Christmas Day. My mum died 14 years ago and would give anything for her to be with me at Christmas.

I know you are not well yourself but could you not ask your other family if they could make room for your OH mum as leaving her all alone on Christmas Day is not an option. And I am not saying this about you because it is your OH mum , but it is not very nice that her own family (her other children) don't want her, be the bigger person and ask for an extra place at the table for her. You will feel much better knowing she is not alone. Maybe it's not possible for her to go to your other family but at least if you ask you will be doing the right thing.

pinkshoes

Why can't she come with you to your family? My gran always came with us to my other grandparents house!

gettingtheresometime

lincroft1710 wrote: »

In hard, matter of fact terms, it's just another day on her own, she can then celebrate her Christmas on the 26th.

This is the attitude my mum is taking.

Through a variety of circumstances it looks as if my mum will be on her own on the 25th - I'm not 100% happy about it but as she says what's different about the 25th compared to the 24th or the 26th? She also says she can watch what she likes, eat when she likes and wear what she likes as well.

merlin68

My mum wont have anyone else, as shes just had surgery herself. plus it would mean his mum sleeping downstairs on sofa with no toilet round mine as she cant manage stairs. Also i cant drive,so wouldn't be able to get to my mums if he went round his .

Oakie

My mother in law always came along to all of my family get togethers,along with any other of my siblings's assorted out laws. She loved having lots of people to chat to.
What does your mil want to do? She might be pleased to have a quite day to herself.

clarryd

merlin68 wrote: »

My mum wont have anyone else, as shes just had surgery herself. plus it would mean his mum sleeping downstairs on sofa with no toilet round mine as she cant manage stairs. Also i cant drive,so wouldn't be able to get to my mums if he went round his .

In that case you should speak to you OH and tell him that he has to tell his siblings that one of them must have her for Christmas dinner. She looked after them and made their dinner enough in the past so a obvious thing would be to reciprocate it.

Its not your fault that her own children don't want her, they should feel ashamed of themselves.