How Many Friends would you say you have?

lovewealthhappiness

I have 6 or 7 people who I can call and arrange to spend time with, but no-one who I could call in an emergency or who would be there for me if I needed it. I've come to terms with this (I think...) but I'm surprised at how many people are the same and say they have no friends even if the topic is being discussed on an online forum.

Friends are overrated.

Kinda.

:beer:

Timeflies

I think it has been harder for me to make friends as I've got older. I have a friendly nature, and get on well with workmates etc, but haven't made any new close friends (as in talk about our feelings, speak or get together regularly, give each other life advice etc) in about 7 years.

I have made a new circle of friends through my hobby since then (this is how I met my OH, so they're mostly mutual friends). They're very geographically dispersed though, so we're mostly in touch via facebook, then see each of them 2-8 times a year for weekends. None of them would call for a chat, but I interact with people from the scene every day on facebook.

I have 3 close friends that I talk to regularly on the phone and know very well - I see each of them 1-6 times a year, as they all live 150+ miles away.

I would love to have friends nearby that would pop over for a cuppa or lunch; I haven't had geographically close friends for a while. I do know a few friends from the past that live nearby, but we've just fallen out of the habit of seeing each other. You tell yourself you too busy with work, study, new relationship, illness, moving house or whatever to see people, then when you find yourself with free time, no-one's all that desperate to see you when you get on touch, because it's been a while and they've moved on.

I'm expecting a baby (due this week!:eek:) and am hoping through kids activities OH and I'll meet more people locally, especially as we'll be less able to travel with my hobby to see those friends.

In one respect it's a bit sad that I spend an hour or two a day interacting with remote friends on facebook, but rarely see people in person. I do miss that.

robotrobo

SailorSam wrote: »

If you were a man Sue, there's a joke there. ........
........ My Wife ran off with my best mate. I don't half miss him.

had he a white stick;)

HeavyMetalFan

SailorSam wrote: »

I've got about 100 flying pigs.

I'm guessing you're not an Alan Partridge fan?!

Edwardia

The number dosn't matter because it's Quality not Quantity which counts.

rosered1963

At this stage in my life, having moved to be nearer my elderly parents and working for myself in a solitary job, I would say I do not have even one friend. I know 100s of people who know me, but they aren't friends.

I loved having friends that were so close that you didn't have to try - just like a part of you, but life changes and even if I met such a person now, I have no time and no money for socialising, so I wouldn't realise that I had met a gem of a person!

My two oldest and best friends died 4 years ago, and I still miss them. I am married and my husband is the love of my life, but I don't consider romantic love the same as platonic friendship.

January20

It's interesting to see what people regard as being a friend and compare it with my views.

There are people I work with who would say they are my friends, but we only work together, chat for a few minutes occasionally and very, very rarely meet outside work, as I don't really want to spend my free time watching my Ps & Qs! They are not my friends.

I have fewer friends than ever because I am much more fussy about who I spend my time with. I've just cut ties with a someone because of their constant moaning, their ignorant and intolerant attitude and I felt their demands on my free time were getting too much. I feel a bit guilty about this to be honest, but I must be selfish and do what is right for me.

I know that I also "detach" myself from people because of past experiences: I too had a best friend who ended up running with my partner. I have 2 closer friends, but they are from abroad and one will be going back soon I think, whilst the other spends all her holidays back home.

I wonder if it's an age thing also: as I'm older, I know that people leaving, getting a new partner, etc means I'll see a lot less, if any at all, of them. Some friends are in your life for a certain period of time. I'm not sure I want to invest the emotional energy it requires. I'm also the person people turn to in a crisis. I'm practical and supportive, but for me, it's exhausting!

taliwillow

Just wrote a long post about friendship in the modern world then hit the wrong button and lost it all! Arrgghh.

The gist of the post was that it seems in my friendship circle, if aren't on facebook you don't exist (I recently deactivated my facebook account as I felt it wasn't helping my mental health). Maybe it's just because it's Christmas but I think it is more likely to be that facebook is a quick and easy way to speak to people and no one seems to have the time or inclination to make an effort with others. Since leaving facebook I have not heard from anyone.

So in answer to your question OP, I would say I don't have any friends. Although at the moment maybe that is the best thing for me.

January20

taliwillow wrote: »

Just wrote a long post about friendship in the modern world then hit the wrong button and lost it all! Arrgghh.

The gist of the post was that it seems in my friendship circle, if aren't on facebook you don't exist (I recently deactivated my facebook account as I felt it wasn't helping my mental health). Maybe it's just because it's Christmas but I think it is more likely to be that facebook is a quick and easy way to speak to people and no one seems to have the time or inclination to make an effort with others. Since leaving facebook I have not heard from anyone.

So in answer to your question OP, I would say I don't have any friends. Although at the moment maybe that is the best thing for me.

I agree with you. My new year's resolution is to deactivate my facebook account. I find it has a negative effect on me as well. I get too irritated by what people post.

FatVonD

January20 wrote: »

I agree with you. My new year's resolution is to deactivate my facebook account. I find it has a negative effect on me as well. I get too irritated by what people post.

I'm not on facebook but if I was I'd be exactly like that, I'd end up with even less friends!