What polite method would you use stop a colleague hitting on you?

[Deleted User]

Hi,

havn't read all replies, but,

just tell him you have a boyfriend or partner,

if he says 'why didn't you tell me before?',

just say you need to keep it quiet as he is married, or you are lesbian.

adouglasmhor

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Not so often with the more overtly religious ones, though.

I wouldn't be surprised - represed behaviour and guilt make some people act very strangely.

Brighton_belle

suki1964 wrote: »

However in answer to your question, a knee in the balls usually works

Yes, but this sort of causal violence is never acceptable toward men, just as him slapping her round the face wouldn't be either.


OP just needs to learn to be firm, clear and direct, preferably in the presence of witnesses.

justme111

So how 2 texts and one what's up request amount to harassment?
Op, i am afraid not having conversations that you uncomfortable to have is a basic social skill . We all have cringing moments in our memories when we done things we did not like, the answer is to take responsibility rather than blaming others

littlegreenparrot

It may be a person's tone, their body language. It could be intrusive personal questions, there may be other work interactions that follow the same pattern that are to long winded to go into here.

The important thing is that someone is made to feel uncomfortable, and that needs to stop. It may well be the bloke is not good at social cues, and is simply not realising, rather than ignoring the obvious. In that case some clear communication can solve it. It may also be him being a creep, and it could escalate.

I have read reports of people who end up in very unpleasant situations. A common theme is that they thought it would be fine, they didn't want to be rude, it was their imagination, something up they couldn't put their finger on etc etc
Then suddenly it definitely wasn't fine, and they had lost control of the situation.

We pick up a lot from non-verbal communication and it can be difficult to describe. But if you normally feel confident and safe, and a person takes that feeling away from you, you need to do something about it. Because if everything was good you wouldn't be asking the question in the first place iyswim.

TBagpuss

I agree completely with both of LittleGreenParrot's posts. Tell the coordinator, and tell this man, firmly, that you are not interested and do not want him to contact you.
He may well react by claiming you have misunderstood, or that he's only trying to be friendly. It is absolutely fine to say, in response "that is not how you came across" You do not need to apologise or explain further. And if, having told him that you are not interested and do not want him to contact you, he does it again, report it to your supervisor or the volunteer coordinator and make clear to them that you have previously specifically told him not to contact you.