What polite method would you use stop a colleague hitting on you?

littlegreenparrot

The definition of harassment is ongoing, unwanted attention - this situation certainly meets these criteria.
It doesn't have to be physical to make people feel uncomfortable.

You need to explain to your superviser/co-ordinator whoever what's happening at the earliest opportunity, even if its just to give them a heads up about what might become a more difficult situation.

Block the number on every device/app etc. You don't need to give him a reason, or even mention it.

Say something very clearly (preferably with witnesses) along the lines of 'I'm sorry if you misunderstood, I'm not interested in a date, or contact outside work' Be direct, sometimes people don't get subtleties.
If he continues to make you uncomfortable you need to report it. It is not acceptable for him to continue when you've asked him not to. And remember its his problem, not yours.

I work in safeguarding in educational establishments. Its always better to be safe than sorry. If one of my learners were telling me this it would concern me.
And no certainly does always mean no, unless you want to end up in a police station.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

adouglasmhor wrote: »

Many straight guys would see that as a bonus TBH.

Not so often with the more overtly religious ones, though.

VfM4meplse

Mojisola wrote: »

Why should she have to tell silly stories to scare him off? She's said no - that should be enough.

You say that, but I'm not sure ignoring it always solves the problem either.

I've had to freeze out a bare acquaintance with stalkerish tendencies. He still emails an occasional rant. If I suddenly disappear from this forum you'll have to use your powers of deduction to work out whodunnit :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Mojisola

VfM4meplse wrote: »

You say that, but I'm not sure ignoring it always solves the problem either.

Has anyone suggested she ignores him?

I would follow what several people have said - tell him very clearly in front of someone else that you are not interested in him and block all forms of communication he uses. If he still persists, then it would be time to make it official - this may not be the first time he's done this to a volunteer.

suki1964

To be honest I'm thinking you must have had more interaction then you are admitting to if he has your whatssapp id

However in answer to your question, a knee in the balls usually works

mgdavid

suki1964 wrote: »

To be honest I'm thinking you must have had more interaction then you are admitting to if he has your whatssapp id

However in answer to your question, a knee in the balls usually works

doesn't answer the question; operative word being 'polite'.

moneysniffer

suki1964 wrote: »

To be honest I'm thinking you must have had more interaction then you are admitting to if he has your whatssapp id

However in answer to your question, a knee in the balls usually works

You can be contacted on Whatsapp with just your mobile number, no app specific ID is required.

throwaway5

suki1964 wrote: »

To be honest I'm thinking you must have had more interaction then you are admitting to if he has your whatssapp id

However in answer to your question, a knee in the balls usually works

Oh hell no. He just added my number on whatsapp and queried why I wasn't replying to his texts/whatsapp/phone calls. Only times I've talked to him have been while volunteering/training.

Thing is, he's a good volunteer, helpful and polite to patients etc etc... BUT interrogated me like I was speed dating with him while I cleared up an area. I like an idiot answered all his nosy questions because I'm pretty open about these things. Just hate it when someone frames my life into a sob story that needs fixing via marriage or Church!!

throwaway5

mgdavid wrote: »

doesn't answer the question; operative word being 'polite'.

Yes, I'm RUBBISH at dealing with persistent types of people. I've just run away from them in the past, but can't avoid him!

throwaway5

Wish me luck!!