What polite method would you use stop a colleague hitting on you?

owen_money

Awwww he seems like a nice guy. Go on give him a chance, its nearly Christmas.

[Deleted User]

Personally, I wouldn't wait, I'd change my shifts now. Any contact you have with him will just feed whatever ego trip he's on. The comments you have reported (from him) suggest not that he's flattering you, but that that he's on some kind of ego deflating power trip. Don't give him the joy of more communication etc.

Just change shifts, block him on whatever apps he can contact you through. If he persists, then its time to contact a manager.

adouglasmhor

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I would be more inclined to say 'my wife', personally.

Many straight guys would see that as a bonus TBH.

supermassive

Marktheshark wrote: »

Hundreds of ways, that take lots of energy.
One very simple one is a short message "Can my boyfriend tag along"
Problem solved

You'd be surprised how many people simply see being in a relationship as a challenge. :rotfl: The amount of times I've had to tell people that it's never going to happen, they're not irresistible and (in the case of OP) I don't want to go to church because the altar I have in my wardrobe allows me to praise the one true dark lord.

throwaway5

owen_money wrote: »

Awwww he seems like a nice guy. Go on give him a chance, its nearly Christmas.

I do have standards

Mojisola

throwaway5 wrote: »

I do not want to talk to this guy outside of volunteering.

I don't want to talk with him late at night.

I don't want to date him.

I don't want to go to his church.

throwaway5 wrote: »

I do have standards

You don't have to 'give him a chance'.

You don't have to explain to anyone why you don't want to have contact with him outside of the volunteering time.

No means no.

supermassive

I think "no means no" is a bit rich coming from a gender that used to revel (and sometimes still does) in exhibitionism of their aesthetic & playing "hard to get". He's trying to coax her into interaction, not pinning her down in an alleyway.

Anyway, have you tried telling him about your upcoming surgery to complete your transition into a real female? Start with "I've dreamed about this since I was a little boy!".

That'll scare him off.

purpleshoes_2

supermassive wrote: »

I think "no means no" is a bit rich coming from a gender that used to revel (and sometimes still does) in exhibitionism of their aesthetic & playing "hard to get". He's trying to coax her into interaction, not pinning her down in an alleyway.

Anyway, have you tried telling him about your upcoming surgery to complete your transition into a real female? Start with "I've dreamed about this since I was a little boy!".

That'll scare him off.

All women don't play hard to get or games when it comes to the opposite sex. He's making her feel uncomfortable, that's enough.

Ive been on the receiving end of unwanted texts recently. I used to run a group where it was easier for people to have my mobile because so many people couldnt read basic instruction easily, however a couple of the men in the group decided that they'd use my number to ask me on a date. And in one person's case, no amount of saying no politely got those messages to stop. I had to block his number in the end.

It doesn't matter that this interaction isn't threatening or physical, it's unwanted and causing stress and it needs to stop.

Mojisola

supermassive wrote: »

I think "no means no" is a bit rich coming from a gender that used to revel (and sometimes still does) in exhibitionism of their aesthetic & playing "hard to get".

Well, that's 50% of the world's population written off!

He's trying to coax her into interaction, not pinning her down in an alleyway.

No, he's making her uncomfortable while volunteering and is contacting her outside as well which is unwelcome.

How many times should he be allowed to 'coax' her before he accepts that she does not want anything to do with him?

Anyway, have you tried telling him about your upcoming surgery to complete your transition into a real female? Start with "I've dreamed about this since I was a little boy!".

That'll scare him off.

Why should she have to tell silly stories to scare him off? She's said no - that should be enough.

Orlando_Virgin

Any normal guy would get the hint from how blunt you've been. I know if you hadn't replied to any of my texts that were leading and only the work related ones I'd get the message. And "missing" someone, who you volunteered with is weird and incredibly full on.

I'd block him straight up, he sounds a bit stalkerish