Should People Have Children If They Cant Afford Them

purpleshoes_2

People challenging someone on their opinions isn't shameful. You've made some bold statements and some massive generalisations. I'd challenge anyone who came out with anything similar.

peachyprice

bluelass wrote: »

They can. But with my hubby being a first time granddad she thinks its a privledge and he should buy or give whatever she wants for the child. everytime we see her its oh I seen this or that for him but its such a price. Does anyone know what im saying now?

No, you just sound bitter and jealous TBH.

meer53

supermassive wrote: »

Like investing the little money they have in contraception.

It's likely to be a bitter pill to swallow, but perhaps if people were less obsessed with having children more important life objectives would be achieved. Accidents happen, I was one (as fas as my dad knows.. my mother's safety pin knows otherwise), but to plan to bring a baby into a household with not very much money - or, as the thread title suggests, if they cannot afford it, adds up to abuse. Bringing life into the world so that the poor child can scrape by for the first god knows how many years of its life? Fab.



The practicalities of that are impossible. How would I travel to this new job? Would I move house? Who's paying for that? If I move house, who's paying the rent before I start getting paid from this fabulous new job? :rotfl:

I didn't say that the people in my home town are the only type of parents, but that poorer parents are a strain on a child's life and you risk them having a pretty poor upbringing - not emotionally, unless you're that way inclined, which many poor folk are.



Well I certainly don't class people on benefits of their own doing (kids) as anything worthy of not being looked down my nose at. Why would I? Should I be impressed that they can procreate or that they live off the state so fabulously?

Impossible ????

How about doing what most other people do ? Saving. You have a job, no children, whats to stop you ? I'm a single parent with 2 kids, I manage to save, why can't you ?

To claim that having children when you're poor is "abuse" is just ridiculous. You look down on people and sneer at them, not a nice trait IMO.

purpleshoes_2

Lots of people who are poor actually work. There are many people who earn low wages and even with working tax credits don't earn a great deal. There are families where generation after generation of people don't work and I dare say don't want to work, but that isn't how it is for everyone. I have a friend who brought up 3 kids and there wasn't a lot of money around at times. Her kids now have kids of their own, both work, one is married. My friend struggled to find work as well but is working now and has been for a number of years.

People who don't have a lot of money at times in their lives, circumstances can and do change. I'm not the biggest fan of jack Monroe but she's had a lot of abuse on social media due to giving up a job due to childcare issues and ending up in poverty. She still gets abuse even though her financial circumstances have changed for the better.

Not every single person who has kids and isn't working and doesn't have much money stays in that situation their whole life, things change.

Going back to the neighbour I spoke about earlier, with the number of kids she has and their ages, she'd be getting around 270 a week in benefits. That might fit official definitions of being poor but that isn't poverty.

I think also, if people are going to be criticised for spending their whole life on benefits then some criticism should be aimed at the system that makes some people better off being out of work than in it.

purpleshoes_2

meer53 wrote: »

Impossible ????

How about doing what most other people do ? Saving. You have a job, no children, whats to stop you ? I'm a single parent with 2 kids, I manage to save, why can't you ?

To claim that having children when you're poor is "abuse" is just ridiculous. You look down on people and sneer at them, not a nice trait IMO.

It amazes me that one person seems to know so much about poor people and how they behave.

Quite amazing really.

purpleshoes_2

supermassive wrote: »

Kids that grow up in those types of families will grow up feeling entitled to do very little to zero work and get their big fancy electrical goods. Then what? I think we've all got burglar alarms for a reason. That's an extreme example to many, probably, though.

Anyone can get caught up in the criminal justice system, including people from wealthy backgrounds and its not a given that someone who grows up in a family where parents don't work will turn to crime.

You said earlier about children going to school based on property. Its more to do with catchment areas, I grew up on a council estate but there were a mix of council and private and that catchment area was quite wide. The other local schools were similar, even the roughest school in the area had a mix of kids from different backgrounds.

The property I lived in had very little to do with where I went to school, it was the area, because in many areas you'll find a mix of housing, the housing estate I live in is bordered by a number of private estates.

So unless a family wants to send its kids to a fee paying school you'll get a mix of different backgrounds at many comprehensives. I had the same education as kids whose families earned more than mine and less than mine.

meer53

I grew up on a council estate but went to Grammar School. As did one of my brothers. My other brother went to the local comprehensive school.

My son went to Grammar School, my daughter goes to the local high school. I own my own house.

supermassive

meer53 wrote: »

Impossible ????

How about doing what most other people do ? Saving. You have a job, no children, whats to stop you ? I'm a single parent with 2 kids, I manage to save, why can't you ?

To claim that having children when you're poor is "abuse" is just ridiculous. You look down on people and sneer at them, not a nice trait IMO.

I cannot save because what little money I do have spare at the end of the month goes on my younger brother (8) who lives with a carer.

Let's look at the arguement from the other side - it's great to bring a child into a home with very little money, right? It'd be almost ridiculous not to bring a child into the world when you're barely financially stable - infact, it's a great idea! :rotfl:

purpleshoes_2

I'm pretty sure many people who grew up in wealthy homes who wanted for nothing materially had miserable childhoods.

It doesn't and it shouldn't all come down to money. Not everyone who signs on is a walking benefit streets stereotype with their big tellies and latest Iphones. Not everyone who is skint will be skint permanently.

I have friends who work, both parents work and they have a mortgage, kids and not a lot of spare cash. Being short of cash isn't just something that happens to people on council estates, lots of people are feeling the pinch just now and that looks likely to continue.

If we went with the argument that no one should ever have kids until they were financially stable (and could guarantee financial stability until the kids reached adulthood), then no one would have kids ever, because life is so changeable that its possible to have millions and lose it or come from a very ordinary background and make lots of money later in life.

I went to school with someone who left at 16 and is now worth a fortune. He grew up in a council house with parents who didn't earn very much.

Going by some people's arguments, he and lots of other people like him should never have been born.

Tropez

Speaking as an accident, I don't think that planning to have kids really factors into it...

It's irresponsible to bring children into the world just because you feel the need to do so, regardless of being thousands in debt, having no stable living environment and no emergency plan for the future when everything goes tits up; but people do it and somehow survive.

Really, people shouldn't have kids unless they know what the hell they're doing when it comes to looking after them. I gather money is part of it but there's a lot more to having kids.

See, I could afford to have kids - I don't want to though because I'd be a crap parent and I realise that so the responsible thing is to not have them