Can the court find me if ex has filed a custody order?

Shen81

Isla-rose wrote: »

Hello
Basically I have a very newborn premature baby who is currently still in hospital. My ex boyfriend (who we were barely together more than a month) decided to say he wanted no contact (initially) He was extremely abusive towards me when we spoke up both verbally and psychically. He threatened to have people "kick the baby out of me" and even tried to punch me in the stomach. At the end of the pregnancy he suddenly asks about the baby (calls me up randomly) starts asking about him then says he wants involvement and to see the child. I told him I was not happy with that at all due to what he said to me and having genuine concerns over the safety of the child.

He then CONTINUED to be verbally aggressive and threatening towards me. The thing is I didn't save any of his messages but I retaliated to these messages quite badly and perhaps in the wrong way. I was quite nasty back and told him that he would have nothing to do with his child and that the child needed saving from him not giving to him. he claims he has screenshot all of this and denies that he ever said anything horrible to me nor was he verbally and psychically aggressive and stupidly I have know evidence.

He doesn't even know the baby has been born but I guess he must have guessed or found out from somewhere. He asked to see the baby and I said no. Please do not judge me, he was so horrible to me and I do have genuine concerns, this is not out of spite at all. I fear that because he never wanted this baby and threatened me throughout the pregnancy that he will do something to hurt the baby. I have offered him visitation in a contact center at a later date and he says no because he shouldn't have to.

He has said this to me.
"he has filed a court application and already paid and sent it off" he also said "He should hear from them in 2 weeks"
I asked how he was going to trace me as he does not know my address and much about me and he said "he gave them every detail that was on my scan photo including my name and date of birth and NHS number"- Can the courts trace me just from this? Does the NHS have authority to give private information?

Does this sound like it could be genuine or like he is trying to make me worried? I am a bit concerned, I know that if I want to keep him away then at some point I will have to go to court but I am a nervous wreck right now with a very poorly baby.

Who are you to play god with your child's life? He has every right to see his child. You could be making up everything you are saying about him. I also see you say you have no proof. If you are concerned about his behaviour towards you. Let him see the child, but have an independent witness there whilst he visits.

Poppie68

Shen81 wrote: »

Who are you to play god with your child's life? He has every right to see his child. You could be making up everything you are saying about him. I also see you say you have no proof. If you are concerned about his behaviour towards you. Let him see the child, but have an independent witness there whilst he visits.

Accusing the Op of playing god is a tadge dramatic. Having no proof doesn't mean these incidents haven't happened. If what she says is true (something you or I have no proof of either way) then the Ops priority is to do everything in her power to make sure the baby is not put in harm's way. Abusing and threatening the mum doesn't make him a candidate for the dad of the year award and while the baby is so young it's best to get all issues resolved one way or another.

thorsoak

Shen81 wrote: »

Who are you to play god with your child's life? He has every right to see his child. You could be making up everything you are saying about him. I also see you say you have no proof. If you are concerned about his behaviour towards you. Let him see the child, but have an independent witness there whilst he visits.

We are not talking about a child conceived in love, this child is the result of a quick shag by a couple who had known each other by a month! By her own admission, the mother wasn't too keen on becoming a parent - and the sperm donor even more anti-baby.

This poor child has not had a good start, but the mother has realised this and wishes to raise the baby. The attitude of the sperm donor during the pregnancy has made it clear that there can be no relationship between the pair of them and his threats now do not make her think that he would be a good father.

She does need to talk to Social Services about her concerns - they will have the best interests of the child at the fore. The rights of the parents have to be deferred to the rights and needs of the child.

To talk about the mother playing god with her child's life is ridiculous.

hazyjo

Arrange supervised visits at visiting centres. If he's as bad as you say, my guess is he'll soon get bored of that. One slip up and they'll make it very hard for him to continue seeing the child.


Jx

Mojisola

rosie-lee wrote: »

Visiting a baby in hospital can mean it is more convenient to Register your baby at the Hospital. Ask the nursing staff if the registrars visit.

Once registered you can use the birth certificate to apply for child benefit. You don't need any additional financial worries at this time. You can explain this is why you cannot wait until he is around.

You don't have to give an explanation.

rpc

Isla-rose wrote: »

Off my social media account.

Why does he have access to that?

If this goes to court, he may or may not get contact. Your police reports will help argue against him having any contact (or such contact being in a contact centre). Default assumption will be that the baby needs a relationship with their father.

You have filed police reports, haven't you? If not, do so now.