Can the court find me if ex has filed a custody order?

Isla-rose

Hello
Basically I have a very newborn premature baby who is currently still in hospital. My ex boyfriend (who we were barely together more than a month) decided to say he wanted no contact (initially) He was extremely abusive towards me when we spoke up both verbally and psychically. He threatened to have people "kick the baby out of me" and even tried to punch me in the stomach. At the end of the pregnancy he suddenly asks about the baby (calls me up randomly) starts asking about him then says he wants involvement and to see the child. I told him I was not happy with that at all due to what he said to me and having genuine concerns over the safety of the child.

He then CONTINUED to be verbally aggressive and threatening towards me. The thing is I didn't save any of his messages but I retaliated to these messages quite badly and perhaps in the wrong way. I was quite nasty back and told him that he would have nothing to do with his child and that the child needed saving from him not giving to him. he claims he has screenshot all of this and denies that he ever said anything horrible to me nor was he verbally and psychically aggressive and stupidly I have know evidence.

He doesn't even know the baby has been born but I guess he must have guessed or found out from somewhere. He asked to see the baby and I said no. Please do not judge me, he was so horrible to me and I do have genuine concerns, this is not out of spite at all. I fear that because he never wanted this baby and threatened me throughout the pregnancy that he will do something to hurt the baby. I have offered him visitation in a contact center at a later date and he says no because he shouldn't have to.

He has said this to me.
"he has filed a court application and already paid and sent it off" he also said "He should hear from them in 2 weeks"
I asked how he was going to trace me as he does not know my address and much about me and he said "he gave them every detail that was on my scan photo including my name and date of birth and NHS number"- Can the courts trace me just from this? Does the NHS have authority to give private information?

Does this sound like it could be genuine or like he is trying to make me worried? I am a bit concerned, I know that if I want to keep him away then at some point I will have to go to court but I am a nervous wreck right now with a very poorly baby.

coolcait

Isla-rose wrote: »

Hello
Basically I have a very newborn premature baby who is currently still in hospital. My ex boyfriend (who we were barely together more than a month) decided to say he wanted no contact (initially) He was extremely abusive towards me when we spoke up both verbally and psychically. He threatened to have people "kick the baby out of me" and even tried to punch me in the stomach. At the end of the pregnancy he suddenly asks about the baby (calls me up randomly) starts asking about him then says he wants involvement and to see the child. I told him I was not happy with that at all due to what he said to me and having genuine concerns over the safety of the child.

He then CONTINUED to be verbally aggressive and threatening towards me. The thing is I didn't save any of his messages but I retaliated to these messages quite badly and perhaps in the wrong way. I was quite nasty back and told him that he would have nothing to do with his child and that the child needed saving from him not giving to him. he claims he has screenshot all of this and denies that he ever said anything horrible to me nor was he verbally and psychically aggressive and stupidly I have know evidence.

He doesn't even know the baby has been born but I guess he must have guessed or found out from somewhere. He asked to see the baby and I said no. Please do not judge me, he was so horrible to me and I do have genuine concerns, this is not out of spite at all. I fear that because he never wanted this baby and threatened me throughout the pregnancy that he will do something to hurt the baby. I have offered him visitation in a contact center at a later date and he says no because he shouldn't have to.

He has said this to me.
"he has filed a court application and already paid and sent it off" he also said "He should hear from them in 2 weeks"
I asked how he was going to trace me as he does not know my address and much about me and he said "he gave them every detail that was on my scan photo including my name and date of birth and NHS number"- Can the courts trace me just from this? Does the NHS have authority to give private information?

Does this sound like it could be genuine or like he is trying to make me worried? I am a bit concerned, I know that if I want to keep him away then at some point I will have to go to court but I am a nervous wreck right now with a very poorly baby.

I'm afraid I have no idea how genuine this is.


Have you spoken to the staff at the hospital, to let them know exactly who may, and may not, visit your baby? If not, please speak to them as soon as possible.


You can also tell them about your fears with regard to your ex - the hospital may well have a system in place to deal with this kind of situation.


Also, have you registered baby's birth yet? If you haven't, then it would be worth waiting until you have spoken to people about your situation.


Finally, and most importantly, best wishes to baby. Hoping that all goes well for you both.

Homeownertobe

Either he disappeared and then turned up towards the end or he was there throughout the pregnancy? You can't have it both ways.

In case this is a genuine post - yes, he can. The child is both of yours, not just yours.

Guest101

On top off this every organisation has to release information with a court order, and the court will order this. A paternity test will follow and then a contact order made.

I'm sorry but you chose him, u decided to have a baby with him and he definitely has rights.

Witch_Hazel

Isla-rose wrote: »

Hello
Basically I have a very newborn premature baby who is currently still in hospital. My ex boyfriend (who we were barely together more than a month)

Grow up and have some respect for yourself, unprotected sex with a bloke, you were with for just a month.

thorsoak

Talk to the staff at the hospital which is looking after your baby. Have you registered the birth yet? As I understand it, unless you are married to the father of the baby, you are unable to put the father's name on the birth certificate unless he is present .

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

It's a wind up. Don't play along.

FBaby

No the NHS cannot release your details except ordered by the court, but I can't imagine that would apply in a case of custody, unless there was evidence you or your baby were in danger.

As to your attitude to the father being involved, I would say that you might have to be prepared to see the situation differently. The fact that he didn't want the baby when you were pregnant (and if you tricked him into it even more understandibly) doesn't mean he isn't entitled to change his mind. As a matter of fact, a friend of mine was the same when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant, she too refused contact for the same reason when the child was born, and due to various circumstances, he now has custody and is a wonderful father. He does regret deeply his attitude at the time, but that doesn't mean he isn't a great father now.

It sounds like you were both nasty to each other, so not sure why that alone would mean he can't be a good father just as it doesn't mean you won't be a good mum.

It will all come down to how persistent (and wealthy) he is, but if he is on a mission to have access to his child, unless there is recorded evidence of violence or drugs, it is highly likely that it would be granted because it is always thought that it is in the best interest of children to have contact with both parents.

dandelionclock30

I think you need to go to see a solicitor so that you get the correct information.Not rely on what people on here say as sometimes they are wrong.

Morglin

If he has been violent, and you have serious concerns, then ask the ward staff to refer you to a hospital social worker.

They are well used to this sort of thing, and will advise you as to your options, and give any support you need.

Best wishes to you and the baby.

Lin

Person_one

FBaby wrote: »

(and if you tricked him into it even more understandibly)

Where is that in the OP? I must have missed it.