Can the court find me if ex has filed a custody order?

System

How did he get the scan photo?

captainhindsight_2

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think it's up to you to decide whether or not he can see his child it would be upto the courts.

Isla-rose

I did not have unprotected sex with him after one month we were ALWAYS having protected sex and obviously there was an accident. I did not trick him at all as I didn't even want a baby until he was born, the only thing I didn't do was get an abortion which is what he wanted.

I have spoken to hospital staff and they have said they will only allow me in unless I request anything different, he doesn't know the hospital the child is in anyway as he lives over 100 miles away, I haven't even seen him since I was in the early stages of pregnancy.

He was not there through the pregnancy. He was there in terms of trying to convince me to get rid of it while being abusive and violent in terms of scans etc he didn't want to know. He then dropped contact at 15 weeks completely.

The fact is I'm not being spiteful or trying to avoid contact through jealousy that we didn't work out or anything which is probably what people are expecting. I've offered him contact in a contact centre when the baby is out of hospital and he's refused this and says he wants full custody of the baby but he will settle for just getting joint and pursue full after. This man is a drug dealer (I found this out after I fell pregnant) he has 3 phones/numbers no bank account everything in cash very dodgy and do not want my child to be influenced by that. He paid men to try and give me a misacariage and he himself tried to punch me in the stomach. He calls me so many names and has threatened to rape me in his own words "if your having my child then I can have sex with you anytime I want even if you don't want it il just do it anyway"

I don't want this man near my child end of and even prepared to move if needs be

Isla-rose

CHRISSYG wrote: »

How did he get the scan photo?

Off my social media account.

I understand that the courts will decide but I'm just asking if they are able to trace me based on the information he has. I know to keep him away I will need to go to court but I'm just not ready yet

Guest101

Isla-rose wrote: »

I did not have unprotected sex with him after one month we were ALWAYS having protected sex and obviously there was an accident. I did not trick him at all as I didn't even want a baby until he was born, the only thing I didn't do was get an abortion which is what he wanted.

I have spoken to hospital staff and they have said they will only allow me in unless I request anything different, he doesn't know the hospital the child is in anyway as he lives over 100 miles away, I haven't even seen him since I was in the early stages of pregnancy.

He was not there through the pregnancy. He was there in terms of trying to convince me to get rid of it while being abusive and violent in terms of scans etc he didn't want to know. He then dropped contact at 15 weeks completely.

The fact is I'm not being spiteful or trying to avoid contact through jealousy that we didn't work out or anything which is probably what people are expecting. I've offered him contact in a contact centre when the baby is out of hospital and he's refused this and says he wants full custody of the baby but he will settle for just getting joint and pursue full after. This man is a drug dealer (I found this out after I fell pregnant) he has 3 phones/numbers no bank account everything in cash very dodgy and do not want my child to be influenced by that. He paid men to try and give me a misacariage and he himself tried to punch me in the stomach. He calls me so many names and has threatened to rape me in his own words "if your having my child then I can have sex with you anytime I want even if you don't want it il just do it anyway"

I don't want this man near my child end of and even prepared to move if needs be

I presume you reported all of this to the police and have reference numbers and evidence?

Guest101

Isla-rose wrote: »

Off my social media account.

I understand that the courts will decide but I'm just asking if they are able to trace me based on the information he has. I know to keep him away I will need to go to court but I'm just not ready yet

YES THE COURTS CAN ORDER THE RELEASE OF INFORMATION- 3rd or 4th time it's been said to you

FBaby

Person_one wrote: »

Where is that in the OP? I must have missed it.

That's why there was a 'if' to start with and in parenthesis. Women have accidents, men get tricked

Ultimately, you chose to keep a baby with this man and by this decision, you linked yourself to him for at least 18 years. He has a right to have access to his baby without it having to be in a contact centre just like you do.

I would say that for your peace of mind, you are better accepting that one day, you might have to accept to hand over your baby to him, and if that happens, it will be much easier to do so if you start the process earlier rather than later.

FBaby

Isla-rose wrote: »

Off my social media account.

I understand that the courts will decide but I'm just asking if they are able to trace me based on the information he has. I know to keep him away I will need to go to court but I'm just not ready yet

Courts have ways to find people from other sources than relying on what people have, so yes, it is likely they would be able to find you.

dandelionclock30

OP please go and see someone who can advise you properly tommorrow. Most solicitors have a free first 1/2 hour or so. Also you could go to the CAB as they have solicitors attached to them.
Dont put yourself or your baby at risk of any harm.

dandelionclock30

FBaby wrote: »

That's why there was a 'if' to start with and in parenthesis. Women have accidents, men get tricked

Ultimately, you chose to keep a baby with this man and by this decision, you linked yourself to him for at least 18 years. He has a right to have access to his baby without it having to be in a contact centre just like you do.

I would say that for your peace of mind, you are better accepting that one day, you might have to accept to hand over your baby to him, and if that happens, it will be much easier to do so if you start the process earlier rather than later.

No he doesnt, not if shes been threatened by him and is frightened of him. She doesnt have to accept anything at all. She could get an injunction out on him and ensure that everything is done through social services and a contact centre.Your making it up as you go along.