Real life dilemma - place your bets

marisco_2

nickyhutch wrote: »

Also, what your family thinks of a potential partner really shouldn't be all that important.

When you are thinking of being in a long term relationship with someone, I think it is very important to be able to feel that they will get on well with those that you are very close to.

nickyhutch

marisco wrote: »

When you are thinking of being in a long term relationship with someone, I think it is very important to be able to feel that they will get on well with those that you are very close to.

OP has said she sees her family once a month. I wouldn't call that very close, or choose a partner (someone you live with, or see very frequently) based on it.


I'm very close to most of my family, but still wouldn't base my choice of a partner on what I thought they might, or might not think, and would hate to think that a member of my family might choose someone based on what *I* might think.

VfM4meplse

marisco wrote: »

When you are thinking of being in a long term relationship with someone, I think it is very important to be able to feel that they will get on well with those that you are very close to.

Critical, I'd say. A bit of forward planning can save a real headache in the long term. My family doesn't hold back on its views and I don't need to introduce stress into their lives. It's important to me that I am able to look after them when the time comes.

kelpie35 wrote: »

I think it is very strange that a 40 year old needs to come on to an open forum to get peoples views of who you should shack up with.

Its called getting an external opinion based on the salient facts. I think I know what I'm going to do but it doesn't harm to get other perspectives.

This is what this board is for, after all.

Tigsteroonie

Forget Mr A for whatever reason. (Is he married? )

Mr B sounds like a no-hoper, there's no spark.

Mr D isn't on the horizon.

So, the way I see it, you have nothing to lose from making a play for Mr C At the worst, you'll get knocked back - and at least then you'd know.

VfM4meplse

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

So, the way I see it, you have nothing to lose from making a play for Mr C At the worst, you'll get knocked back - and at least then you'd know.

Its the fear of the shame factor . This is the problem when you really like someone, seems I risk getting a taste of my own medicine and tbh it would serve me right if I did.

HPoirot

Isn't this a bit geeky-teenagey, what's wrong with putting yourself out there and hoping to actually meet someone?

Bogof_Babe

What has your past relationship history been like? You don't sound over-confident in the dating stakes.

suicidebob

Sounds like you're thinking about this way too much. Haven't seen one for years, don't particularly like others, one appears to be married, one appears to want to have sex with you and you think he is possible marriage material, one probably just xts when he's horny.

Sounds like it's important for you to think there's 4 guys desperate to be with you, a wannabe !!!!!!, and the reality is you're obsessing over them, not the other way round.

meritaten

so your 'Mr Perfect' is far from perfect? so what is it about him that attracts you so much? and what scares you off? The others are obviously 'no-hopers'.

VfM4meplse

HPoirot wrote: »

Isn't this a bit geeky-teenagey, what's wrong with putting yourself out there and hoping to actually meet someone?

I meet loads of men, and discount 99.9% immediately. I'm looking for a spark, it's not easy to describe but I know it when I see it.

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

What has your past relationship history been like? You don't sound over-confident in the dating stakes.

I don't generally struggle here, but the fact is I'm not wild about most of the men I see. It makes a change to find one with the "it" factor, hence I wasn't as forthcoming with D as I should have been. I didn't think he'd go off the radar