Real life dilemma - place your bets

Bogof_Babe

Why not make a deliberate decision not to pursue a relationship with anyone for six months. Take up some hobbies that both sexes enjoy, e.g. that old chestnut a walking group, or adult education, or amdram...

Bet you you've met someone new within that six months, and A, B, C & D are of no further interest to you! In any case you'll make new friends, and you can never have too many of those .

shegirl

With respect VFM this is all very bizarre.


You should be going for someone you want and who wants you too. Not ip dipping over various guys who you aren't interested in or aren't interested in you.


I think you need a more relaxed and normal approach, although I understand why you're doing this, it's very odd and I don't think it will lead to happiness if I'm honest

purpleshoes_2

lulu_92 wrote: »

I know that purpleshoes, it's one of those old stereotypes, more commonly heard in America.

Well, its game over for me then, being 45, single and having cats:rotfl:

However, Id rather be happily single with said cats than be miserably coupled up, which I have been at times in my life. I just dont get why the OP listed 4 people that were possibilities when she didnt seem to like them all.

No one ever puts pressure on me to find someone and I dont put it on myself. Ive been asked out a few times this year but wasnt right for me at that time.

I think society can make it tough once you get past a certain age that folk think you need to be coupled up, but Id personally rather spend a few more years on my own or even the rest of my life on my own than go back to some of the crappy relationships Ive been in in the past.

I certainly wouldnt be considering a relationship with someone I felt nil spark for.

VfM4meplse

onlyroz wrote: »

Why mention him at all if he's not an option?

Because he's the one I actually want :o:o

Bogof_Babe

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Because he's the one I actually want :o:o

He's married then?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Because he's the one I actually want :o:o

So wait for him to get divorced, then start dating.

Or move on and meet someone else, rather than put up with secondhand goods.

Sometimes, the quiet one can turn out to be the guy with more substance, though; it never occurred to me that I would be with the guy I've been with for 18 months now - I thought he might be interested, but discounted it. Turned out, once he finally relaxed enough to talk to me, that he was smart, sweet and funny. So I was stunned when he turned out to be what I suppose people call 'The One'. It threw him as well. Especially the *chemistry*. That left us both in shock.

VfM4meplse

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

He's married then?

No, just completely unsuitable :(:(

I don't do marrieds. It's VfM's strictest rule.

itsanne

Other than being married, then, or incest, nothing is insurmountable.

Either go for A and be done with, which appears to be what you want to do, or find someone different - you're not actually interested in any of the others.

seven-day-weekend

Ask Mr C out on a date doing something you would both like. If he says no, then that's him out of the picture. If he says yes, then who knows?

The others are already out of the picture.

ETA: Just seen Mr A isn't married as I thought. If you like him best, why not pursue a relationship with him?

My friend married someone 'unsuitable', they have been together for thirty years and have three children and one grandchild

VfM4meplse

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

ETA: Just seen Mr A isn't married as I thought. If you like him best, why not pursue a relationship with him?

Because although he has made it clear he adores me, like me he's a realist and knows it ain't gonna happen

So when our brains are telling us the same thing, there is no point from which to negotiate a future. Because there is no future.