How do you know you're "ready"?

Flossie.

lulu_92 wrote: »

It'd be a bloody cheap present too! (until it's born of course!) :rotfl:

:rotfl: YEP, then say bye bye to any surplus income! Ever. Tee hee.

lulu_92

Flossie. wrote: »

:rotfl: YEP, then say bye bye to any surplus income! Ever. Tee hee.

:rotfl: tell me about it!

FBaby

And yes it is true: a woman’s fertility peaks in the early and mid 20s, after which it starts to decline, with this decline being accelerated after age 35.

Yes, there is a decline, but that doesn't mean that getting pregnant after 35 is a case of a miracle. It just means that it will in most instances take longer.

It is still a much better idea to wait until you are 35 if it means having a child in the best possible environment than rushing at 28 to find yourself a single mum with little prospect to offer your child.

jtr2803

FBaby wrote: »

Yes, there is a decline, but that doesn't mean that getting pregnant after 35 is a case of a miracle. It just means that it will in most instances take longer.

It is still a much better idea to wait until you are 35 if it means having a child in the best possible environment than rushing at 28 to find yourself a single mum with little prospect to offer your child.

Exactly this! Nothing like terrorising women in their twenties to pro-create in the name of decreasing fertility.

bridgedino

Noisey sex will be a distant memory to....sssshhhhhhhhhh

Flossie.

jtr2803 wrote: »

Exactly this! Nothing like terrorising women in their twenties to pro-create in the name of decreasing fertility.

I can't believe this post! Nobody is terrorising anyone. We are just presenting the facts; that after the age of 30, fertility will decrease, (in women,) and it will decrease much faster after the age of 35. There is no 'attempting to terrorise people;' that is a ridiculous thing to say.

Take it the wrong way, and make out that people are warning of decreasing fertility to scare people if you want. But the facts are there; after 35 your fertility does decrease dramatically. Fact.

And as for fbaby's comment: 'it's better to wait til after 35, rather than have a baby you're not ready for;' Fine. But you do take the risk of having problems conceiving. I don't think there is even a debate here: the facts are there.

Luvplacebo

To reply to OP, we hadn't specifically mentioned having children for the first year of us being together. Then one day a women randomly came up to us and said I looked ready for babies. We started talking about it, both agreed it wasn't time to try yet but I did tell him that I didn't want to wait too long to try as I knew I had fertility issues which were found in my early teens.

About a year later I was in hospital a lot, I'd pretty much recovered and then had a minor relapse, I asked him to bring the pill to me when he went home as I'd forgotten to pack it and he asked if I really wanted to take it or did I feel ready to start trying.

I'm sure someone will comment saying it was irresponsible for us to start trying while I was in hospital, but no surgery was needed and I'd previously been told it could take a good while to conceive; I'd also been on the pill for a long time so it took a while to get out of my system.

Long story short, it took over a year to conceive as prpredicted and even though he is slightly aprehensive due to a miscarriage a while back, we're both excited and I'm glad I waited until he was ready. We also did decide that we wanted children more than getting married or buying a house (we've rented throughout our relationship and the wedding keeps being put back due to other reasons, we'll get there one day with the wedding though!

Counting_Pennies_2

I haven't had a chance to read the other replies.


Personally I would say don't try to talk him round.


I was in exactly the same position as you. I was 28 and got married and had a child the year later.


I wish I had given myself a couple more years to explore the world, do a few more hobbies.


My life was hectic and it would have been nice to have slowed down a little first and enjoyed being just us.


When a baby arrives it is relentless. In a nice way, but very very hard work.


Personally I would go with you OH and have a couple more years

themull1

I was NEVER EVER having kids, got drunk one night, said to boyfriend 'of course we don't need contraception' nine months later, first daughter born.!! Had second daughter three years later, my reasoning for this was that i had already ruined my life having one, may as well have another.!! I love them to bits though!!

But if i had 'waited until ready' i would never have had kids. Just go for it if thats what you both want.

southoftheriver

I'm 30 and ask myself the same thing all the time! I've always wanted children, ideally earlier than now but I didn't finish uni until I was nearly 27. I'm now engaged so am keen to get married first, and have an exam in March that I'd like to get sorted.

Importantly, my fianc! wants kids too. He is more relaxed about it than me but I work around fertility and pregnancy so I know I don't have years to play with. I couldn't be with someone who didn't want kids, it's too important to me.

Good luck with figuring it all out!