How do you know you're "ready"?

Gavin83

Lily-Rose wrote: »

I must say, at 28 y.o, it may be a good idea, to not leave it too much longer.

I thought that was considered quite young these days. I've a number of friends who have now had children but without exception they've all had kids in their 30's.

SanguineSteve

TrickyWicky wrote: »

Oooohh... now thats a controversial comment that I'm sure many men would disagree with!

Don't tell me that you'd never have kids with your favourite celebrity woman? - I know I would!

weird, on so many levels.

cr1mson

For us there were three phases-

No we don't want children
Yes we want children but we want to do X first
Yes let's go for it!

I'm glad we didn't miss out step 2 as it was really important. A good book to read is Life after Birth which will give you a real flavour of having a baby warts and all.

However as others have said nothing really prepares you and if everyone waited until everything was a 100% right the human race would die out!

Gavin83

TrickyWicky wrote: »

Oooohh... now thats a controversial comment that I'm sure many men would disagree with!

Don't tell me that you'd never have kids with your favourite celebrity woman? - I know I would!

Missed this.

No I wouldn't. I assume your joking but having children because the person I'm sleeping with is a celebrity isn't a good enough reason for me.

Lily-Rose_3

Gavin83 wrote: »

I thought that was considered quite young these days. I've a number of friends who have now had children but without exception they've all had kids in their 30's.

Oh no, I would definitely have to disagree with you on that one. Some women *may* leave it til after 30, but it's not a good idea.

A woman's fertility starts to decline when she hits 30, and with each passing year after that, it drops even further. I did read somewhere once, that you are five to six times less fertile at 35 than you were at 30, and TEN times less fertile by 38 than you were at 35. As I said, once you hit 35, your fertility starts to take a rapid nosedive.

If you are around 30, it's time to start trying (if you want a family.) Not wise to leave it much longer than that. No matter what ANYone tells you. I have lost count of the amount of women who have 'left it' til 36-37 ish, before trying for their first baby, and they really struggle to conceive.

Even the ones that do conceive within say a year, rarely have a second baby, because they left it so late.

Many women who have their first one later (say around 40,) and then go on to have another one, will usually have had 'help' (eg IVF.)

Nothing wrong with that; but I am just saying that if you leave it too long after 30, you are more likely to struggle to conceive.

lulu_92

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Oh no, I would definitely have to disagree with you on that one. Some women *may* leave it til after 30, but it's not a good idea.

A woman's fertility starts to decline when she hits 30, and with each passing year after that, it drops even further. I did read somewhere once, that you are five to six times less fertile at 35 than you were at 30, and TEN times less fertile by 38 than you were at 35. As I said, once you hit 35, your fertility starts to take a rapid nosedive.

If you are around 30, it's time to start trying (if you want a family.) Not wise to leave it much longer than that. No matter what ANYone tells you. I have lost count of the amount of women who have 'left it' til 36-37 ish, before trying for their first baby, and they really struggle to conceive.

Even the ones that do conceive within say a year, rarely have a second baby, because they left it so late.

Many women who have their first one later (say around 40,) and then go on to have another one, will usually have had 'help' (eg IVF.)

Nothing wrong with that; but I am just saying that if you leave it too long after 30, you are more likely to struggle to conceive.

Can't argue with fact

This is why I'm trying now. Add the early menopause that runs in my family and these statistics and I'd be mad not to!

Flossie.

lulu_92 wrote: »

OH and I are currently trying. I was taking my pill in May and I had about a weeks worth when I turned to him and said (half-jokingly) "instead of me going to get more pills why don't we try for a baby" OH said yes and we were so excited. Two days later he told me that he was calling my bluff when he said yes, because he wanted to make sure I knew what we were in for. We agreed eventually to wait until September, when my pills would run out. (I was annoyed with this because he kept changing his mind for about a week - at this point I had to pay £25 for the pill because I couldn't get in to my doctors in time!)

So we're in our third cycle now. It's frustrating because TTC is at times. Sometimes I fear that OH doesn't want it and he's just going along with what I want but he has reassured me it's all okay

I felt the same way as you before. I wanted to start trying though due to my age. Yes, I'm only 22, but my mum and my grandma both experiences very early menopause. I want to get kids out of the way so I am not left heartbroken by leaving it too late and not being able to conceive.

That's great Lulu. Sounds like you're totally on the same page, and I hope you get blessed soon.

And yes it is true: a woman’s fertility peaks in the early and mid 20s, after which it starts to decline, with this decline being accelerated after age 35.

From wikipedia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_and_female_fertility

In humans, a woman's fertility peaks in the early and mid-20s, after which it starts to decline slowly, with a more dramatic drop at around 35

Pregnancy rates do not change between the 27–29 age group and not too much in the the 30–34 age group, but it drops sharply for women over 35.


Also

http://www.socalfertility.com/age-and-fertility/


Pregnancy over Age 35 and Related Risks

A number of different problems characterize the ability to achieve pregnancy over 35. There is a noticeable decline in the fertility rate starting at age 35 to a level of about 10% per month. A woman seeking pregnancy over 35 should consult a fertility specialist after only 6 months of actively attempting to become pregnant.

The pregnancy risk over 35 is higher as well as evidenced an increase in the miscarriage rate and the incidence of genetic abnormality in pregnancy. At 35, the miscarriage rate is 25% and the risk of Down syndrome becomes about 1/350. 35 is the age at which genetic testing in pregnancy is first recommended since the chance of picking up an abnormality is greater than the risk of the procedure used to find it.

So going back to what the OP said, it probably is a good idea to start trying sooner rather than later, but you do have to make sure that you both want a baby. Luckily, me and my other half knew we were ready, both at the same time luckily. Prob around 30-31 or so I would say. We conceived after about 3-4 months of trying.

lulu_92

Flossie. wrote: »

That's great Lulu. Sounds like you're totally on the same page, and I hope you get blessed soon.

And yes it is true: a woman’s fertility peaks in the early and mid 20s, after which it starts to decline, with this decline being accelerated after age 35.

Thank you very much I hope we do too, I want to surprise him for Christmas!

Flossie.

lulu_92 wrote: »

Thank you very much I hope we do too, I want to surprise him for Christmas!

What a lovely Christmas present that would be! To find you're expecting a baby.

lulu_92

Flossie. wrote: »

What a lovely Christmas present that would be! To find you're expecting a baby.

It'd be a bloody cheap present too! (until it's born of course!) :rotfl: